


Charlotte's Next Steps

by AnnaKnightley



Series: Charlotte's Next Steps [1]
Category: Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen
Genre: F/M, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-01-26 07:48:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 57,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21370663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaKnightley/pseuds/AnnaKnightley
Summary: When one door closes another door opens in Charlotte's new found world but can it appease the memories....
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood/Original Character(s), Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker
Series: Charlotte's Next Steps [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1540627
Comments: 264
Kudos: 606





	1. An Advantageous Offer

**Author's Note:**

> Go gentle as this is my first attempt at getting my imagination down onto paper.

Chapter One:

‘Charlotte – a dispatch arrived for you today’ - her father said to her over dinner one night in late September. 

***

It had been several weeks since Charlotte returned home and back to what used to be the world she knew intimately and contentedly. What once was coloured now had a certain tinge of dullness to it. The blackbirds were invisible to Charlotte on her daily solitude walks as her mind drifted aimlessly back to a summer that offered so much but left her with so little. If she had but one regret, it was that she wished she could have found another way to help Mr. Parker find a solution to the financial nightmare the other frivolous and irresponsible Mr. Parker left in his wake after that infamous fire in Sanditon. But she knew - she knew that her contribution would have been slight and no matter how hard she tried to think ill of Mr. Parker she knew it was a fruitless waste of time and emotion. She reprimanded herself for saying to him that he should try harder to help his brother. Why? Oh why did she say that? Was it her words that had encouraged him to oblige himself to Mrs. Campion? Round and round that thought festered in her head sending her normal emotional stability into a state of confounding disarray. Many a day she walked aimlessly pondering this time and time again. There seemed to be no escape from it. Solitude gave her solace but it equally created an internal state of torture that left both her direction and her attention meandering without intention. 

She occupied herself as best she could but it was always there. There had been a wedding of a local farmer and his sweetheart in Willingdon in the early Indian summer weeks of September which pierced her heart deep. She could not but think about what might have been. She had quietly removed herself to the church graveyard to find a moment to let her tears fall in private when the service had finished. She couldn’t understand why it had affected her so much. Heartbreak had crept upon her from behind when she wasn’t looking. She was so composed at the wedding of her friend, Esther Denham to Lord Babington when her heart’s desire stood just five feet away from her standing up for his friend as much as she was standing up for her friend. But then she was quite intent of putting on a good show remembering that that day was all about the bride, not her feelings. Brooding about it seemed futile.

And so her life progressed neither with intention nor purpose. It felt like her sound common sense and assuredness had been stolen from her. Instead she was now left with a grey world where sometimes she had to remember to inhale. 

Charlotte struggled to readjust back to Willingdon life after her adventures in Sanditon. She couldn’t forgive herself but she now felt trapped in a world that wouldn’t allow her to be her true self. She had helped another be his better self and yet here she was left with an anger that somehow she had fared worse on her return than he had in his choices. He had after all, despite whatever good and noble motivation he felt, chosen another future that didn’t include her. She had said that she didn’t think badly of him and she had truly believed that at the time. But with hindsight, she felt very angry. Fate had taken her up a hill that she did not know existed and robustly pushed her back down that hill beyond the starting point she had set off from. And yet would she wish it had never had happened? Would she wish that she had never gone to Sanditon? No never! Not at all! She just knew that time would help her through this period of uncertainty and she wished desperately that she would come out a better and fuller young woman on the back of it.

***

‘Open the letter now’ her mother encouraged her. ‘It has come from London after all. It must be important’. Charlotte gently forged open the letter and read it quietly to herself first before offering a shorter version of the contents with her parents -

‘My dear friend Charlotte, 

I do so want to apologise for my lack of contact over the past few weeks. I have been in the countryside and only recently returned to London where very shortly afterwards I learned of the fire in Sanditon. I could hardly believe it. I was so very surprised to hear that a certain Mr. Parker had also engaged himself to that wealthy widow. I cannot pretend that I am keen on said woman particularly after her remarks to you - albeit she showed you an indirect compliment making public her own insecurities in your company. However, I cannot abide women who feel the need to take down another woman to ensure they can maintain their own standing in the eyes of another. It is a great failing to be sure. 

But I drift away from the purpose of this letter. Charlotte my friend, I would like to invite you to London as my special guest at a time convenient to you this side of Michaelmas. Please do say that you will come. I meet many people and many of the same people I’m afraid. You are a like a breadth of fresh air in a world that becomes too intoxicated with itself. Do please me with the pleasure of your company and in exchange allow me to show you many of the museums and sites that London has to offer.

Yours,

Susan’

Over several communiques it was decided that Charlotte would arrive in London within the month to stay with her new and interesting friend, Lady Susan Worcester, the fulcrum of the Beau Monde of London. She was to stay a fortnight before returning home for the beginning of Willingdon’s Christmas celebrations. 

Once in London, Charlotte could not lie that she was both nervous and apprehensive on the off chance of an encounter with Mr Parker and his bride to be. When she discovered that they were residing in her country estate with friends in Norfolk, she was both relieved and disappointed at the same time. There was a small but intense fire within her that burned and only she knew it was bursting to explode from within her. When she walked around the wealthy streets of Kensington before her daily stroll in Hyde Park, she hope, she prayed that there may be just one sighting of him. Just a sighting for if she had actually met him, she could not be sure of her reaction. She could not offer herself a guarantee that she would simply walk away or fall in love with him all over again. Would she have the strength to resist or leave herself exposed to that open wound she was slowly trying to heal? She could not predict.

On her last morning before returning home, over breakfast, she thanked Lady Susan for the great kindness and patronage she had shown her. 

‘Charlotte my dear. It is time I am honest with you. Once I said to you that the race was not won. Your love was not a foregone conclusion. What I saw that night at the ball and again in Sanditon were two young people deeply taken with each and very much in love. 

‘But life and unfortunately, people, can be a very cruel lover and what should be doesn’t always end up with what does be. ‘. She paused and sighed - ‘You have not raised the issue during your stay here but I cannot believe that you are insensitive to your situation. 

‘My dear if you don’t already know, let me be a friend who tells you with the most kindest consideration that Mr. Parker and Mrs. Campion are to be married in early March. A date has been set and without a miracle, your beloved, no matter how much you try to claim that you are indifferent to him, is your beloved and he will be married to another. To another who fades in comparison next to you as well she knows it. 

‘But my dear’ she said as she held Charlotte’s hands in her own in an act of reassurance ‘please I do not want to send you off in despair or disappointment. I want to offer you another opportunity. 

‘Next spring I am due to travel to the Continent to the warmer shores of the Italian coast. Please, please be so kind as to join me as my special companion. There will be so much culture to take in and enjoy. I am travelling with a small group of very interesting people and I have no doubt that you would thoroughly enjoy their company and conversation. And if you come, it will give me some added relief to know that while this horrendous wedding is happening, you will be far, far away seeing other sights the world has to offer. If love isn’t knocking on your door now, adventure is. Discuss this with your parents when you arrive home but promise me that you will consider my proposition seriously’.

And so Charlotte travelled home with this offer ringing in her ears. She formulated various ways of approaching her parents with this offer and various arguments to counter argue any opposition they may have. On reflection, they agreed that it was a great honour and opportunity for their daughter and a date was set of March the First for Charlotte to begin her journey to London and onwards to a world that books had but barely touched upon.


	2. A Necessary Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Closing the door on what might have been, Charlotte puts the past behind or so she thinks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JA always gave us strong heroines who were on a journey of knowing their own minds and themselves. I wanted to tap into this so in order for Charlotte to move on from Ep 8, she needed to put the past behind her before she went back out into the world.

Chapter Two:

Charlotte stood on the Clipper watching the chalk cliffs of Dover disappear on the horizon. A lady’s maid came to enquire if she were coming down below to where it was drier and more comfortable. She would in due course she replied. She just wanted a few moments to herself to take in what was happening. 

Here she was on a boat sailing over the English Channel with some of Britain’s most famous aristocrats heading to foreign shores to a world she never dreamed she would see or visit. How had all this happened? A young woman from Willingdon, She, Charlotte Heywood, of no special status in society, a farmer’s daughter who liked to read books as she once referred to herself…how had this all came about? Her head spun at her fortunate luck. The opportunity that she was now enjoying she promised herself she would not miss one moment of it. She intended to take it all in, absorb every cultural nuance like a starving pup gasping for some of his mother’s milk. 

How fast time moved once it was settled that Charlotte would be a participant on this trip. Her mother insisted on a new wardrobe. Her father grunted regularly about it all visibly perturbed by all the upheaval in their lives. ‘If you feel disgruntled about this, imagine what a wedding would be like’ Mrs. Heywood said to him once. ‘In both cases, I am equally at odds.’ He replied. 

Mr. Heywood was a busy gentleman managing his estate but one thing that pleasured him most of all was on coming home to a busy, noisy house that came about from having twelve children. If he could he would stop time and keep all his children just as they are never allowing them to leave home. He was not at ease at having ‘to allow his flock find their own wings’ or ‘daughters need husbands’ conversations. He abhorred them in fact. 

He walked with Charlotte one day before her departure. ‘Daughter’ he said - ‘it was with a nervous heart last year when I agreed to let you go to Sanditon. I still have not forgiven your mother for convincing me to let you go. I won’t lie. I missed my eldest child most harsh. I had no one to nag me around the farm. 

‘Yes don’t look at me like that. I will only say it the once’ he grinned trying to be authoritative in equal measures.

‘Charlotte I don’t know what happened to you last summer but it is evident that you came back a different, a more mature version of yourself. My little girl left but in her place a woman came back. I am glad to see though your good very sensible sense came back with you though. And I am going to appeal to this side of you again to be careful on this trip to Italy. 

‘This opportunity, well, it is something I as your father, cannot offer you. It is true. I am very well aware of the constraints that my position in life could potentially close doors in high society on you. It might deter suitors from knocking on your door as your dowry is not quite what I would have liked it to be. 

‘But Charlotte, my darling Charlotte, I am exceedingly proud of you. No daughter could ever have brought so much joy to a father than you have. I will miss you terribly but ...’ he composed himself – 

‘I want you to savour every moment you have over the next few months. Walk through every door and down every path that comes your way. Write to us my dear. A lot. But promise me that you will always be sensible. Don’t lose yourself along the way. Grow but don’t hurt yourself. Be honest, kind and respectful to all those you meet – rich or poor. And remember to come back at the end of it.’

As the carriage rolled away with Charlotte in it, Mrs Haywood turned to her husband and said ‘Maybe this time she will come back with a husband' to which Mr Haywood grunted with disdain. No one was good enough for his Charlotte.

Here was Charlotte now watching England disappear into a fog of mist as the ship sailed out to sea. ‘Goodbye home. Goodbye Mama and Papa. Goodbye Alison and the rest of you.’ She bowed her head in thoughtful reflection wiping a tear from her eye and looked up – ‘Goodbye Sidney’ she said aloud to no one but to the spirits of the seas. ‘Let this be the last tear I cry for him. ‘

She pulled out a sea shell she had kept from her summer in Sanditon. In fact, she found it the day she had come across him unwittingly while he was bathing in the cove. She had no letters from him, no presents from him, nothing tangible that outwardly had advertised his feelings for her. All she had was this shell that carried so many loaded memories from that day, that summer. 

But her beloved was soon to be no more. She still had not enquired as to what date the upcoming nuptials were to be held. What difference would it make for he was not to be hers. And she couldn’t linger on it anymore. She needed to start afresh.

She kissed that precious shell she had treasured so much over the last months and without hesitation she threw it out into the choppy sea waters. It rested on the top before it disappeared under. As it did, Charlotte couldn’t stifle a cry, bowed her head again holding onto the side of the ship until she could compose herself. ‘Goodbye my love. I wish you every happiness’ she whispered to no one but herself. With that, she turned and headed below.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much more to come. I hope you'll stay tuned in.


	3. A Definition of Love

Chapter Three:

After three straight weeks of travelling in Lady Susan’s carriage, Charlotte promised herself that she would never endure such a journey of that longitude ever again. She feared that she would be left permanently marked by the vibrations and shaking created by the carriage down many dirt roads. 

They stopped and enjoyed the hospitality of some of Lady Susan’s French aristocratic acquaintances en route. Conversation tentatively ventured around the recent restoration of the Bourbons amongst the aristocrats, some battle worn from the revolution and wars that had seen their fortunes and lands diminish. Indeed, some were delightfully happy to have kept their heads in tact in retrospect. Charlotte could do nothing but listen and enquire without trying to offend or resurrect bad memories. As Lady Susan explained, it is sometimes best to let sleeping dogs lie on this issue.

Lady Susan’s entourage consisted of five more. Lord Renford of Bushfield and his daughter, A Mr and Mrs Thornton, and A Mr Stratford. 

Lord Renford was a rotund gentle man who had been recently widowed of his wife of 25 years. He had an extensive estate in Kent and his daughter while no means delicate had a quiet reserve about her that her 10,000 a year made up for. Charlotte tried hard to engage in conversation with her but efforts to discuss the poetry of Keats fell on very un-opinionated ears. Lady Susan had asked her what she thought of the ‘young Renford girl’ as she described her. Charlotte felt the need to be polite in her response and say that she was a quiet, reserved girl who no doubt must have more interesting demands on her time than to be free to frivolously read poetry. ‘Tosh’ Lady Susan replied – ‘She hasn’t an ounce of gumption between her ears to be able to express an opinion. That’s what comes about my dear Charlotte when young ladies are reared to be seen and not heard. They lose the ability to think for themselves. Never be scared to express and opinion. The key is in making it a worthy opinion.’ And so what should have been a natural friendship between two young ladies never quite came about. 

Mr. and Mrs Thornton were an exceedingly decent and interesting couple. He was the second son to a Lord Thornton of Coldfields in Sussex left with a very generous allowance but no title. Mrs Thornton came with a considerable fortune and what not having a title left them without was made up for with wealth. Neither could have been any more than 25 years in age, married for some years but were still childless. Lady Susan had previously told Charlotte that she was very fond of them both and had wished for them to be blessed with a child as they both had an amazing capacity to love. 

Charlotte could not find much to see in Mr. Stratford in looks. Wealthy by birth, unmarried but with the pick of many aristocrats’ daughters, he declared himself to be an eternal bachelor who sought out the sensations of fine art, words and food in that order. Charlotte enjoyed their conversations immensely and together they perceived the world as they travelled in a manner that Lady Susan greatly approved off. 

They were a motley crew, Charlotte thought, all of them sharing one thing in common, an admiration for Lady Susan that brought about an intense loyalty and gratitude for her friendship and patronage. 

***

It was on the eighteenth day when they stopped along the coast. The footman opened up the carriages – there were three in total – and they all stepped out over a cliff to take in the absorbing colour of the sea. It was nothing Charlotte had ever seen before. It was a beautiful deep aquamarine which then transcended into a deep blue sea as the eye followed it out to the horizon. Charlotte’s eyes soaked in the colours. If she thought that the sea of Sanditon was beautiful, it paled in comparison to what she was seeing here with her own eyes. It was no wonder that the great poets and painters of the world were drawn to this world. She completely comprehended the appeal. It was majestic.   
Two days later they arrived in Villa del Beldicci, home to the Count del Beldicci and his son, Stefano. Villa del Beldicci was a beautiful palatial villa that overlooked the sea with a vast garden of wild flowers and roses that sloped its way down to a quiet inlet to the sea. The entourage were due to reside here for three weeks before moving south to the towns of Florence and Rome. Lady Susan had insisted that they stay with the Count as he was an old friend of hers from her younger days in London and it had been a great many year since they had been acquainted. The Beldicci name came from old lineage dating back to the days of the Medicis with most of their vast wealth diminishing over time but their title remained one of the most respected in the houses of Genoa. The Count’s son, Stefano, was an altogether charming gentleman of about twenty two with dark looks, dark eyes and striking features. Charlotte could not but consider him on of the most handsome men she had met although she felt that he was very aware of the effect he had on the female sex. 

Over dinner, the Count informed the group of his son’s intended, the daughter of a Genoan banker. The Count bemoaned the fact his son sent his days in quiet solitude considering his beloved and writing her poetry. He was in an unfortunate position that while Stefano had a title, he did not have a sufficient fortune to warrant the father agreeing into a marriage contract on behalf of his daughter. This same father, Lady Susan informed her afterwards, was also a little concerned that the future Count del Beldicci was also a little too free with his affections with other young ladies which he devotedly denied. One evening, both father and son entered into a very public show of disagreement where Stefano’s passion for his heart’s desire was palpable as his father tried to deny him visiting his young intended. Charlotte was indeed impressed by how open they were in expressing their feelings and emotions. On a walk on the beach one day the Count recalled his own earlier days in London when he first met Lady Susan and remarked on how reserved he found the English to be. ‘There was a proper way of doing things that didn’t feel very proper to me. This reserved-ness was not for me.’ he said – ‘that was up until I met Susan. What a grand and wonderful lady she is. I have always felt like the most fortunate man in the world to call her my friend. And if fortune had smiled differently, I would have liked to have called her my wife’. Charlotte felt like an intruder to his memories as he reminisced. One didn’t talk about old loves in that manner at home and she herself felt a certain uncomfortableness in his outward show of sentiment towards Lady Susan. 

It was one balmy and hot evening, that after dinner, Charlotte retired to her room. She stepped out onto her balcony and the moon shone high in the sky. It wasn’t just high in the sky; it was the brightest moon she had ever seen. It glistened upon the sea water like stars fallen from heaven. It was truly a sight to behold. Charlotte wasn’t satisfied in enjoying the view from her room. She could hear the sound of the sea lapping up onto the shore and knowing that she shouldn’t, she ventured out of the villa quietly opening and leaving the door ajar so she could get back in, and headed down to the sea. She walked through the gardens taking in the smell of the wild flowers. She stooped down at one point to breathe in the smell of deep rich red rose and when she stood up, she caught sight of Lady Susan on her balcony. 

She was about to wave up to her to acknowledge her presence when from behind Lady Susan, the Count arrived and proceeded to put his arms around her friend. Her friend approvingly turned around to meet his eyes and Charlotte could see well enough that there was a smile in those eyes. Before she realised what she was seeing, the Count had Lady Susan in a passionate embrace. Charlotte exclaimed a noise of surprise and turned quickly away not wanting to be party of something she didn’t want to be. She hastened her step to the beach to avoid any more embarrassing shocks. 

When she reached the sea shore, she removed her footing and gently waded into the water. There was no one to chastise her for exposing her bare feet, the beach was empty. The water felt warm, far from the bracing feel of the waters of Sanditon. The sand was soft underfoot as her feet sank into it. She closed her eyes and recorded all the sounds that she could hear. She looked up towards the moon and felt that in this one moment, she had never seen it look so imposing before. It was keeping the world lit up so the souls out at the sea could steer the right route, which shepherds at night could watch over their flock, that poets and dreamers could feel inspired by its sheer magical beauty. Charlotte took a deep long breadth absorbing the moment as she did. She bent down and successfully managed to find a scallop shell that she washed in the water. ‘In this moment-‘, she was thinking to herself, ‘in this moment, my life now begins.’ 

Contentedly she turned to retire back to the villa. On approaching the grand house, Charlotte heard happy and excitable voices coming from one of the dark corners of the garden. She went to investigate and to her embarrassing surprise found Stefano in an embrace with a young lady. ‘Ah! Is that what Lady Susan meant by free with his affections!’ she thought to herself. 

Trying not to be seen, she withdrew to avoid any party being embarrassed by the situation. However, her footsteps were not quiet enough as she heard from behind Stefano calling out to her ‘Miss Haywood – please I beg you, please do not let anyone know what you have seen here this evening. This is my intended, Carla Matteo. Carla has been very brave if not a little reckless in coming here to see me tonight. I have chastised her for taking such a risk but she would not be told. I fear that I am not too unhappy about it either. You see we are very much in love. Carla’s family are very much against us and we will run away together if we cannot be together. But we must time it right so please I beg of you, do not tell anyone of our secret. If you have ever been in love Ms. Haywood and there have been great obstacles in your way, you will know that you will move heaven and earth to remove them. If you have not been in love before, you now hold our dreams and our future in your hands. Be gentle and considerate with them.’ 

Charlotte could not move for the overwhelming appreciation of honesty that Stefano had shown. She bowed her head and replied in turn – ‘Yes I have been in love before and you have nothing to fear from me. I will not disclose your intentions but … I wish you all the very best. I am familiar with those obstacles that you have mentioned and I do hope you have better luck in removing them than I had.’

She made her way back to her room and stepped out onto her balcony. She opened her fist to reveal the shell that she had taken back with her from the beach. With as much strength as she could find, she threw it away into the garden exclaiming ‘Why must everything come back to you Mr Parker! Why did you not move heaven and earth for me!’.


	4. A Chance Encounter

Chapter Four:

Every day on this journey, Charlotte woke up never quite sure what to expect and went to bed never quite sure what had happened that day. The opportunities for new experiences, new conversations, and new acquaintances; Charlotte had never expected this wealth of entertaining engagement.

Mr. Stratford was proving to be a most enjoyable conversationalist. Truly he was turning into a true friend. As they travelled through Florence and down through the Tuscan hills towards Rome, Mr. Stratford implored her to be his protector from fortune-looking mothers of marriageable daughters. He considered one day out loud to her that such mothers were like vultures looking for their next feed. ‘I can assure you Ms. Heywood that there is plenty of meat on my bones and I don’t intend to share any of it’. 

***  
Charlotte was quite in awe of his ability to walk away from the norms of marriage. As they walked through Florence one day, they struck up a conversation on marriage:

‘Is it not expected of you, Mr. Stratford that you should settle down and find a wife? Does your family not expect it? Are you not an advocate of it?’ she asked him.

In turn, he replied that one of the benefits of having an easy fortune was choice and time. - ‘In time, my dear Ms. Heywood, I wish to meet a young lady who will meet me head on. In fact, I wouldn’t object to a lady of a strong mind who will take charge of all aspects of my life. If she has a little prettiness to her but more importantly, a sharp mind, I will be content.’

‘When I meet this aspirational ideal of my wife though, I will know as she will stand out from all others. So until then my purpose in life is to be fickle, carefree and quite ridiculously foolish with my time, attentions and money.’

Charlotte reflected on what a luxury that must be. -‘Do you not desire to have a family Mr. Stratford?’ 

‘I do my dear but not out of obligation. I could not live a life without some hint of love in the art of reproduction. I am sorry for being crude but there you have it. The art of love-making can be easily replicated to be disguised as love when in fact it fills a void. I can easily fill that void should I want but for me it would be a shallow experience.’

‘Don’t misunderstand me Charlotte. Right in this moment I do not seek a wife to fulfil any need I am missing and equally I want my life to be filled with love. I want for nothing. Do you find me shocking?’ he asked.

‘No indeed not. I hardly know what I feel on the matter. I fear I am ill-qualified to know the true workings on a man’s expectations of marriage. I always considered that there was no point in considering marriage until you had someone to consider. So I suppose I agree with you in one sense. There is no point missing something until you realise you needed it. Or want to miss it. I’m sorry. I am sure that that does not make sense. Until recently I had understood a definition of love and marriage to be one thing and then ….’ - She could not bring herself to finish that sentence. It raised those memories that she was trying incessantly to move on from. 

‘And then?’ he enquired. 

‘And then I discovered it wasn’t. There is not always a happy ending.’ Charlotte bowed her head and walked away from Mr. Stratford thankful that he didn’t probe any further.

Mr. Stratford was quite aware that Charlotte was in no mood to continue this discussion. Lady Susan had suggested that there had been a failed romance in Charlotte’s recent past. ‘What a fool of a man whoever he was to let such a blossom go’ he told Lady Susan. ‘Indeed’ she agreed glad that he also saw Charlotte’s endearing qualities in the same light that she did.

***

So our two travellers walked the streets of Florence taking in all the sights and sounds of Florentine life in quiet solitude at times and with great enthusiasm at others. It did not take them long to come before Michelangelo’s Statue of David on the Piazza della Signoria. 

‘What a magnificent work of art David really is!’ Mr. Stratford remarked. ‘Truly amazing! Look at the likeness. A fine specimen of Man!’ 

‘Oh Mr. Stratford! I really don’t think it is fitting for a lady to be looking at this in such a manner’ and Charlotte turned facing away from the statue. 

‘What nonsense!’ he replied and walked up to her and turned her around to take in the full magnificence of the masterpiece.

‘Do you think for one moment that when Michelangelo carved this into his piece of marble that he was thinking of what propriety? No of course he wasn’t. He was making a point, a bold statement.’ He continued. 

‘Oh wait! I see a guide. Let me go and ask him to give us an account of the statue Charlotte. Wait here…’ and off he went. 

Charlotte was left alone looking around waiting for some look of disapproval from someone to reaffirm in her own mind that this wasn’t a proper thing for a young lady to be looking at. When none came, she found her eyes drifting up the marvel of the statue. The shape of the body, the outline of the muscles, the proportions, the impropriety of it, and yet she could not remove her eyes from it. David was Him to all intent purposes. David was Sidney. He looked exactly like him. She knew it was improper, she knew it was forbidden but she felt enthralled and transfixed by the statute as it reminded her so much of what she saw that day on the cove when she came across Sidney accidently coming out from the sea and it reminded her of what she would miss out on. ‘No! No! No! I must not think like that! I mustn’t!’ she said to herself.

The sun was beaming down upon her and even with her bonnet on; she could feel herself becoming overcome with heat. She felt herself becoming agitated with no one but herself. She wondered where her companion had gone as she was in need of shelter in more ways than one and they had left their accommodation without a parasol. Between resurrecting memories of Sidney and the heat, Charlotte began to feel her head go light. Before she could prevent it, she felt her knees give way below and the day turn to dark. 

‘I have you. Agua per favour? Agua!’ she heard an English’s man voice throw out. She didn’t recognise the voice. It wasn’t Mr. Stratford’s but whoever he was that had caught her before she had made contact with the ground was an angel in her eyes. 

‘Oh dear! I don’t know what came over me. I do apologise.’ she flustered out. 

‘Miss are you okay? Please do not rise yourself just yet. Give yourself a moment to recover. You took quite a turn I’m afraid.’ this young gentleman of five and twenty she guessed was saying. 

With the sun over his shoulders blinding her view she could not make much of his features but she had ascertained that his grip was strong and his support was solid. He slowly brought her to her feet and put his two hands on her arms to steady her as she steadied herself. 

‘How do you feel?’ he looked at her in earnest. ‘I meant it when I said you took quite a turn. You practically fell at my feet begging me to pick you up.’ He grinned at her.

She could see him clearly now the more she reverted back to her normal self. He had deep blue eyes that could only be matched by the blueness of the sea. He had a mop of blond unruly curls that fell around his forehead and cheeks that showed he had enjoyed many hours in the sun. 

‘I can assure that it wasn’t intentional’. 

‘Oh indeed? Well then I am disappointed. I had woken up this morning quite with the intention of making a young lady faint at my feet today. I thought it was to be my mission of the day.’ He smiled at her seeking another rebuke from her. None came for Charlotte was still trying to compose herself. 

‘My name is Mr. Harlow. I am in Florence studying the great masterpieces of the Renaissance and I can see that this one in particular took your breath away. An appreciation of a fine masculine body can do that to a lady I have heard…’

Charlotte could feel her outrage at this assumption rising within her. Yes she had fainted but she was in no mood to be jested with in a manner that could accuse her of any impropriety. 

‘Sir I thank you for your assistance but I fear I must return back to my party.’ She retorted. 

‘Do you offend easily Miss?’ he asked with a sense of wickedness in his eyes. He smiled at her. 

‘For if I have offended you, I would like to make that transgression up to you if you will allow me? A pretty lady such as yourself should be guided through these streets of Florence as if she were a masterpiece herself. May I walk you back to your accommodation?’

‘You have an easy way with words Mr. Harlow.’

‘That has been said about me before. It is true. But up until now I did not know that I had such quick reflexes to catch a beautiful young lady from falling to the ground and injuring her head’.

Sensing that she was not showing enough gratitude for his intervention, she replied - ‘I thank you Mr. Harlow for assisting me. I really am very grateful. But now I really must be going. I am here with a travelling companion and I must find him.’

‘I will most certainly let you go but first you must tell me your name and where you are staying for I would like to check in on you later should I wish to let you go now… to make sure you are in better health.'

‘Ms. Heywood, Charlotte Heywood. And my party is staying in the Hotel del Roma.’

‘Would you be a member of Lady Worcester’s party?’

‘Why yes! Do you know Lady Worcester?’ 

‘Would it surprise you if I did? Please let Lady Worcester know that young Freddie Harlow will be calling on her and is looking forward to spending time with her and her entourage.’

‘Charlotte are you in good health? Someone came to find me to tell that you had fainted’ Mr Stratford called out to her running back to the place where he had left her.

‘Ms Heywood will recover well I am sure’ Mr Harlow replied to Mr Stratford. ‘Ms Heywood...’ - he looked at her with such intensity that made Charlotte crook her head with both amusement and curiosity…’I look forward to our next acquaintance’. With that, Mr. Harlow walked away leaving Charlotte’s eyes to follow his path. 

‘Who is that gentleman Charlotte?’ Mr Stratford enquired. 

‘Truly I do not know but I do believe we will find out more soon.’


	5. A Roman Holiday

Chapter Five:

Charlotte came back from her daily walk around Florence with Mr Stratford the following day to hear some jovial giggling and chatter coming from the lounge of Lady Susan’s grand apartment. 

‘Freddie you really are incorrigible! Whatever would your father say?’ 

As Charlotte entered the room, the familiar face of her saviour from the previous day stood up to greet her. 

‘Ms. Heywood’ he said bowing his head. ‘I hope I find you much better than yesterday.’

‘Yes I do Mr Harlow. Thank you.’

Charlotte looked from him to Lady Susan with an inquisitive look as if to ask the about the cordial acquaintance they seemed to share. 

‘Charlotte please let me formally introduce you to my nephew, young Master Freddie Harlow. I am absolutely delighted to have him here with us. My brother did write to me instructing me to keep an eye out for him here in Florence. In one sense, Charlotte, your fainting spell yesterday has been a blessing in disguise.’

‘Aunt! It has been many years since I stopped being called Freddie. In fact, not since I was in breeches I believe. Ms Heywood, let me formally make your acquaintance, Mr. Frederick Harlow, the youngest son of the Earl of Wormwood, and nephew to the most kindest Aunt one could have.’ - he said as he grinned his wide beaming smile over to his Aunt. 

‘Tosh!’ Lady Susan replied – ‘If it weren’t for your cute charming looks and cheeky smiles, I would never have taken such a shine to you. Really! Charlotte if I had ever been so lucky to have children, indeed I would have been most delighted if they had all been in the mould of young Freddie here.’ 

‘Frederick please Aunt, Frederick!’ – he cheekily reprimanded Lady Susan with an air of familial banter.

After this exchange, Mr Harlow turned his attention to Ms Heywood intently. 

‘You are feeling better I hope Ms. Heywood’ for a second time. 

‘Yes quite. Thank you.’ She smiled at his repetition of enquiring after her wellbeing. ‘And thank you again for your kind intervention yesterday. The heat did quite overcome me.’ 

Charlotte found his looks and build to be most charming. He had a very warm appeal as he smiled and his deep blue eyes had a certain air of mischief in them. She could sense within his eyes a man very much alive with spirit. He had broad shoulders that wore his coat well and Charlotte found herself remembering how supportive his hold of her was when she fainted, and indeed the safety of his catch when she fell to the ground. 

‘Good’ - He smiled back at her inviting her to smile back at him, an act Charlotte couldn’t prevent.

Lady Susan watched this momentary exchange looking between the two. To an experienced onlooker, she felt the air shift between them. ‘Maybe this is what Charlotte needs to move on from last summer and maybe this is what Freddie needs to settle down finally.’ she thought to herself. 

‘Freddie’ – the Aunt turned to her nephew averting his attention away from Ms. Heywood - ‘We are due to move onto Rome tomorrow. I insist you join us. Beseech us with your knowledge of all things Italian and Vatican and I will promise I will consider using your full name when I am old in years! I will not take no as an answer.’ 

‘My dear Aunt. Indeed I would dare not say no. It would be my great pleasure to accompany you’

‘Wonderful! Isn’t that simply wonderful Charlotte?’

‘Yes indeed. I hope Mr Harlow won’t be too disappointed in our lack of knowledge of these things though’

‘Ms Heywood it would be my pleasure and an honour to educate you.’ 

***

Where ever Lady Susan went, there was always an inherent showing of respect and appreciation in the world that surrounded and followed her. Charlotte was always reminded of what Lady Susan said to her at the regatta in Sanditon – ‘A social circle is like the cog of a clock. Once you set one in motion, the others are bound to follow’. When they had arrived in Rome, the Crown’s representative formally welcomed them as on arrival. It wasn’t long before Lady Susan was whipped away into a world of niceties and introductions. 

The entire entourage was to stay in one of the Crown’s own private residence. ‘What is the point of having a Special Acquaintance if they can’t offer his most trusted and admired special friend a palace to stay in on her travels’ Mr. Stratford whispered into Charlotte’s ear when they arrived. 

There was to be a ball to be held in the Embassy in Lady Susan’s honour as well. Charlotte was quite excited by this news as it was the first ball she was due to attend since they had arrived in Italy. ‘Wonderful’ she exclaimed. ‘How I have missed dancing!’ 

All the ladies were visited by one of Rome’s best dress makers and Charlotte chose a dress of pale pink with ribbons flowing from the back. The colour suited her tones very well offsetting the effect the sun was having on her face. 

‘That dress is divine on you’ Lady Susan said – ‘If not all the eligible men of Rome fall at your feet, I do call them mad!’ 

‘I am happy as I am Susan. If they were to drop at me feet, I fear that they will be disappointed by my response and may end up down there for an eternity.’ 

‘Nonsense Charlotte. You are too kind and generous to trifle with a man’s feeling I know but that doesn’t prevent you from enjoying the charms of a gentleman either. Enjoy all the smiles a gentleman gives you. Dance with as many as you desire. Don’t hold back for you are too special to be a wallflower. It doesn’t become you.’ 

The ball was a marvellous sight. Many of the beau monde who had retired to Rome were in attendance. The ballroom was awash with golden columns and statues, opulent beyond the average assembly room to be found in England. The musicians sat upon a balcony overlooking the dance floor. At the other end of the room were the gambling tables where many a man settled. Charlotte stood in awe, taking in her surroundings pinching herself as to her fortunate luck to be experiencing this. 

From behind her a voice spoke to her – 

‘Ms. Heywood, would you do me the honour of dancing your first dance with me?’ Mr Harlow asked. 

Charlotte didn’t say a word but held out her hand with Lady Susan’s words ringing in her ears. Mr Harlow led her out onto the dance floor. 

The music began as this young couple, exceedingly pleasing to the eye, took their place in a quadrille. 

Mr. Harlow bowed at the commencement of the music in the direction of Charlotte as they stood opposite each other while their adjoining couple danced through the centre. Charlotte raised her eyes to meet her partner expecting to see the beaming smile she had quickly become accustomed to but instead she was a little taken aback by the intense look he was directing at her. 

‘Sir isn’t a dance meant to be light-hearted and fun?’ she asked of him. 

‘Yes it is’ he replied.

‘Then forgive me Sir but why the frown?’ 

‘A frown?’ he replied sounding surprised - ‘No Ms Heywood I can assure nothing displeases me to make me frown. Quite the opposite. I was quite enjoying the view before me’. 

‘Oh!’ Charlotte responded quite unsure as to what the appropriate response should be. She felt quite disarmed. Gathering herself, she replied - 

‘I am to believe that Italian ladies hold a beauty that is quite seducing to artists and painters. I would not believe myself to be equal to such Italian masterpieces but you are kind with your attentions. I am flattered.’ 

As it was their turn now to dance up the centre, their conversation temporarily ceased. Once back in their places, Mr Harlow engaged Charlotte in conversation again –

‘I would normally agree with that assessment too Ms Heywood. But when one sees so much of it on a daily basis, it becomes average. It is the rediscovery of a beauty that one ran away from, a beauty that one believed to be bland and grey, which is the surprise. That rediscovery is that of a a beautiful English Rose in every sense.’ 

The music came to a conclusion. Both dancers stood facing it other, not leaving the dance floor in any sense of haste. 

Charlotte felt herself blush at his words. She bowed her head to mark the end of the dance and as she looked up, she let her eyes meet his and lingered there for a moment that was just a moment too long. Mr Harlow offered her hand and walked her off the dance floor. 

‘Thank you Ms Heywood. I hope I may have the pleasure of another dance if you allow me later this evening.’ 

Charlotte found herself unwilling, if not unable, to say no and agreed to another dance. 

The second dance was livelier and less intense which relieved some of her apprehensions. Nerves was probably not the word that she would have used to describe her sentiments in that moment but there was definitely something stirring within her which unnerved her.

As she went to bed that night, tired and contented, she lay on her bed staring up at the ceiling and revisited all the happy memories from the evening; her mind though always seeming to settle upon Mr. Harlow. She recognised a familiar feeling within herself that she had not felt since Sanditon last summer. She no longer used His name and had become very comfortable in referring to the whole experience as ‘Sanditon’ in her head. As the moon shone over Roman temples and amphitheatres, Charlotte denied and fought against that familiar feeling that kept rising to the surface. Her heart was not for taking she promised herself but she had to be truthful, she did enjoy Mr. Harlow’s company and attentions. So as she fell asleep, she did so with a heart that was keen for the next day to start. This was definitely a feeling Charlotte had missed over the last few months and the sparkle began to appear in Charlotte’s life once more.

‘Truly dancing is a most wonderful thing’.


	6. A Journey Ends

Chapter Six:

In Rome, Ms. Heywood, Lady Susan, Mr. Harlow and Mr. Stratford headed to the Vatican Museum and to the renowned Sistine Chapel one morning. Their plans were to stay a month in Rome and so far, their first few days had proven Mr. Harlow an exceptional and knowledgeable guide. As spring turned into summer, the sun brought out the best of Rome and its surroundings. The sun was also proving to be Ms. Heywood’s mortal enemy as the heat at times she found to be to overbearing. However, that didn’t deter her from seeing as much of the city as she could, taking in all its sounds and quirky personalities. So long as she remembered her parasol and didn’t stay too long out in the sun, she knew how to conquer the summer sunshine as much as the heat. 

Mr. Harlow attentively watched for another fainting fit he joked with the group and announced that should Ms Heywood feel the need to enjoy a sojourn on the ground accidentally, he would offer himself up as her first responder. So when he could, he held Ms. Heywood’s parasol ensuring that she was shielded by the sun. He found her glasses of water whenever possible without any prompting or requesting by Ms. Heywood. He attached himself to her service to avoid another repeat performance and it had to be noted that he did so in a manner that showed a distinct fondness for the young lady in question.

Charlotte was quite enamoured by this. She jested with him as to how much he was becoming her servant and if he wasn’t careful she may mistake him for an actual servant one day.

In truth, Charlotte and the young Frederick Harlow had hit it off tremendously finding themselves sharing a lot of similar views on many things. More than that, Charlotte found herself smiling a lot in his company. 

They were however never to be left alone. Lady Susan ensured that all propriety must be adhered to. If someone were to listen into her conversations with Mr. Stratford, they would hear that she was keen for this friendship to blossom, and should it progress further, there could be no question on the foundations of its courtship – ‘Which let’s be frank’ - she said to Mr. Stratford ‘we are in a foreign country and it would easy to forget that for these young people, one of which is extremely well connected, would be the centre of idle gossip should something untoward occur.’ 

***

The group left the Vatican Museum in true awe of its stature and history. Albeit a different religion to her own, Charlotte was immune to its importance. Mr. Harlow talked them all through the sights with great enthusiasm and when all was said and done, she could not have imagined a more perfect guide to satisfy her interest. She found herself on many occasions dropping away from the party distracted by some treasure. She struggled to pull her eyes away from one thing only then to be distracted by another fine work of art. Mr. Stratford was equally in awe of the artifacts on show. She found it so rewarding to be sharing this experience with people of similar minds. This was definitely a memory that she would share with her father when she wrote next. 

Mr. Harlow proceeded to show them around the Sistine Chapel where Charlotte stood in the middle taking in the scene around her and above her. As she looked up, feeling her neck strain, Mr Harlow came over to her.

‘You know Ms. Heywood, there is another way of looking at all of this without stretching one’s neck and making one’s head go light.’ he said.

‘Oh?’

‘Yes. Here follow me.’ – he went to lie down on the ground. 

‘Sir what are you doing? Get up! People are looking’

‘Let them. Come Charlotte’ he said up to her as he leaned up onto his elbow and reached out his other hand to help her come down on the floor beside him. 

Charlotte looked around her unsure. 

‘Come’ he said.

She took his hand and lay down next to him. They looked up at the ceiling and he began to explain all that was above them. She listened and looked intently and she did have to confess that it was much easier to take it all in from this angle.

‘You see Charlotte. I will never take you somewhere that’s not worth going’ he said looking at her from the side. She turned her own head to meet his eyes and for a moment, the world may have melted around them but they would never have known. 

‘What on earth are you doing down there?’ Lady Susan interrupted them. 

‘Join us Aunt. We are looking up at the ceiling. It’s much more comfortable to do so from down here’.

‘Indeed I will not. I fear I may never get back up!’ she smiled back down at her nephew. ‘Now come. It’s time we moved on.’ 

Mr. Harlow stood up first and put his hand out for Charlotte to hold as she peeled herself up off the floor. 

‘Thank you Mr. Harlow’ and they followed behind Lady Susan and Mr. Stratford in silence. 

***

On another day, they were in deep conversation about all things deep and serious the issue of wealth being one of them. 

‘Mr. Harlow may I ask? What do you think you would be doing if you hadn’t been born into such an easy life?’

‘An easy life you say? You think this an easy life? The third son of an Earl who’s only responsibility in life is never to bring the family name into disrepute. No title, no purpose, no land. Not even the spare. Nothing! No one really caring about what one does so as long as the family is not sullied. This is indeed truly how to make a man out of a boy!’ he proffered philosophically. 

‘Indeed! I do Sir!’ she replied. ‘Surely you cannot be blind to those unlucky souls who have not had that luck of fortune to be born into the right family at the right time. If your problem is one of purpose, that is easy to fix. You decide upon one and act on it.’

She continued – ‘For those other unfortunate souls with no choices, their situation remains as is. The lucky pray for a generous landlord and a piece of luck to support them but many give up and accept their fate.’ 

‘I have a friend. His name is Mr. James Stringer. He comes of no particular stock but he plans to be an architect. He is working hard to raise himself beyond his station, not just because he wants to better himself, but rather because he has a talent. He will break down barriers to achieve his goals. I am very proud to call him my friend and I know he will do very well in life.’

‘I think it’s a case of either accepting your lot or push yourself to find your own opportunities. I am believer in the latter.’

Mr. Harlow retorted – ‘You don’t approve of my way of life?’

‘I have no strong objection to your way of life. I wonder though if you have truly taken advantage of the opportunities that it has offered up for you to further your own life. I ask ‘what happens next for Mr. Harlow?’ Do you know?’

‘I head back to Florence of course.’

‘No! I mean in life. You have spent so much time in this environment, in this country. What have you learned from it and what will you do with those learnings?’ 

‘I fear you are scolding me Ms. Heywood. Do you judge me for my family, for my connections, for being born with a silver spoon in my mouth for there is little I can do about that?’

‘Hardly’ she replied – ‘For I am a Gentleman’s daughter, granted not from such a well-connected background as your own, but still, my father owns a small country estate that has tenants and overheads. Many families depend as well as our village depend on the success of our estate. I am one of 14 children with several brothers. We have wealth enough to protect our futures. If I were to judge you on those terms I would be judging my own family.’

‘But what we do have is a work ethic. We are not shy of getting involved and making ourselves of some use.’

‘By the sound of it, Ms. Heywood, I suppose your father would not like me.’

‘Hmmmm. He would in time I’m sure’ she jested with him. 

‘My father is a steady, loving and honest man. He does not take fools likely. He taught us to be strong and independent of mind…’

‘I can tell….’

‘Independent of mind but when one goes to bed at night, make sure you do so with the knowledge that you made the most of the day. Leave no stone unturned.’

‘And what do you suggest I do Ms. Heywood since we are speaking so honestly?’ 

‘That Sir I cannot say. It’s not for someone else to tell you. That’s something one has to decide for oneself. ‘ 

‘Has anyone ever told you that you are …?’

‘Headstrong and opinionated? Yes I am afraid so. It is something that I am trying to work on.’

‘No not that. You are not like other young ladies indeed. I can see why my Aunt values your company. I will miss you when you leave. I have enjoyed our time and conversations immensely. Could I ask? Could I ask that you allow me to write to you when you return? I fear that I may need more of your sound advice if you will oblige me?’

‘I would like that very much’. 

***

As they packed up their belongings and loaded up their carriages, Ms. Heywood said goodbye to her time in Italy. She had been away for almost four months now and as time had moved on, she thought less and less of affairs at home. She had written home regularly but was looking forward to getting back to her family. As her carriage moved off and weeks of travelling lay ahead, she didn’t recall the uncomfortableness of the journey here, instead she remembered the memories since then, and she left smiling out the window. 

When they arrived back in London, Charlotte and Mr. Stratford were due to stay on with Lady Susan for several days to recover from the journey and recuperate before beginning their respective journeys home. It wasn’t long after they walked through Lady Susan’s front door that an invite was received to a ball. As they sipped tea in her lounge, Lady Susan enquired of them –

‘What do you say my friends? Shall we announce our return to society this evening?’

‘Oh yes let’s!’ replied Mr. Stratford. ‘I think, Susan, that this would be an excellent opportunity to formally introduce our young friend here to London society.’ 

‘Mr. Stratford you are too kind but please do not feel obliged. I am sure London life will survive without me should either of you be tired from the journey.’

‘No! That’s that decided Susan. We shall go to the ball, and Charlotte, do wear that pink dress you wore in the Embassy in Rome. It truly became you.’ 

Their carriage pulled up outside the house. They walked into a busy and noisy atmosphere, and for when they were announced, a hush descended on the room. – ‘Lady Worcester, Mr. Stratford and Ms. Heywood’ bellowed out. All eyes descended on Lady Susan who had been greatly missed in her absence and her return marked a great talking point for the beau monde. 

For Charlotte, all eyes descended in their direction and there was no escaping it. Lady Susan stood at the front of her group with Mr. Stratford slightly behind on her left shoulder and Charlotte was on her right shoulder. She did hope she looked the part. Almost immediately, Lady Susan was besieged upon by other guests who wanted to enquire after her travels. Charlotte was left to her own thoughts and she took in the scene before her. Gaming tables were over to her right; the dining area beyond and over to her left was the dance floor. There was a lot of chatter and laughter from the many guests in attendance and just barely audible above that din played the musicians. It was truly engrossing.

And then, in a moment, her heart stopped. She gasped! She had seen a ghost. 

There standing in a corner, looking over at her, were a pair of dark eyes she had not seen for the best part of a year. There before her he stood. There. In the same room as her. Here. Mr. Parker.


	7. A Second Fainting Spell

Chapter Seven:

Her eyes were transfixed. ‘Could it be?’ she wondered to herself. ‘It couldn’t possibly!’ she concurred half in shock, the other half in confusion. His eyes set a course on hers in equal measure with a look that an outsider would also see his own shock. 

‘Miss Heywood’- the words were seeping into her reverie with those eyes. ‘Miss Heywood?’ She turned her head in the direction in which her name was being spoken. 

‘Mr. Harlow’ she nonchalantly said. Within a second she realised who was standing before her bringing her head back into the room. ‘Mr Harlow? You are here? I don’t understand…’ her voice trailed off. 'How was he here?' she was asking herself. How was her here right now when she had just set eyes on that certain someone whose name she could bring herself to verbally think in her head. ‘No they cannot possibly be here in the same room. This is too much.’ Her thoughts whirled around her head. 

‘I overtook you while you were staying in Paris.’

‘Forgive me Sir but you never said that you were coming back home when we left you in Florence on our way back? I am just a little surprised to find you here.’

‘I can tell. I hope it is a pleasant surprise to find me here.’

‘Of course. Forgive me. I am just surprised. What brings you back?’

‘Oh I don’t know. Possibly because of something a young lady said to me in Rome about what my next steps would be. It left me pondering or rather it forced me into thinking about such things.'

‘Sir I did not think for one moment that you would act so hastily on the basis of my few words.’

‘Indeed not. They were words I needed to hear and I suppose it helped me focus on what I really want to do. But enough of that for the moment. I will fill you on more details later. In the meantime, may I introduce you to my father? As you can see, my Aunt is already in conversation with him. I would be very honoured if you allowed me to make your introductions to him.’ 

Charlotte bowed her head in agreement. She was not in a position to decline and as Mr. Harlow walked her over to the small group Lady Susan and her brother were gathered around; Charlotte searched the room for those eyes she had earlier spotted. She couldn’t find them in the crowd. ‘Maybe it was just my imagination’ she figured to herself. ‘Yes I must have gotten it wrong. He is not here.’ 

‘Father May I introduce Miss Charlotte Heywood to you’ Mr. Harlow said to his father. 

‘Yes brother this is my dear friend, Charlotte. She is a true treasure.’ Lady Susan added.

‘Please. You are too kind.’ Charlotte replied. 

‘Ah Miss Heywood. It appears I have you to thank for the return of my son. He has been missed but he informs me that your wise words sobered him up. You must tell me what your magic formula is as it never worked for me.’ – The older Mr. Harlow said. 

‘Your son does exaggerate. If he found his way home, it is because he wanted to. Not due to anything I said.’ Charlotte replied. 

The music was ending a set and the band were calling dancers back for the floor for another dance. 

‘Miss Heywood would you do me the honour of dancing a set with me?’ the younger Mr. Harlow asked. 

Charlotte could hardly say no in this company so she nodded in agreement and placed her hand on Mr. Harlow as they made their way out to the dance floor. 

The older Mr. Harlow turned to his sister and said – ‘So this is the young lady I have heard a lot about. Tell me Sister. Is she a keeper or another one of my son’s fancies?’ 

‘She is a keeper and from what I have seen so far, he seems very smitten. Charlotte is a sensible, young lady. Her head is not easily turned by fanciful so she would steady him.’ 

‘And what about her connections?’ 

‘Her father owns a small estate in the country. They seem to be good people from what I have heard. Very earthly. I get the impression that Freddie wouldn’t be just able to turn up and charm his way into her parents’ affections. He will have to work for her if he wants to win her.’ Lady Susan said passing on her observations to her brother. 

‘Interesting’ the older Mr. Harlow replied watching them head out onto the dance floor. 

***

Ms. Heywood and Mr. Harlow took their positions on the floor. It was a waltz so it was just the two of them in the dance. The music began and Mr. Harlow glided her around the floor with much ease. He gave her his full attention, his eyes and face smiling throughout. 

‘Miss Heywood I don’t recall you ever been this quiet in Italy. What is on your mind?’ 

‘Forgive me. I am still a little confused as to how you have come about to be here. It has taken me by surprise. That is all. And to meet your father. Truly I am honoured. You have shown me a great compliment.’

‘Indeed I have not. Why wouldn’t I introduce the very lady who has ….’ Mr Harlow leaving that sentence unfinished. ‘Can you really not figure out why I am here?’ 

‘I am sorry. I cannot.’ 

Mr. Harlow slowed their dancing down so as he could resume their conversation with less haste leaving him able to pay all his attentions on Miss Heywood. Quietly and sincerely, he spoke to her – 

‘I am here because of you. What you said to me about what I am doing with my life. You were very right. It is time that I make something more of it and not take it for granted. I came back with two intentions. My first intention was to speak to my father about the formation of an art importing business I am keen to set up and my second intention…’ he paused, took a breath before continuing – ‘… my second intention was to follow you. Miss Heywood. I have never met anyone like you….’

Charlotte’s thoughts were beginning to clear with realisation – ‘He is not going to declare himself is he?’

‘…Miss Heywood. I know you think that I am a rich boy with an easy life. For shame, I admit that you are right but I would like to prove to you that I am more than that….’

‘No! No! No!’ Charlotte’s head was pleading. 

‘…I know that to many young ladies, as one would now find me, many would easily say yes to a proposal of some sort from me but you are not any young lady. I would like to earn my way to your heart…’

‘This cannot be happening!’ Charlotte thought to herself. 

‘So I would like to ask you if you would do me the honour of agreeing to a formal courtship with the promise from myself that I will become the man you deserve and to ask for your hand in marriage. I know I am not ready yet I realise but I will be one day and I would rather do that with you in my life than not at all…’

Charlotte stepped out of hold from him. She was shaking her head. ‘This was too much’ she was thinking to herself. ‘Too much. I can’t think.’ She felt the room getting warmer and her head began to spin. She struggled to catch her breath. ‘I don’t want this’ the voice in head was saying. Her heart began thumping so fast and before she knew, the room had darkened and she was falling to the ground. 

***  
‘Charlotte!’ 

‘Miss Heywood. I have you.’ A familiar deep voice was calling her. 

She opened her eyes to find the faces of two men peering over her. One was the gentleman who she was just seconds ago dancing with; and the other were those same dark eyes she could recall from memory. 

‘Mr. Parker? Where did you come from?’ Charlotte asked confusedly. As she lay there, she took in she was being held in the arms of Mr. Parker and not Mr. Harlow but she couldn’t figure out how that came about. It felt good. ‘Please may I get up?’ Mr. Parker offered to help lift her up from the floor. Mr. Harlow on the other side was equally trying to do the same. 

‘I thank you Sir but her friends have her now’ – Mr. Parker insisted upon Mr. Harlow and before Charlotte had a chance to refuse, Mr. Parker was leading her out to a side room. 

Charlotte could make out Lady Babington heading in her direction and Mr. Parker barked out an order to her telling her to get Miss Heywood a glass of water. 

Mr. Harlow was left behind in the commotion. One minute he was declaring himself to Miss Heywood, the next he was suddenly finding himself out in the cold by strangers who had just gobbled up his partner and had kidnapped her away. How this said gentleman had managed to be by Miss Heywood’s side in a matter of seconds of her collapsing to the floor when he himself was standing right next to her. ‘Who was this man and what is he to do with Miss Heywood?!’ he needed to know. 

***

Mr. Parker found a chair for Charlotte to sit on. He bent down to be at the same level of her. He reached for her hands and held them in his. 

‘Miss Heywood, are you okay? You took a bit of a fall back there’ Sidney spoke gently and with concern in his voice. 

‘Yes I am fine. Please. I am fine.’ She replied pulling back her hands and not raising her eyes to meet his. She may just burst into tears if she did. Sidney could not fail to notice her reticence and stood up. He put his hand up to the side of her head and left it there. Quietly he said ‘Charlotte...’

Before that sentence could go any further, Esther arrived with a glass of water and in hushed tones said to him ‘Sidney you must let her go. This is not the place.’ At which Sidney dropped his hand and released Charlotte from his hold. 

A tear dropped from Charlotte’s eye for the feel of his hands on her, it was …. warm, tender, soft and strong all at once; and more importantly, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. She darn’t raise her eyes up. It would be too hard so she kept her head low. 

In through the door swept in Lady Susan – ‘My dear! Are you okay? Freddie told me that you had fainted again. Let me take a look at you.’

As she spoke, Sidney made to move back. Esther pulled at his arm directing him to leave. She herself stayed. As Sidney walked out the door, Mr. Harlow stood momentarily in the doorway blocking his exit out. Mr. Harlow eyeballed Sidney. Sidney paused by the door waiting for Mr. Harlow to make room for him to leave and the two gentlemen had a momentary stand off each aware that there was a sudden dislike for the other without fully knowing but suspicious of the cause of their disdain. 

‘I am fine really.’ Charlotte reassured them ‘I just felt a little warm. I suspect it is to do with the travel and the journey. I find myself feeling quite tired. I think it would be a good idea if I were to head home if you don’t mind, Susan?'

‘No of course not if that is what you want to do?’

‘Yes it is’

‘Freddie?’

‘Aunt?’

‘Go and call for the carriage. Miss Heywood is heading home for the night. We seemed to have burnt Miss Heywood’s candle at both ends’ 

Mr. Harlow and Lady Susan saw Charlotte off and once the carriage had moved off, Mr. Harlow enquired of his aunt as to who was the gentleman that had intervened. ‘He is no one for you to be bothered about’ in a reassuring tone. He did not feel reassured at all.

***

The following morning, Charlotte awoke refreshed and decided to take a lengthy walk after breakfast with Mr. Stratford. She was in need of occupying herself as much as possible before her journey home the following day. She had it in her mind that once she could be at home, she could put all thoughts of Sidney Parker and Frederick Harlow out of her mind. She just needed to keep busy. 

She hadn’t been gone long when the door of Lady Susan’s house was opened to a visitor. She welcomed him into her lounge – 

‘Mr. Parker. As to what do we owe the pleasure?’ she asked knowing quite well the purpose of his visit. He was keen to visit Charlotte. And Lady Susan was by no means surprised by his appearance on her doorstep.

‘I was hoping that I might be able to speak with Miss Heywood if she is available?’ he asked. 

‘I am afraid you have missed her. She is not long gone on a walk and I don’t expect her back for a while. Can I pass on a message?’ 

Sidney looked a little down hearted in his features Lady Susan thought. 

‘I wasn’t aware, or rather my family…’ Sidney checked himself – ‘We were not aware that Miss Heywood was back in the country or we would have sent an invite to the Sanditon Regatta as our special guest. And I wished to rectify that. After all, the regatta was Miss Heywood’s idea. It would seem unnatural for her not to be there. We would all be very pleased if she were to come back to us for a few days. I, of course, extend the invitation to you Lady Susan and to anyone of your close circle who would like to come.’

‘Why thank you Mr. Parker. I will most certainly consider your invite and I will ensure I mention your invitation to Miss Heywood. Where should she respond to?’ 

‘Miss Heywood can send word to Bedford Place. She is already familiar with the address.’ 

'Bedford Place indeed', Lady Susan thought to herself, the London home of the Parker family, not the home he shares with his wife. 

‘So tell me Mr. Parker, I remember you saying last year that you were no expert on marriage. I believe belated congratulations are in order. How are you finding marriage now?’ 

Sidney let his eyes drop. He hadn’t come here for a lecture or a reminder of his obligations. He had come to see Charlotte. Tersely he replied – ‘I am indeed still no expert. A novice at best.’ 

He bid his adieus to Lady Susan and walked out of the house quite annoyed. He was leaving without the prize he was seeking, a few more moments with Charlotte. As he strode purposely away, another gentleman was walking towards him. The same gentleman he had seen showing a distinct interest in Charlotte. As they passed each other, they both looked at each other again with an air of hostility between them. 

Mr. Harlow went directly to his aunt when he walked in the door. ‘Aunt really! Who was that gentleman from last night? I have just seen him leave and please don’t tell me that he is no one. A blind person can see that he has some connection with Miss Heywood.’ 

‘Freddie I told you last night. He is no one to be concerned with. That was Mr. Sidney Parker of the Parkers of Sanditon. Miss Heywood stayed with this brother and his wife last summer. In fact, it was Miss Heywood who came up with the marvellous idea of the regatta. He wasn’t aware that Miss Heywood was back in the country and came to invite her, us all, to the regatta. That is all.’ 

Mr. Harlow considered this for a moment. 

‘If that is all, why do I feel like there is a fox in my hen house!’


	8. A Series of Letters

Chapter Eight:

_Dear Mr. Parker, _

_Many thanks for your kind invitation to the Sanditon Regatta this summer. _

_I am due to return home to Willingden after my travels abroad and I fear my family would be reluctant to release me again. Please accept my apologies that I will be unable to attend. I do hope it continues to be a success. _

_Please pass on my regards to your wife and extended family. _

_Yours sincerely, _

_Miss C. Heywood _

***

_Charlotte my dear, _

_It was with great disappointment that Sidney informs me that you will be unable to join us for the upcoming Sanditon Regatta. We, including the children, and may I also add Sidney, were all so looking forward to seeing you again. I am so keen to hear more of your adventures in Italy. I understand that there is a young gentleman suitor in your pursuit? News does travel. You are so deserving of a compassionate partner who will love and cherish you. _

_We really would not be in a position to host another regatta this year if it were not for your invaluable contribution last summer. For sure, we owe you so much I am so very consciously aware. In fact, not only was I personally looking forward to your friendship again but I fear I may be overwhelmed by all the details and organisation for this year’s regatta. Your contribution would be invaluable. I would ask my new sister-in-law but she is more keen on entertaining our visitors rather than the logistics of the event itself. One can scarcely believe that it is almost a year since the night of that dreadful fire, and while it appears little has changed, so much has. In truth containing my dear husband’s enthusiasm for the project along with my sister-in-law’s sole interest in the financial progress of Sanditon, if it were not for Sidney’s stability and dedication to the rebuilding of Sanditon, I do not know where we would be. He has proven a real saint. _

_My dear Charlotte, please I do pray that you consider your decision to join us as our special guest at the regatta. We have planned a surprise for you but it will be a failure should you not be here in person to enjoy it. I wish not to give too much away for it would not be a surprise. I cannot say more than that but come visit us. I beg you. _

_Your dearest Sanditon friend, _

_Mary _

***

_Charlotte, _

_What is this I hear about you not returning to Sanditon for the regatta. Truly that will not do! When my infuriating guardian told me not to hold any expectation of a visit from one of my truest friends, I suspected that it was as a result of something he had done. I understand that your paths crossed in London? Nothing good could surely have come out of it knowing him. His eagerness in lobbying me to write to you asking me to convince you to return was of a man who had done wrong and wanted to make amends I am sure. _

_I will admit that I have a selfish interest in you coming here irrespectively. Who else would my guardian release me to to aid my escape of the confines of Mrs. Griffiths. For sure, Arthur Parker has promised that he will attend on me but again he would need to escape his own imprisoner, his sister! _

_Please Charlotte change your mind and come. We miss you here in Sanditon. If this will not convince you, it appears that Lady Denham is gravely ill again and you should some and bid your farewell again before it is too late. _

_Your friend, _

_Georgiana _

***

_Miss Heywood, _

_It has been two weeks since I saw you last and I am in dreadful need of your cheery deposition and wonderful smile. You realise that since we first met almost two months ago this is the longest that we have been apart. Your absence in my life is making me surprisingly anxious. I add that to the list of new and welcomed sentiments and experiences I have in my life now since our first meeting. Who knew my own stay in Florence would end as such. Fate can be a surprising friend. _

_What news have I since I last set eyes on you… well it appears all of London society is undertaking a journey to a place I believe you are familiar with, a town called Sanditon in Sussex? There is to be a regatta which my Aunt informs me you had a significant part in hosting and making a success last year. I am sure that you were a formidable organiser, and knowing you as I do now, without your input this year, the Sanditon Regatta could but be only half a success this year without your involvement. _

_My Aunt has accepted an invitation to attend again. She has been given a special task from the Palace to undertake a sort of reconnaissance mission for the Prince Regent and has been charged to come back to him with a recommendation as to whether he should give due consideration in attending next year. I have unashamedly taken a place in her carriage without her permission to also attend. I am very aware that I risk pushing my boundaries with my dear Aunt but when I convinced her to travel past Willingden to collect you, she was ever more agreeable to my company. _

_So you see you have no reason not to attend the regatta now. We will provide transport and the company, and for sure, you will be of immense assistance to my Aunt in providing a recommendation for the Prince Regent. A visit from the Prince Regent to Sanditon would be a great tribute to the work you began last year. I will not take a refusal as an answer. _

_We aim to be in Willlingden by midday the day prior to the regatta and could I assume that your parents could lay on some lunch while we break and load up your luggage? _

_Miss Heywood I do so look forward to seeing you again. The regatta cannot come too soon! _

_In highest regards, _

_Mr. Frederick Harlow _

***

_My dear child, _

_If you never speak to me again, I would completely understand. I suspect that you have received a correspondence from my nephew by now in relation to the Sanditon Regatta. I do so apologise for the imposition it will put upon you and it was never my intention to do but he is impossible to refuse when he has the bit between his teeth. _

_I am trying to come up with some excuse that will release you from this. Suffice to say that my nephew is unaware of events from last year and that should remain so. I do not wish to pry further into your feelings now as it is not something you have brought up with me in quite a while either. I would feel more than happy to explain your absence to him and to your friends in Sanditon. Offer me an instruction and I will deliver. _

_Yours, _

_Susan_

***

_Miss Heywood, _

_It has been with great pleasure to hear of your travels around Italy, in particular those mentions and insights you offered on Italian architecture. One day I do hope that I may get to see some of it with my own eyes. I feel that I would really enjoy those great Renaissance buildings you brought to life in your letters. I had hoped that we could have a substantial conversation on this at the Sanditon Regatta but I have heard that you will not be attending this year. _

_I am unsure as to why everyone expected you to be here but it turns out that we all made an assumption and we have greatly disappointed ourselves in the process. I will be honest with you. I am nervous about the regatta, not of the event itself but what lies behind it. It will be one year since my father passed in the fire. I will never be able to separate the regatta from the fire. I have buried my grief in the rebuild of the town. It kept me focused away from what I lost and from what I regretted. Time is a slow healer and even now when I think about pursuing other opportunities in architecture, the guilt chases me in my sleep. I do not think that I shall ever be able to forgive myself for those last few words of anger to my father. Equally I do not want to be mauddling either and held back by the past. And so begins the circles my brain endures at the moment. I cannot lie. I was looking forward to some of your refreshing common sense to help. _

_I am aware that I have kept my news and my feelings about Sanditon to myself in our correspondence. I was unsure given your feelings for Mr. Sidney Parker last year whether you wanted to know much or nothing at all. I did not want to make you suffer any more than you seemed to be when we parted. But in the course of my own grief, I admit that I have thought very ill of Sidney Parker for abandoning you in favour of another. However, I have learnt subsequently that it was Mr Sidney Parker who saved the future of Sanditon at a cost to you and to himself. I am afraid to report that Mr. Sidney has spent many nights in the local hostelry going down a dark road. On one occasion when Mrs. Mary Parker asked me to check on his person, I found him in quite some state. He admitted his feelings for you to me claiming that he had committed himself to a slavery of sorts by agreeing to get married to another. When I asked why for if he had such strong feelings for you, why did he agree to marry another, he replied family obligations and the survival of Sanditon. He would not go any further than that. I suspect you are more familiar with these familiarities than anyone given your closeness with the Parker family. _

_But should it give you comfort, I can guess the reason to which he referred. Mr. Sidney is now the man in charge of the Sanditon project leaving Mr. Tom as the mere face and salesman of it. Mr. Tom plays no substantial part in the financial planning of the project, and given the outcomes of last summer, that does make a lot of sense. One can only assume that Mr. Tom is a poor financial manager and Mr. Sidney is the better. One thing though for sure I can tell you is that the Parker family still hold you in their highest regard and have named a terrace in your honour – Heywood Terrace. They are hoping to surprise you with it when you are next here, if ever. Mr. Sidney has in fact taken a house on it with a grand view overlooking an isolated cove down the cliff walk. I have no doubt that he has done so with you in mind. For if he wanted to forget you, this would not be a manner of doing so. _

_I do not know if I am making a correct or an incorrect assumption in telling you this but I report what I see. _

_I find it hard to not accept that the night of the fire cost more than just me losing my only remaining family, I fear it may have also inflicted disappointment and derision to someone I have come to respect. If only, Miss Charlotte, we had known what fate had in store for us that evening, we may have chosen a different course of action. But we cannot undo what has been done. We must make the most of it. Or so I am trying to tell myself. _

_I am sorry for this longer letter than usual. There are not many people who I can confide with and when the people of Sanditon look at the town as it is, they no longer see the fire, they see a confident progressive place to entice visitors to. They do not see the pain behind its success. If in any way you can see yourself back here again, please do come back for this regatta. I promise you that I will not let any bad memories from the past cross your path and will be your dedicated servant throughout. We shall stay focused on the future and the opportunities it may bring. _

_Please come back. _

_Yours, _

_Mr. J. Stringer_


	9. A Day at the Sanditon Regatta

Chapter Nine:

Sanditon came into sight as Lady Susan’s carriage rolled along the cliffland road. It was the smell of the sea that hit Charlotte first along with a hint of excitement that she felt similar to the first time she travelled to Sanditon; although this time she considered her anxiety to be more to with what the next few days would bring as opposed to her initial openness to all things new the first time around. 

Mr. Harlow made a charming impression on her family when the carriage arrived in Willingden. She could see her father warming to the young man. Charlotte watched them quietly from the side and had to admit herself that she was impressed that Mr. Harlow came armed with topics on farming to engage her father. Charlotte’s full attention though lay with a surprise visitor in the group – Mr. Stratford! 

‘Charlotte my dear, Susan indicated that you may need a little moral support on this trip and I couldn’t let my young friend feel unsupported by those who love her. And don’t worry! Susan didn’t go into the details but can I hazard a guess that the gentleman who you believed you had a future with will be at the regatta?’ winking at her leading her to the carriage. 

Charlotte was sitting next to the window and when she knew they were within walking distance of Sanditon, she asked for the carriage to stop so she could get out and walk the last part. 

‘Miss Heywood, are you sure? I will join you’ said Mr. Harlow bouncing out of the carriage after her. 

‘Please. There is no need. I just want to stretch my legs. My legs are feeling numb from the journey. There is no need to hold up your journey any longer. But Mr. Harlow if you wouldn’t mind, could I ask you to oversee the delivery of my luggage to Trafalgar House please? That’s the home of my good friend, Mary Parker, wife of Mr. Tom Parker, the visionary behind Sanditon.’ Charlotte asked craving some quiet time to herself before she formally arrived back into Sanditon. 

‘Yes I will if you insist’ he replied bowing his head in acknowledgement. ‘I hope to call on you later if that is agreeable?’

‘Yes please do’

And with that the carriage pulled off leaving Charlotte by herself. She turned to look out on the see and began her walk along the cliff walk before making her way down to the beach where upon she stopped by the seashore, took in a deep breath, reached up and undid the pins in her hair to let it fall down to her shoulders. For the first time in months, Charlotte was alone and felt a very pleasing sense of freedom. She took in her surroundings taking in the sights of the shoreline and the headlands. Was it really a year here in this spot that her whole world changed? Everything looked exactly the same but so much had. Slowly she made her way into Sanditon with her bonnet in one hand her other arm relaxing swinging. Whatever the next few days would bring, Charlotte felt that she could never regret or begrudge the contentment she felt here in Sanditon. 

‘Oh Charlotte! You are here!’ Mary exclaimed. ‘Tom! Children! Come look who is here!’ as Charlotte was warmly welcomed back to Trafalgar House with many hugs and love. ‘It is so good to have you back’ Tom said. ‘Come Mary! Let’s get a fine bottle of wine out of the cellar. This calls for a celebration!’. It was hard for Charlotte not to get caught up with their happiness on receiving her. She was to stay in her ‘Her Room’ as Mary called in which on walking into it felt very familiar. If she had known nothing different, it was as if she had never left at all. 

Sanditon was a hive of activity. Carriage after carriage rolled up where the Beau Monde descended in their floods. Lady Susan and her friends had taken apartments for the week with some of the best views overlooking the beach. Sanditon, Charlotte had noticed, had been rebuilt the same if not better than before the night of the fire. However, she was reluctant to walk down Heywood Terrace. That was one just one step too soon for the day in question. 

She dined with the Parkers that evening including Arthur and Diana. Georgiana also joined them to make it feel more of a family affair. It was a thoroughly enjoyable evening. Mr. Harlow called on her for a short while before dinner to the delight of both Mary and Georgiana who were both very curious to meet the gentleman who they had heard a lot off from various other people than Charlotte herself. On that front, she had always remained quite private. Entertainingly for Charlotte, she did feel a slight delight in feeling the need to rescue him from their enquiries and when he bid her adieu before dinner, he took one of her hands and placed a gentle kiss on it. ‘I have missed you Miss Heywood’. 

The one person missing from all of this was one Mr. Sidney Parker. Mary had informed her that he was due in the morning with his wife. ‘I am sorry that he’s not here to welcome you himself. He was ever so keen to ensure that you enjoyed your time here in Sanditon. He did ask me though to pass you a note which I have left in your room for you….’ and there Mary let the sentence trail off. It lay next to a beautiful posy of fresh lavender flowers on the water table. It read: 

‘Dear Miss Heywood, 

I cannot thank you enough for returning back to Sanditon for the regatta. This was always your venture, your idea. My family owe you so much for making it happen last year and I am delighted that we shall be able to place you at the centre of our attentions and appreciations this year. You are our very considered special guest. Please accept these flowers as a token of our gratitude. 

Yours, 

S. Parker’ 

***

The morning of the regatta arrived and the Parker house was in mayhem. Tom was calling out to Mary constantly asking if this had been done and that, at time repeating the question again. Mary chased after him trying to answer all his questions while simultaneously keeping the children in check; they were running throughout the house loving every moment of the excitement of the regatta. They had worked hard on a plan to win the sandcastle competition this year and they were determined to win it. All they needed was their Uncle Sidney to help build it. 

Charlotte had breakfast with Lady Susan, Mr. Stratford and Mr. Harlow and quietly admitted to herself that she was glad of an excuse to get out from under the feet of the Parkers as much as she adored them. She had slept surprisingly well the night before so she felt well rested and ready to take on the day. It was a beautiful sunny day so rather than focus on the past; she decided to enjoy the day as it fell, whatever may fall. 

Lady Susan asked her to give her a private tour of Sanditon so after breakfast, Charlotte took them all to her favourite places – the beach, the sea bathing machines, the river walk, the assembly rooms, introductions to some of the local shopkeepers, even the cliff walk. When they had a vantage of the cliff road into Sanditon, they could all see carriages arriving one after another. One of which she recognised as bearing the familiar Parker seal. She was grateful that they were far enough away not to be spotted. Mr. Harlow was not quite so lucky as another carriage came arriving in with the Harlow crest. It was his father, the Earl of Wormwood, who when Young Frederick enquired as to his arrival in Sanditon, his father replied that he wanted to surprise him by spending time with his son he had not seen much of over the last year. ‘Plus I was hoping that Miss Heywood and myself could become better acquainted’ he said smiling reassuringly over to Charlotte. ‘Yes Freddie you assume right! I am going to tell Miss Heywood about all those naughty things you use to get up to as a boy!’ 

As the day progressed, the entourage made it over to the starting point of the regatta. Multiple tents had been erected, more than the year previously. The entire Beau Monde had arrived. Charlotte had yet to spot Sidney. As much as she was trying to convince herself she was not seeking him out, her eyes were constantly scanning the event for those dark eyes but so far to no avail. 

Mr. Stringer, as he was now called, merrily greeted Charlotte with all the good graciousness a true friend would. Charlotte introduced him in return to her new friends. Mr. Harlow and Mr. Stringer found common ground quite quickly on Italian architecture and Charlotte left them to their own devices as Mr. Tom called her away. It was at this juncture that two very different conversations happened. 

***

‘Mr. Stringer, Miss Heywood talks very highly of you. I’m not sure if you’re aware of that or not? She offered you as an example for me to follow. You are a dedicated, talented young man in her opinion which sets a very high standard for me.’ Mr. Harlow felt comfortable enough in saying to Mr. Stringer.

In reply, Mr. Stringer went – ‘I became acquainted with Miss Heywood last summer at a difficult time in my life. My ambitions to leave Sanditon and begin an apprenticeship were contrary to my father’s wishes. Unfortunately, I don’t mind in explaining to you never were resolved with my father as he died in the night of the fire. Miss Heywood was a great comfort to me at the time.’ 

‘May I be honest with you Mr. Stringer? I am quite keen on Miss Heywood. I have never met a young lady such as her before. As a close confidante of Miss Heywood, without disclosing too much, is there someone else that I should be aware of?’ 

‘Oh I do wish you had not asked me that question as I value Miss Heywood’s friendship more than anything. If I were to be better settled in life, I would be seeking to secure her hand myself for you are right. She is an exceptional young lady. But on that front you have little to fear from me.‘

‘I’m not sure if that reassures me Mr. Stringer’

‘It should do for I am not your competition. Not in reality but to her heart I fear. There is another.’ Mr. Stringer suggested without revealing any name but directed his eyes in the direction of Mr. Sidney Parker. 

‘Thank you Mr. Stringer. That is as I feared.’

***

‘Charlotte! Can you go and help Mary please on the races? I fear she is losing control of the whole event. I am too busy here as you can see selling the merits of Sanditon to all these potential investors.’ Tom began issuing an order to Charlotte as she made her way over to him. 

Before she was given an opportunity to respond, a familiar voice bellowed out ‘No Tom, Miss Heywood is here as our special guest, not to act as one of our employees. You will have to find someone else.’ Sidney said standing directly behind Charlotte leaving Charlotte physically in the middle of the two brothers. 

‘Sidney I cannot think of anyone better than Charlotte here to sort out everything’ Tom insisted. 

‘I said no. Find someone else.’

With that, Tom walked away realising that this battle was not for winning with his brother. Charlotte turned around to face Sidney. ‘There was no need to do that. I would have been happy to assist Mary. It is the least I could do for taking me in.’ 

‘Yes I know. But you are not here to be employed. I mean it when I say that you are our special guest. I hope your family were not too disappointed in letting you travel some further after your trip abroad. I hope they are all well? 

‘Yes very. Thank you very much for enquiring.’ 

Their conversation paused as each took a moment to take the other in. 

‘Did you get my gift Charlotte?’

‘Yes I received your note. Thank you but there was no need.’

‘I mean the flowers. Did you receive my flowers? Georgiana told me of a day when you were out walking together last year and she spotted you in a field of wild flowers. She said it suited you. I wanted to leave you something from me, just me, and the flowers came to mind.’

‘Yes they are beautiful’

‘What were beautiful? Do prey tell’ a voice encroached in on their space. It was the second Mrs. Parker. Mrs. Eliza Parker. 

Quickly Charlotte responded ‘Mary left me some flowers out on arrival which I was just explaining to Mr. Parker were quite beautiful. Mrs. Parker I hope I find you well?’ both ladies bowing to the other. 

‘Sidney my dear, do make an introduction to your young friend here’ Mrs. Parker instructed her husband. Her husband raised his head and his eyes up and away in response. 

‘Yes Eliza, This is Miss Heywood, you met last year. She is a guest of my brother’s and Mary’s.’

‘Oh yes now I remember. You were the governess were you not last year?’ 

Charlotte could sense Sidney’s annoyance growing and rather than depending on him to defend her, she replied herself –‘No indeed I’m afraid you have been mistook on that front. I was not the governess. I believe you may remember me as the ‘Farmer’s Daughter’. I was so happy for your sake to hear of your marriage. There are not many men who would take a woman back after dropping them for money. You must feel very appreciative of the second chance fate gave you.’ 

It was at this point that Mr. Harlow slowly glided into the conversation. ‘Ah there you are Miss Heywood! I feared I had lost you in the crowd.’ Mr. Harlow bowed in the direction of Sidney and his wife, both men eyeing each other with intent. ‘Miss Heywood, would you do the honours of making introductions please?’ Mr. Harlow said. 

‘Yes of course. Mr. Frederick Harlow, please let me make your acquaintance to Mr. Sidney Parker and his recent bride, Mrs. Eliza Parker’ Charlotte said looking from one to the other unsure of these events. 

‘Ah the prodigal son!’ Mrs. Parker exclaimed. ‘The rumour mill has been running amok with tails of your return to society. What in fact has brought you back to this island when there is so much to offer abroad for a gentleman such as you?’ 

‘Such as me?’

‘Yes such as you. The third son of an Earl with no title, no land. What could possibly entice you back here?’ 

‘Oh I don’t know. I suspect plenty.’ He replied not willing to engage with the tone of Mrs. Parker’s questioning. He smiled over to Charlotte making it clear to her at least that it was Charlotte that had brought him home. This did not go unnoticed by Sidney who fixed his stance taking in the picture in front of him. Instinctively he distanced himself ever so slightly from his wife wanting to be free of her. To those who knew Sidney well would recognise the signs of his brewing discomfort and disquiet as his jaw clenched. It did not go unnoticed to Mrs. Parker either.

‘Come now’ Mrs. Parker continued ‘You can be honest here. You are amongst friends. I am sure your father the Earl would say he does not require your services. The third son is always freer to do as he wished with no obligations expected of him. The world is your oyster. What on God’s earth would entice you here to Sanditon of all places? If it is love you seek, there is little here for a gentleman to find’. 

A new voice then came into the conversation – 

‘What is this I am hearing about there being little here in Sanditon? Miss Heywood have you been deceiving us all this time?’ Mr Harlow Senior, the Earl of Wormwood, bellowed out in jest. 

‘Indeed not my Grace. Sanditon is a wonderful place.’ 

‘We were just commenting on young Mr. Harlow’s motivation to returning to England and finding himself here in Sanditon. What could possibly entice a young gentleman here!’ Mrs. Parker spoke. 

‘I have only been here a few hours now but I can quite certainly say that Sanditon has a lot to offer’ the older gentleman said. 

‘We were enquiring as if it were for matters of the heart for there are very few suitable young ladies here not already acquainted with London society who would be marked as potential suitors for a young gentleman such as Mr. Harlow’ Mrs. Parker persisted unaware of the company as to who she was speaking to. 

‘Ah on that front I must disagree with you. I think that there are many tolerable young ladies that would be extremely suitable for any young gentleman who seeks a wife who he can actually hold a sensible conversation with. Indeed I am standing right next to one am I not Miss Heywood?’ the Earl continued looking over to Charlotte as he finished. Charlotte could do nothing but blush under the compliment. 

‘Oh I’m sure we can all agree that Miss Heywood would be better suited to a smaller world in the countryside rather than our London world’ - Mrs Parker replied taking all of them a little by surprise by the tone of which she demeaned Charlotte in her remark. It was on this note that the Earl felt that he had enough of this conversation – 

‘Miss Heywood. Would you do me the honour of taking a turn down by the river with me?’ – he asked. 

Mrs Parker still even at this point couldn’t let the issue go. ‘My dear Sir, Can I suggest you walk with myself and my husband instead? For we have yet to be introduced but I think it would be better for a gentleman to be seen in the company of someone more prestigious in society’. 

The Earl could see his son about to react to this derogatory comment about Miss Heywood and he did not wish any unnecessary scene to come about. He interjected yet again – ‘You are right. We have not yet been introduced. The Earl of Wormwood at your service. And if you don’t mind I have a matter of importance I wish to speak to Miss Heywood about privately. Freddie follow me directly’. 

As the Earl and Charlotte walked away, the Earl whispered to Charlotte ‘What an insufferable women’ to which she could tried hard not to smile at. 

Young Mr. Harlow did not though quite follow directly. He lingered a moment before saying ‘Mr. Parker. I understand that there is a close connection between you, your family and Miss Heywood. I would like to you know that I am in pursuit of Miss Heywood and I do hope that there will be no objections from …. The Parkers.’ 

Mrs. Parker chimed in – ‘Why on earth would there be!’ annoyed by the question and what it was suggesting. She took Sidney’s arm and began to lead him away. Sidney though stood his ground with a clear understanding of what Mr. Harlow was implying. ‘Good day to you Mr. Harlow’ was all he could reply through gritted teeth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! Hope you enjoy this one. Stay tuned as there's a big chapter coming next! Thanks for all your kind comments so far!


	10. An Overdue Showdown

Chapter Ten:

‘Ah Miss Heywood. There you are.’ – it was Lord Babington. ‘My wife informed me that you were honouring us with your presence at the regatta. It is a delight to have you back may I say on both our parts. Will you take a short walk with me please?’ 

‘Of course’ – Charlotte replied happily. She was pleased to see him as well in these settings. 

‘You may have heard that Lady Denham has been unwell. I fear that she is not for this world much longer. Dr. Fuchs has been monitoring her situation closely and he thinks her health is worse than it was this time last year. My wife has been by her side for the past week, hence why she is not here herself in person. Lady Denham drifts in and out of consciousness, one moment quite lucid to sleeping very deeply for hours on end. What strength she has when she wakes she is making good use of. She has been instructing Esther to take care of her affairs.’

‘Esther has asked me though to enquire as to whether you would oblige her by coming over to Sanditon House tomorrow morn? That is the mission she sent me here on. Would you be in a position to visit?’

‘Yes absolutely I will be there.’ Charlotte replied. 

‘Thank you. I know it will mean a lot to Esther if you could. I apologise for not being able to deliver you some better news but it does not look good I’m afraid.’

***

With that on her mind, she sought out Mary to assist her in the planning for the races. Lady Denham was a strong-minded woman. She would not give up without a fight Charlotte believed but if Lady Denham had asked Esther to sort out her affairs, it did not sound like a good omen. For sure, she will find out more in the morning when she met with Esther. 

She found Mary all in a tizzy near the starting line of the races. 

‘Mary what is wrong?’ 

‘Oh Charlotte, I cannot find the list of competitors for the races. I was sure I had brought it with me. I can’t seem to find it anywhere. We will have to postpone the races until I can find it. Oh dear! What is Tom going to stay? I will have let him down greatly.’ 

‘Hush now Mary’ Charlotte said to her ‘I am sure it is not as bad as all that. Between us we will find it. Tell me where is the last place you can remember having the papers?’ 

‘In Tom’s library this morning I think’

‘Well I am sure that they are still there. Let me go back to Trafalgar House and have a look. Fret not Mary. Even if we cannot find them we will quickly be able to pull together another list for all the teams will present themselves at some point before the races begin’

‘Oh thank you Charlotte. I knew you would be able to come to the rescue. You are so much better at these things than I could ever be.’ 

‘I am sure you are not Mary’ and with that Charlotte headed back to the house unaware that she was being followed. 

When she arrived back to the house and let herself in, she went straight to Tom’s library and quickly found the papers. As she came across them, she heard the front door closing. ‘Mary must have come back as well to help look after all’ Charlotte thought to herself. 

‘Charlotte’ Sidney said quietly in his deep tones. 

Charlotte turned around startled by the mention of her name by the gentleman in question. ‘Mr. Parker? What has brought you back to the house? I came back to search for some papers on Mary’s behalf and I am about to return to the regatta.’ She suddenly felt very nervous in his company but then quickly regained her composure in her own mind. 

‘I saw you leave the regatta. I hope you don’t mind but I was hoping for a quiet moment with you.’ Sidney explained. 

‘Maybe we should talk on the way back to the regatta.’ Charlotte responded. 

‘No. No. Not like that’ Sidney replied shaking his head. ‘There are too many prying eyes at the regatta and outside. Just a few moments here between you and I. Please.’ He stepped forward to be closer to her. 

‘I…’ said Charlotte unsure of what to say.

‘Charlotte. Oh Charlotte. I know I should not say this but I have missed you so much. Heaven knows I shouldn’t even be thinking it but I have Charlotte. My dearest Charlotte.’ 

‘Sir please. This is not an appropriate course of conversation. Someone may overhear.’ 

‘No they won’t. I know for a fact that Mary has released all the servants for the afternoon to enjoy the regatta. It is just us two.’ 

Charlotte could not find a response in that moment. Her emotions were pulling her one way and another. If someone should come in and find them together in conversation like this, it would be just too much. And yet at the same time, her heart was crying out for just a few moments alone with her beloved. 

‘How are you Charlotte? Truthfully?’ Sidney urged her. 

‘I am well’ she replied. ‘Lady Susan has been an exceedingly fortunate friend bestowing upon me such patronage that this time last year I never dreamed I would enjoy. Who knew what a year would hold.’ 

‘Indeed. Who knew!’ Sidney acknowledged with a strained smile on his face. 

‘And you Sir. How are you? Has marriage met your expectations?’

‘Expectations?’ he replied ‘You ask me such a thing?’

‘Why yes of course.’

‘You do recall the events of last year and how my marriage came about!’ he said raising his voice out of frustration with Charlotte’s appearance of nonchalance to his situation.

Charlotte equally could feel her own anger rising as well. How could he ask such a question!

‘I recall very well Sir. Very well!’ - her temperament rising to the occasion. She looked at him squarely in his eyes. ‘Events occurred that were well beyond my control which left me …’ Charlotte stopped herself. There was no point going that road.

‘Well beyond your control? What is that meant to mean?’ said Sidney. 

‘Sir I really see little point in this conversation. We really should be getting back to the regatta.’ 

‘No Charlotte. What do you mean? I know events last year were …. hard to say the least. I know. I was there too. But beyond your control?’ 

Charlotte drew her breadth and from somewhere within her she could feel a sentiment that had been brewing there for a long time wanting to escape. 

‘It has been a long time now that I have believed that the feelings that we expressed to each other were nothing more than baseless folly.’ 

‘Baseless folly?’ Sidney practically shouting at her. ‘Baseless folly? How on earth could you ever say that? Ever think it? Think it of me?’ 

‘Think it of you?’ Charlotte raising her voice to him now as well. She stepped further towards him defiantly staring at him. ‘Yes for a long time now I have thought that every word you spoke to me, the way you behaved towards me, the way you played with me, was merely just a game! Something to keep you entertained while you were bored here in Sanditon entertaining your friends.’ 

Sidney was completely taken aback by this.

‘Charlotte? How could you…? How could you ever doubt my feelings for you? The feelings I still have for you.’ - almost pleading with her.

‘Time and experience over the last year has opened my mind to seeing how true love works. If you had truly wanted me as your wife, you would have moved heaven and earth for it. For me! For us! Instead what did you do! You offered yourself to the most easily accessible wealthy woman you could find.’ 

‘Charlotte what else could have I done? Tom’s situation was so precarious. I needed to find the security to keep my family afloat. Everyone depended on me. What choice did I have!’ 

‘Oh you had a choice. You could have come back here, to me and consulted with me when options looked limited. You could have spoken to me. We could have looked at other alternatives. I could have spoken with Lady Worcester about the potential of speaking to the Prince Regent for example. But you closed that door to me, to us. And came back here with little regard for how it would impact me. I mean it certainly appeared that I played little part in your decision making. I was far from your thoughts. So yes, you enjoyed some sort of game that you got your own strange satisfactions from making me believe that you were in love with me.’ 

As Charlotte said this all out loud, it took her even by surprise. The shock of Charlotte’s words and the sentiment behind them stunned Sidney to his core. 

‘You said you didn’t think badly of me. How could you think this of me? You have no idea what I have suffered this last year Charlotte. The number of times that I wanted to call off the engagement and throw caution to the wind to seek you out. The number of times that I have dreamt of you to wake up and find you not by my side. The number of times I have reached out for you and you are not there. How can you think that for one moment any of my feelings for you were anything but true and sincere. You of all people! Knowing that you did not think badly of me gave me the energy to get up in the morning knowing that you had approved of what I was doing. And now you tell me that you don’t!’ 

Sidney looked like a man broken by the weight of what he was hearing. Charlotte was confused within her own head. Did she really mean those words? Where did they come from? Had she always been that angry at him? And while her own head was trying to make sense of what she had said, she looked at him and her heart was yelling out at her to tell him she was wrong. She wanted to take it back. She wanted to tell him that she understood. She wanted to take his hands in hers to reassure him that all would be okay. She wanted to hold him. 

Sidney turned away from her for a second. ‘I suppose this is the result of Mr. Harlow’s influence on you. Placing such thoughts and doubts in your head.’ – he said. 

‘No. This is nothing to do with him.’ 

‘It has everything to do with him!’ he balked at her. ‘He warned me away from you, you know. Not so long ago at the regatta. Is it him putting these ideas into your head?’

‘It has nothing to do with him’ – Charlotte grew uncomfortable at the mention of Mr. Harlow’s name coming from the mouth of Sidney. ‘This is all wrong’ Charlotte thought to herself, ‘How had this happened?’ This was turning all too disagreeable. 

They stood directly facing each other; their breathing equally short and shallow, scowling at each other. If there was one thing they had in common it was their shared talent for not backing down from an argument. 

Then, in a split second, the tension exploded between them as Sidney reached out and pulled Charlotte into a kiss; a kiss full of depth and hunger. Taken aback, Charlotte pushed him back. 

‘Sir you cannot take those liberties!’

Sidney looked at her and again he stepped into her space pulling her into him. He kissed her just that little bit more softer this time not wanting to scare her away. She began to respond to him before she gathered her wits and again she pushed him away, her breathing catching her short. She didn’t say a word. She was caught in his eyes. 

Once more he stepped closer to her and kissed her taking her head in his hands. Charlotte no longer had the ability to reject him as her head, her heart and her body had all come under the power of Sidney. He kissed her with such feeling that she felt her soul soaring into the sky. 

Sidney held her to him gently directing her back against the wall of the library. He pressed his body against hers, running his hand through her hair, letting his fingers linger along her face, down her neck and along her shoulder. He broke from her as he let his lips enjoy the taste of her skin under her chin. 

Charlotte was lost to him at this point. As he broke from her lips, it allowed her to explore his body and she leaned into his chin taking in his scent. She loosened his cravat leaving his skin exposed. She ran her own fingers against it before moving her fingers inside his shirt. His skin was so soft. She leaned her head back more to let him find more of her. Their lips then returned to the other with a desire that would leave the most adventurous of us red-faced. 

From the depths of somewhere that Sidney never knew existed within him, he unlatched himself from Charlotte and let out a roar as he hit the wall with his fist. 

‘Go now before I do something I cannot take back!’ he gnarled at her. 

Charlotte stood under him unsure and unwilling to go confused by his reaction, her own reaction. 

‘Go now!’ – he then shouted at her shaking her to her core. 

She stepped away from under him. She leaned against the table trying to compose herself. 

‘Sometimes, Mr. Parker, I truly do hate you!’ she said. 

Still leaning against the wall and away from Charlotte, Sidney responded ‘Not as much as I hate myself right now!’

Tears were welling up in Charlotte’s eyes and before she would let him see the fruits of his work, she ran out of Trafalgar House. 

Sidney, on the other hand, knew he would have to stay there for a little while longer to ensure it did not look like that he or Charlotte had been together. He stood back from the wall taking in a very deep breadth. How close he had come to risking it all with Charlotte. What was he thinking! He poured himself a glass of port taking a long sip from it. He looked upon his brother’s model of Sanditon laid out in his library. Sidney put down the glass of port and with a temper, he overturned the model of Sanditon letting it break into several places as it fell onto the floor. ‘All this because of my brother!’ he thought to himself angrily.


	11. A Certain Understanding

Chapter 11:

Sidney made his way back to the regatta and instantly went to pour himself out a glass of port. He drank it down swiftly in one gulp and then poured himself another. And another. At this moment, he simply did not care. He sought out Charlotte from his vantage point and could see her in amongst the throngs of people along the river. The Gentlemen’s Race was just about in completion. He did not give a fig that he should be in a boat with his brothers. There was only one thing, or rather one person on his mind – a certain Miss Heywood.

He saw her, standing there with her arms wrapped around herself tensely. Her face was scrunched up in anger he could tell. Mr. Harlow seemed to be bouncing around her like an excited pup and he watched Charlotte appease him. ‘Turn around and look at me. Turn around and look at me. Turn around and look at me’ he was thinking in his head. ‘Just turn around’. She did and their eyes met. She stared at him, her eyebrows meeting in the middle and her mouth pursed tight. She lingered on him for a moment before she raised her chin up into the air and turned back around to face away from him. He knew that as long as she was angry, the longer her body gave away her emotions, the longer she stayed that way, the longer she was his. And he wanted her to be his for as long as possible! For as long as it was meaningfully possible.

But there was one thing he needed to do. One thing that he really did not want to do. If there was a choice of doing it and disappearing off into the wilderness, the latter was his preferred option but avoiding what he needed to do was not the solution. So he threw another glass of port down his throat and went to do what felt like stabbing himself in his heart.

He walked over to Mr. Harlow seeing him alone. He reached out his left hand and laid it on Mr. Harlow’s right shoulder. He twisted his fingers into a claw and dug them down into Mr. Harlow’s shoulder –

‘If you hit her, hurt her or make her cry in any little way, be assured Mr. Harlow, I will kill you.’

Mr. Harlow looked at him. He shuck Sidney’s hand off his shoulder and nodded his head. He began to walk away but stopped –

‘Oh Mr Parker. You also need to appreciate that you have no part to play anymore in Miss Heywood’s life.’

Sidney could not recall a moment in his life when he desired to thump someone as much as he wanted to with Mr. Harlow. His hands turned into fists and he endeavoured to hold himself back.

‘Crowe!’ he called out. ‘Crowe! You are coming with me!’

In the company of Mr. Crowe, he left the regatta, which must be said was a happy development for Mr. Crowe, and they made their way to The Crown Hotel. There, they consumed several bottles of wine. Sidney took on the challenge of a fight, made merriment, and as Crowe remarked, they behaved as they did before Sidney and Babington became married men. To the regulars of The Crown Inn, the presence of Mr. Parker in the establishment was a bit of a surprise to them. It had been some time since they had seen him in this particular state and it made tongues wag.

Some hours later, Lord Babington came and joined them - ‘Ah! Another who has come to his senses! - shouted Crowe at this point quite inebriated.

Babington ignored him. ‘Sidney your wife asked me to come find you. Your absence of many hours now has been noted.’ – he said to him.

‘My wife!’ Sidney mumbled. ‘My wife! Indeed.’

‘Yes your wife’ Babington said with force now sitting down at their table. ‘The woman you walked down the aisle with. The woman who you abandoned at the regatta earlier today’.

‘Oh please Babington. Don’t give me that. Eliza was being well looked after. She was in her element. I was far from her thoughts.’ – Sidney then paused, looked into his glass and progressed - ‘I will tell you something. The woman who should be my wife! That wonderful goddess who I had to witness being pursued by another man…’ – Sidney’s voice trailed off – ‘The glorious Miss Heywood. She hates me you know. She told me today. She hates me! What’s more? I cannot blame her!’

‘Sidney! Keep your voice down! If not for your sake, but for hers!’ Babington reprimanded him. ‘Is this what this is about? Getting drunk and into fights again?’

‘So says the reformed married Lord of the Realm!’ Crowe suddenly interjected.

Babington carried on – ‘Sidney I do not know what transpired last summer. Sometimes it would be good to know what goes on in that thick skull of yours but right now, you need to remember that a certain level of decorum is expected from you. For Sanditon’s sake. For your brother’s sake. For your family’s sake. For your wife’s sake!’

Sidney banged his fist on my table and roared ‘ And what about for my sake?’

A silence descended around the table. Sidney looked around him and realised that people were beginning to stare over at them.

‘Enough of this.’ He grabbed a bottle off the table and walked out the door.

‘Leave him’ Crowe said over to Babington. ‘There is no point talking to him when he has this demon in his head’ in a rare moment of clarity. Babington sighed and realised that Crowe was right. But this situation could not carry on any further.

***

Sidney left The Crown Inn with every intention of finding a quiet spot on the beach to finish the bottle. It was a mild night. The moon glimmered on the sea. If truth be known, Sidney would have preferred a stormy night where he could have released that demon that Crowe had recognised within him to the winds. Instead it was a quiet night where the waves gently lapped upon the shore. It lured him into walking in quiet solitude until he reached his cove.

He sat down upon a rock and began to drink from the bottle. After a while, he decided to sit down on the sand and before he knew it, he drifted off into slumber. A bird chirped in his ear eventually waking him up as the sun was beginning to rise. His throat burnt with dryness. He walked over to the sea, bent down and put his hand in the water and scooped up a handful drinking it in. He stood up and decided to take a swim in the sea. When he came out of the water, he began to feel a certain degree of normality although his head was far from happy.

He began to walk back to Sanditon along the beach believing that he could quietly sneak back into his house without upsetting the household. Or his wife.

There was not a soul on the beach so no one would see him on the walk back. He had started to walk up the sandy lane that led into the town when someone began to walk towards him. He looked up and stopped in his stride –

‘Charlotte’ his voice cracked.

Charlotte stopped dead. The two of them stood there in silence. All else could have fallen around them and they would not have noticed.

‘I could not sleep. ’ she whispered out. He nodded. She looked around looking for some way out of this circumstance. She had no words to say to him.

It was true what she had said. She had slept badly that night. She declined dinner the night before when everyone was in fine form after the regatta. She claimed to have a headache when they arrived back to Trafalgar House and excused herself to her room. There was only one thing she needed that evening and that was to be alone with her thoughts.

She began to walk past him, and as she did, his hand reached out to her. She stopped, closing her eyes in such proximity to him. He held her hand and leaned his head into hers. He closed his eyes taking in the sweet smell of her hair.

‘Don’t hate me please. I beg you.’ He gently pleaded into her ear. ‘I can bear anything but not that.’

Charlotte pulled her hand way. She was too close to falling into pieces, her world crashing down around her. She began to walk away from towards the beach.

Sidney called out after her – ‘I love you Charlotte. Only you.’

She stopped again and turned around to him. She lowered her eyes before raising them again to meet his. She had no response to offer him. There was nothing left to say and she walked away leaving Sidney with nothing to do but to look after her.

Sidney made his way back to Heywood Terrace but stopped before he walked through his door. ‘The irony of living on Heywood Terrace’ he thought to himself. He looked around knowing that Charlotte was somewhere out there, alone, knowing finally with all clarity that he loved her, only her, but she did not care to know.

As he walked in, a voice came to him from the lounge – ‘Sidney where have you been? I have been worried all night.’ Eliza called out to him.

He walked straight past her into the lounge, took a bottle of port and a glass, then proceeded to walk back out of the room into his private study.

‘Sidney I demand to know where you have been.’ – she shouted after him. When he closed and locked the door behind him, she continued to scream at him banging on the door.

Sidney poured himself a glass and moved his chair over to the window that looked down towards the cove. Out there was Charlotte. His Charlotte. If he could just get a slight glimpse of her, it was all he wanted right now. He took a sip from his glass and closed his eyes. He had finally declared to her how he truly felt but she had completely disregarded him. ‘Oh Charlotte! Please don’t think badly of me. Please’ he repeated to himself before he drifted off to sleep.

Charlotte, in the meantime, walked aimlessly along the beach and without realising found her way to the cove. She fell to her knees next to the shore, and as the waves grew stronger with the tide, so did her sobbing.

***

Later that morning, Charlotte found herself at Sanditon House. Esther warmly greeted her. Since the previous summer, they had maintained a close correspondence filled with truth and honesty. Those who would have known them both previously as individuals would never have assumed that these two young and very different ladies would ever become each other’s confessor and confidante.

‘Charlotte you look dreadful! What has happened?’ Esther enquired.

‘Oh! I had a headache last night and I slept badly’ she replied.

‘Before we sit down, my Aunt is awake and is keen to see you. I hate to take up more of your time but could I ask you to come sit with her? If you are not too keen to get back a certain Earl’s son.’ Esther asked.

‘Esther! Please. Not you too!’ Charlotte responded. ‘Of course I will come and see her.’

They walked into Lady Denham’s room where they found her sitting up.

‘Well here she is. The ever affable Miss Heywood! Are you surprised to see me here? Alive? I hear the new rector is already working on his sermon for my funeral. Well as you can see nothing can break me down!’ Lady Denham welcomed her to come sit by her bed.

Charlotte’s first thought was that Lady Denham looked very pale and appeared to have lost a substantial amount of weight. ‘I am very pleased to hear it is just so’ Charlotte smiled at her.

‘So tell me your news but judging by the look of you, some may say that you should be in this bed and not I!’

‘All is well with me Lady Denham I can assure you. I had a bad night’s sleep.’

‘Hmmmm. Esther pour this girl a glass of ass’ milk. That will cure you.’ Charlotte and Esther looked over at each smiling.

‘Esther tells me that the regatta went well yesterday. Tell me Miss Heywood, do you believe that my investment in Mr. Parker’s scheme is still sound?’

‘Oh I am sure of it’

‘Really? Would you have said that the day after the fire Miss Heywood? Would you?’ Lady Denham scolded her before breaking into a coughing fit. She dismissed both ladies who tried to help her and waved them away.

‘And what of Mr. Sidney Parker?’ she asked when she had recovered herself.

Charlotte was unsure as to where this was leading and sat up more in her chair ‘Mr. Sidney Parker Lady Denham? I do not comprehend?’

‘Yes! Yes! Mr. Sidney Parker? Do you believe him to be better managing the finances of Sanditon than his brother?’

‘I cannot comment on that point. I am no longer familiar with the Parkers’ situation to express an opinion.’

Lady Denham looked over at Esther. ‘Well I must say. This is a first. Miss Heywood is unable to express an opinion. I do not believe that for one moment. Come now. I am sure you know more than you know. Were you not in particular confidences with Mr. Sidney last summer?’ – it was more of a statement from Lady Denham rather than a formal question.

Charlotte quickly began to think of a response that would move the topic on but Lady Denham was quicker in returning to the topic – ‘So the spark has gone out with Mr. Sidney then it would appear.’

‘The spark? Lady Denham for sure I do not understand your question.’

‘Esther said that you would say something like that indeed.’

Charlotte looked over to Esther quizzically. Esther in return shrugged her shoulders with an air of false regret.

‘Miss Heywood. I do have eyes and they work perfectly fine. One of the few things about me now that still remains working well it would appear too. You and that Mr. Sidney. I saw you at the mid-summer’s ball last year. You could not take your eyes of each other. I remarked about it at the time to my niece. I think I recall saying that you made a handsome pair.’

‘I think you also said that Miss Heywood certainly had the where with all to match a man such as Mr. Parker as well. Did you not Aunt? – Esther added much to Charlotte’s confusion as to the course of this conversation.

‘And when that foolish brother of his turned up on my door claiming that Sanditon had been saved due to the ‘joyful’ news of his brother’s brothel to Mrs. Campion, I cannot lie. For a moment I thought that that other nonsensical brother of his, Mr. Arthur, had suddenly found some gumption and had miraculously enticed her into matrimony. Not for one moment did I suspect that it was Mr. Sidney.’ – Lady Denham stopped to take some water. ‘Indeed not for one moment.’

She looked at Charlotte sitting in the chair with her eyes focused down on her hands in her lap, her fingers fidgeting. ‘So it is as I thought. Mr. Sidney dropped you in favour of another with a larger fortune than you. You were the sacrificial lamb for the sake of the Parker family.’

‘Ma’am I can assure you that it was nothing of the sort. I supported Mr. Parker in his decision and wished him well in his marriage at the time.’ – Charlotte replied putting on the best face she could.

‘And what of this other young gentleman suitor, Lady Worcester’s nephew? He seems keen.’

‘I can see Lady Denham that you are being kept up to date with my affairs.’ – Charlotte said looking over at Esther again.

‘Come now. I am a dying woman. Have not you heard? Who am I going to further this information on?’

When Lady Denham put is that way, Charlotte felt quite guilty. What was the point in keeping all this a great secret from her? What would it serve?

‘Yes his name is Frederick Harlow. He is the third son of the Earl of Wormwood, Lady Worcester’s brother.’ – and Charlotte began to fill her in on how they met and somehow, Charlotte began to open up about him and even brought up the question of the proposal of courtship he sought from her. And when Lady Denham asked what was holding her back, Lady Denham went – ‘Ah yes! What a silly question of me to ask. The answer is not a thing but rather a person. Mr. Sidney Parker’.

Charlotte remained silent looking down at her hands. Somehow she was finding comfort in this conversation and she looked up at Lady Denham as ill as she was in her bed and said ‘Yes’ shrugging her shoulders in a gesture that enquired ‘What am I to do?’. Lady Denham interpreted the message well.

‘Miss Heywood let me tell you something I said to Esther last year. Sometimes it is better to be loved than to love. You are a handsome enough girl but your lack of substantial fortune will hold you back. This may be your only opportunity to secure your future. Don’t walk away from it child.’

***

Charlotte walked back from Sanditon House, her head full of the conversation with Lady Denham. When she made it back to Trafalgar House, she found it empty and made her way to her room. She lay down on her bed and fell asleep for a few hours. When she awoke, she knew what she had to do. She walked over to her desk and began to write up two letters. She finished them, put them aside and began to pack her bags. When that task had been completed, she sat back down on her bed and she affirmed in her mind what she had to do next.

She walked over to Lady Susan’s apartments and found Lady Susan alone.

‘My dear! How are you? I was so worried about you when I heard you were ill last night. How are you feeling today?’ – Lady Susan enquired.

‘I am well’ – Charlotte said warmly to Lady Susan. ‘May I ask is Mr. Harlow available? I would like a word with him if so.’

‘Oh what unfortunate luck. I’m afraid he went for a walk with his father not so long ago to discuss their new business venture. I can tell him to call over to you later if you wish?’

‘No there would be no point. I am leaving for Willingden soon so I was coming over to say goodbye. On the chance that he would not be here, I wrote him a letter. May I leave it with you?'

‘Why of course! Charlotte please tell me. Is there anything wrong? Why the need to rush home?’

‘Nothing is wrong. All is well except that I am in need of spending time with my parents and my family. I had not realised how much I have missed them.’ – Charlotte responded knowing that this was the partial truth but sufficient enough for her not to be lying.

Charlotte headed back to Trafalgar House whereupon Mary had arrived home and was curious as to the presence of her luggage in the hallway.

‘Charlotte you are leaving? But you have only just arrived? Is everything okay? Are you ill? I was so worried about you last night. I could hear you pacing the room.’ Mary asked. Again Charlotte gave her the same response she gave to Lady Susan.

‘Mary please. May I ask you a favour? One not to be repeated to another soul?’ – Charlotte asked.

‘Yes of course.’

‘Could you bring this note to Sidney please? Just to him? To be put into his hands only by you?’

Mary stopped and smiled at her – ‘Yes. This will remain between us two.’ – and Mary reached out to give her a hug.

***

The two gentlemen in question where therefore to receive a note from our Miss Heywood after she had left Sanditon.

Mary walked over to Heywood Terrace to seek out Sidney and when she was greeted by her sister-in-law, who she found was very unimpressed by her husband who had locked himself away for the day in the study. ‘You are welcome to try but I do not suspect that you will have much luck with him!’ – the second Mrs. Parker said to the first and walked away. Mary knocked on the door to the study – ‘Sidney it is Mary. May I come in? I am alone.’ She heard the lock move and entered the room. She found a tired looking dishevelled, slightly drunk, slightly hungover Sidney alone. ‘Oh Sidney! What has happened?’

‘I should never have asked her to come’ he said.

‘Ah Charlotte’ Mary understanding the cause to his distress. ‘Was that you who upturned the model in Tom’s library then?’ Mary prodded. ‘We were wondering what had happened. I suppose I should give you my thanks for that.’ Mary quipped producing a smile on Sidney’s face. ‘I’ve already told Tom that his next model will never make it through the doors of our home ever.’ ‘Charlotte has just left for Willingdon but before she left, she asked me to give this to you, to put it into your hands myself’ and she handed Sidney Charlotte’s note. It read as follows:

_‘I do not hate you. I do not think badly of you. I did not mean the words I said and I wish I could take them back. What you did for your family was selfless and proved to me that underneath your exterior, your heart has the greatest amount of love in any man that I have come into contact with. But I was hurt. And I still hurt. I thought that if I could find the slightest reason to think badly of you, I believed it would ease the pain within my own heart. I learned though that this was futile and served little. I have tried hard to forget you and I need to try harder. I should not have come to Sanditon which is why by the time you read this, I will be gone. One more minute seeing you, being near you, with another, it is too hard. I cried when I left Sanditon last year. I cried a lot. It took so much strength I never knew I had to move on from you and I need to keep moving forward. Which is why I want to tell you first that Mr. Harlow has asked me to accept him for a formal courtship and I have agreed. We must do what we need to do.‘_

Sidney passed the note over to Mary and stood up to find a lit candle. The only words from Mary after she read it were ‘Oh Sidney. I am so sorry!’ She handed back the letter and Sidney took it to the fireplace to burn it to ensure no other eyes would find it. Once it was burnt to ashes, Sidney returned to Mary and sat down next to her whereby he put his head in his hands and cried. Mary knew there were no words of consolation that would make him better so simply comforted him.

In another part of Sanditon, another gentleman opened his note. When he had finished it, he let out a yell of delight. Lady Susan had been quite apprehensive of the contents of the letter unsure as to what it would say. She was preparing herself to offer words of comfort to her nephew but it turned out they would not be needed. Charlotte had agreed to the courtship and instructed him to come to Willingdon to meet with her father.

While the Earl congratulated his son, Lady Susan and Mr. Stratford both looked at each other wondering why the sudden change of heart from Charlotte. They were both happy for him, but they both quietly believed that Charlotte would need more persuading. Something must have happened they agreed but unsure as to what and wise enough not to speculate. However, things were now set in motion and as soon as Mr. Harlow could arrange it, he travelled to Willingdon.


	12. A Courtship Agreed

Chapter Twelve:

It was two weeks before Mr. Harlow called again on Miss Heywood in Willingden. Two weeks which allowed for Charlotte to speak with her Father. She was nervous revealing to her sister, Alison, after she had brought her up to speed with events on her Italian adventures. On the subject of Mr. Parker, she still maintained a respectful silence. On that issue, she did not know where to begin.

‘I do not know why Alison but I feel like I will somehow be disappointing Papa by speaking to him which is ridiculous I know. I mean it is only a courtship, not an engagement.’ 

‘Sister may I ask? Why not a proposal? Maybe that is what making you feel nervous. For if I am curious, Papa and Mama most certainly will be indeed’ – Alison pointed out. 

‘I suppose it is not the right time for an engagement. Neither of us are ready. Mr. Harlow wants to get his business up and running which I support him on and I …’ 

‘Yes?’ Alison asked.

‘I just want to be sure I suppose. I mean we met abroad where the world was full of sunshine. I know some people would say and have said that I should snap him up quickly but I don’t want to rush it.’ – Charlotte replied.

‘And you believe Mr. Harlow is of the same mind?’

‘Yes I do’ 

‘Then I believe that there is nothing to be afraid of from Papa. If you both seem to be thinking along the same lines, there can be no issue.’ – Alison gave her a reassurance. 

‘Tell me this dear Sister. When did you become so wise?’ – Charlotte complimented her younger sister. 

‘I have had an excellent tutor in my older sister!’ as they giggled together. 

‘Yes it was good to be home’ Charlotte thought to herself. 

When she went into her Father’s study to speak with him on the matter, again her anxiety rose to the point she was almost feeling nausea. 

‘Charlotte what is on your mind?’ her Father enquired. 

‘Papa there is something I need to tell you and I don’t know how you will react.’

‘Is there? Should I be worried?’ he looked at her raising an inquisitive eye from his chair behind his desk. 

‘No Sir. Well I hope not.’

‘So child. I suggest you pull up a chair and begin at the beginning’ – And therein began Charlotte on her encounter with Mr. Harlow in Florence, his familial connections and how he now sought her out by way of a formal courtship. 

‘I believe I should meet this young gentleman Charlotte.’ He replied. ‘But tell me something first. Are you in love with him? I ask because you have not said it yourself yet. If you are seriously considering his hand in marriage, even I have to agree that there needs to be some amount of love and passion within a relationship. I wouldn’t accept anything less for you my child than what I have in my own marriage.’ 

‘I believe Father that we would be very compatible but we need more time to get better acquainted with each other.’ 

‘Compatible? Quite. Well I suppose then that you should write to him telling him to come back to Willingden on his own merit this time for me to speak with him.’ – Mr. Heywood instructed her. 

Charlotte went to leave the study but before she did, her Father added – 

‘You may also want to warn him that I am not in the mood for giving my first born daughter to just anyone. He will need to bring his best self with him to convince me.’ 

When Mr. Harlow’s carriage eventually arrived at the Heywood Estate, he was greeted not just by Charlotte but all her siblings, all curious to meet this new character who was being introduced into their world. It was quite a sight for Mr. Harlow, more use to a formal, reserved family setting. To say that there was a degree of excitable bedlam on his arrival would be an understatement.

‘Mr. Harlow’ – Mr. Heywood called out. Everyone stopped and looked over at Mr. Harlow, even Charlotte. 

‘Yes Sir?’ 

‘Come with me’

Mr. Harlow looked at Charlotte and for the first time since she had met him, he looked painfully unsure of himself. Charlotte couldn’t help but smile. He then followed Mr. Heywood into his study and remained in there for more than an hour. 

‘What on earth can they be talking about Mama?’ – Charlotte asked of her mother. 

‘These things take time my dear.’ 

‘Surely if I have already indicated that I am willing that should be enough.’

‘Hush now Charlotte. You know that that is not how these things work.’ – her mother said. 

Eventually Mr. Heywood emerged from his study and called for his steward to make arrangements for Mr. Harlow in the village. He would need rooms for one week. Mr. Harlow followed him out looking like a man who had fought several rounds in a boxing game – pale and overwhelmed. 

‘Mr. Harlow?’ – Charlotte’s mother interjected at this point – ‘Can I offer you a coffee? Or perhaps something stronger?’ 

‘Yes please’

‘Charlotte can you look after Mr. Harlow please.’ – she ordered. 

Charlotte returned with a stiff drink for Mr. Harlow and it was the first time they looked at each properly acknowledging each other knowingly. All had been agreed as to the courtship. 

***

Later that evening when Mrs. Heywood had time with Mr. Heywood alone, she asked ‘So tell me Husband. Why did you keep him in your study for so long? What were you both speaking of?’ 

Mr. Heywood chugged to himself. ‘Oh absolutely nothing of particular. I just enjoyed having fun with him. At his expense.’ 

‘That is cruel my dear. The poor fellow was white as a sheet when he came out.’

‘Good. That was my intention! Any man who comes to Willingden seeking any of my daughters will learn to realise that they should approach with caution. I’m not too keen on this aspect of parenting!’ 

***

Mr. Harlow spent a week in Willingden where the rules of the courtship were decided between Charlotte, her father and Mr. Harlow. Regular correspondence was to be encouraged. They should always be chaperoned. Mr. Harlow could visit Willingden when he liked so long as he took rooms in the village. Charlotte would be invited to his family estate when such an occasion should deserve it. The one issue Charlotte refused to agree on taking both her Father and Mr. Harlow by surprise was her reluctance to visit him in London. She simply said that it was not for discussion as London was not for her. No one could get her to reveal her reasons as to why such reluctance, not even her sister. 

They took walks together getting more acquainted with each other better finding out other areas of interest that they had in common. Mr. Harlow explained in more detail his plans for his business venture. Charlotte spoke more about her life in the countryside. Now that all seemed to be set and agreed, here were now two people who were being left to build on something they both believed could work. 

***

Mr. Heywood watched them both together with a keen eye. 

‘Husband. What is it? You have been monitoring them for some time. What is on your mind? – Mrs. Heywood asked. 

‘I don’t know. I can’t put my finger on it. Despite Charlotte not saying it but I believe she has some doubts about the whole affair.’ 

‘No I’m sure that’s not the case. This is the first serious suitor she has had. She is merely finding her feet.’ 

‘Look at her my dear. Do you see her smiling? Really smiling?’

‘She is being shy, not giving so much away of herself, keeping him on his toes. I remember doing that myself with you.’

‘Hmmm. I am not convinced. When in our Charlotte’s life have you ever known her not to be enthusiastic to the point of driving us mad about anything she ever felt strongly on? That, my dear, is not the Charlotte I was expecting to see when a suitor she preferred would come along. Something is missing but I just can’t put my finger on it.'


	13. A Sad Announcement

Chapter Thirteen: 

The news came by way of a letter from Mary two weeks later. The Great Lady of Sanditon, Lady Denham, had succumbed to her illness and had drifted away to a more peaceful place in her poorly unconsciousness. Charlotte wrote back to Mary noting her sadness at this unfortunate event and her gratefulness in being able to speak with her during the regatta for one last time. It was the year 1820 and Lady Denham has managed to outlive two husbands, kings and queens, earning her herself the title of The Great Lady of Sanditon all while reaching the ripe old fine age of two and seventy. 

The letter though that Charlotte wrote to Esther was vastly different. Knowing that in the last year of her life, Esther had made Lady Denham proud, and in their own unique way, both ladies had found a form of friendship and respect on equal terms. No matter what front or appearances Esther may put on, Charlotte was sure that Esther would feel the pain and loss immensely, and wrote her letter as such. 

***

Charlotte had been out surveying the Heywood Estate’s cottages with her father in another of her many attempts to convince him to renovate them. This time just as unsuccessful as the last. 

‘My dear if I invest in this project, it will mean less money I can contribute to a new mill grinder I need to purchase for the Estate. It simply comes down to this, grain means people eating, keeping hunger at bay and people surviving. Renovating cottages will result in empty cottages as there will be little for our tenants to eat and if they do not die of starvation, they will be forced to move on.’ - her Father rationalised. 

‘But Papa! I know someone who will help design and manage the project for very little.’ - Charlotte said thinking of Mr. Stringer. 

‘And who on earth would be daft enough to take on this project for little or no income. Really now Charlotte!’ 

‘Someone who needs something on his portfolio to further his progression. That is who! Someone with ambition who will make a financial sacrifice to say that he has built his own project, on his own merit!’ 

They had arrived back at the house by this stage of the conversation. Mr. Heywood and Charlotte arguing was never anything surprising in the Heywood Household. Mrs. Heywood called them ‘heated discussions’ as their differences of opinion usually came about from different approaches to the Estate’s management. Both parents agreed that if Charlotte had been born a boy, she would have made an excellent estate manager but as she was not, she usually left Mr. Heywood with many headaches in his efforts to try and contain his daughter’s ideas to the realities of the Estate’s situation. 

‘Charlotte I said no. Now please leave me be for a few moments!’ - Mr. Heywood said closing the door to his study. 

Thoroughly disgruntled, Charlotte turned on her heels and returned to the kitchen to find her Mother cutting and priming some herbs and spices. 

‘One day Mama, Papa is going to have to accept that some modernisation and progressive planning will need to be introduced onto the Estate. Otherwise we will risk getting left behind.’

‘Charlotte my dear. Be easy on your Father. He knows what he is doing.’ - hoping that would stave off Charlotte for a few minutes, quietly acknowledging what Charlotte said in her own mind privately. ‘By the way, a dispatch arrived for you while you were out with your Papa. It is by the window’. 

Charlotte was puzzled by this as she was not expecting anything today. She had not yet herself replied to Mr. Harlow’s letter that had arrived the day previously. She opened it, read it and then said -

‘Mama what do you make of this?’

‘I don’t know child unless you read it out to me.’

It read:

‘Dear Miss Heywood, 

I am deeply sorry to report of the passing of one Lady Denham of Sanditon in recent times.

I am writing to you on behalf of her Estate acting as the executor of her last will and testimony. The reading of the will will take place in Sanditon on XX day of XX month in the year of eighteen hundred and twenty AD. Your presence will be required on this same date in Sanditon. 

Lord Babington has instructed me to inform you that he will send a carriage for you the day prior. He will join you en route and complete the remainder of the journey with you. He and his wife, the Lady Babington, have requested that you remain with them in Sanditon House for the duration of your stay, and at a time of your choosing, a carriage will be organised to take you to a destination of your choosing.

I, myself, as executor, will be in attendance so I look forward to making your acquaintance in light of these sad events.

With regards,

Mr. Thomas Brambrose Esquire of Bambrose Legal Practitioners, London’

‘Hmmm’ - Mrs. Heywood remarked. ‘What date is that letter marked? Tell me that Lord Babington’s carriage is not arriving tomorrow?’

‘It is Mama. Tomorrow.’ - Charlotte said reading the letter again for a third time. ‘Tomorrow.’

Mrs. Heywood stopped what she was preparing and looked up. ‘I will speak to your Father. Charlotte go and review your wardrobe. You do not have much time.’

And Charlotte walked away to her room with the letter in one hand shaking her head in confusion. Why was she of all people been called to the reading of Lady Denham’s last will and testimony. Surely that is a matter for family only. ‘Esther must be in need of some support I suppose.’ she pondered.


	14. A Toast to the Future

Chapter Fourteen: 

The carriage rolled up in front of The Crown Inn where upon Lord Babington dismounted to retrieve some post he was expecting. Miss Heywood had fallen asleep not long after he had joined her on the journey and was still asleep as the carriage came within distance of Sanditon. She was completely unaware that the carriage had come to a halt as she was deep in her slumber. 

Babington collected his post and fortuitously met with Sidney.

‘Ah Parker. Well met.’

‘Indeed.’ said Sidney surprised to see his old friend back in Sanditon. ‘What has you back her in Sanditon so soon after Lady D’s funeral? Is all well with Esther?’

‘Yes! Yes! Nothing to worry about on that front. We have the joyful task of the reading of the will tomorrow. Lady D’s lawyer is coming from London to execute her estate.’

‘I assume all the proceeds have been donated to your wife. You’re not expecting a surprise visit from Sir Edward surely?’

‘No. No. The last I heard of him was that he took to the continent and quite frankly he can remain there for an eternity.’

‘Well one never knows with a character such as him. He may be assuming that due to some strange act of loyalty from Lady D that she has left him a gesture of some sort!’ - Sidney added.

‘Hmmmm. Esther assures me that the two of them spoke a lot as to what Lady D.’s wishes were so I don’t anticipate any surprises. I doubt it but point taken.’ - Babington then made to leave before turning back to Sidney - ‘On another topic, would you mind calling over to Sanditon House tomorrow after the reading of the will? We should have covered all the formalities by noon. Would that suit? I have a little bit of business to discuss with you.’ 

‘Yes I can do that. Would you like to shed any light on what type of business?’ 

‘Not quite at this moment of time. It can wait until tomorrow.’ - Babington began to realise that he needed to get back to the carriage and bid his farewell to Sidney until the following day. Once Babington climbed inside the carriage, he apologised to Miss Heywood who was beginning to wake up. He did so without mentioning his meeting with Sidney as much as he failed to disclose who his companion was in the carriage to Sidney.

***

After breakfast the following morning, Mr. Brambrose arrived with papers in hand. They gathered in Lady Denham’s saloon with its darkened ornate walls and deep windows. In the room were Lord and Lady Babington, Miss Heywood - still confused as to why her presence was required -, Mr. Brambrose and what felt like the ghost of Lady Denham keeping a watchful eye over them. As Miss Heywood looked around her, she whispered into the air that all would be as it should to that ghostly spirit lingering around the room. 

Mr. Brambrose began: - 

‘I would like to thank you for making yourself available for the reading of the last will and testimony of Lady Denham of Sanditon who left us recently. We wish her to a better place.’ He continued raising his hands and eyes up to the heavens. 

Esther whispered to her husband - ‘If she has not made it to a better place, I fear for whoever she is with wherever she is.’ - and giggled. 

Mr. Brambrose continued: -

‘On behalf of the company of Brambrose Legal Practitioners, we would like to extend our sympathies to the family and friends of Lady Denham. We have had the honour of looking after her affairs for more than fifty years as well as the affairs of her late husband’s. 

‘As I am sure you aware, Lady Denham updated her will in recent times taking into account the unseemly events around Sir Edward Denham last summer and without further ado, I would like to read out to you her last wishes.’ 

Charlotte turned around to the room and asked ‘Should I really be there? This sounds very much like a family affair.’ to which Esther turned around to her and shushed her. 

After clearing his throat, Mr. Brambrose commenced to read out verbatim the document that he held in his hands given it the utmost importance in the room. It read as follows: 

To whom it may concern, 

I, Lady Mildred Jane Denham, residing at Sanditon House, Sanditon, declare this to be my Will, and I revoke any and all wills and codicils I previously made.

I direct my executors, Brambrose Legal Practitioners, to pay my enforceable unsecured debts and funeral expenses, the expenses of my last illness, and the expenses of administering my estate.

In relation to all my residences, I leave Sanditon House to my niece, Lady Esther Babington along with the full estate, grounds and assets as so connected to the Sanditon Estate. There is no mortgage attached to any residence or property and I direct my executors to cover any expenses accrued in administering this. 

The Denham title will as the laws of heritage and aristocracy dictate be endowed unto the nearest male heir in the Denham line. This therefore endows the Denham title to Sir Edward Denham. My executors have been directed to organise the appointment of this to Sir Edward Denham and will seek to contact him to administer this.

The total value of my private fortune has amounted to the sum of sixty thousand, four hundred and eighty nine pounds at time of my demise. This has come about from some shrewd investments over time and all accounts are available from my executors. 

I am very much minded that there has been some keen interest in my fortune. To this end, I would like to confirm that this will has been made with sound mind and my executors have signed an affidavit to confirm this. I wish there to be no doubt as to my final wishes. Therefore, I instruct my executors to endow the following on my behalf:

\- Half of my fortune to my niece, Lady Babington  
\- Fifteen thousand to be invested solely into the Sanditon Project to be overseen by Lord Babington on behalf of the Sanditon Estate  
\- Five thousand to be spent on the redevelopment of the Sanditon Donkey Sanctuary with particular attention to the promotion of the Sanditon Ass’ Milk as a health supplement. 

To the observant, you will have noticed by now that there is still a remaining ten thousand outstanding. On this, I want to make clear that the following be adhered to unchallenged. 

I did not have the fortunate luck or fulfilment of having children as much as I had desired it so. The closest I came to having children were my nephew and niece. Many tried various ways of getting their hands on my money and all but one failed to live up to goodness and honour it deserved. That one can already be ascertained within this will already. It has given me great pleasure and solace to get to know my niece better over the last year. To see her happy and settled in life has allowed me to rest easier in my last days. I discovered a friendship and respect with my niece I never realised I needed until recently and I hope she has been able to take similar solace from it as well. 

However, there is another who both myself and my niece would like acknowledged within my will - Miss Charlotte Heywood of Willingdon. Miss Heywood arrived in our lives like a gust of fresh and innocent wind. She challenged; she assisted; she opinionated; she did everything a young lady ought not to do. But yet, she made us all sit up and take notice. More than this, she did in the most kindest, non-judgemental and most loyal of fashions. Her support and sacrifice for the Sanditon Project did not go unnoticed. And more dearly to me, she was a great friend to my niece helping her along her road to marital contentment. Many have said that I have no heart but I can assure you my heart was touched as much as my heart could be. Therefore, I bestow upon Miss Heywood the sum of ten thousand which is to go unchallenged. 

There ends my last will and testimony’

Mr. Brambrose then concluded by naming the witnesses, the date of the will and the existence of the affidavit. 

The room quietened. All that could be heard was the ticking of the clock on the mantelpiece. Charlotte was stunned. She began to protest that the will had been incorrect. There was no possible way that Lady Denham had bestowed upon her the grand sum of ten thousand pounds. 

Mr. Brambrose chirped in - ‘This will is as stated and is legally all correct and in order. We have already begun the exercise of tracing down Sir Edward.’ 

As Charlotte looked over to Esther and Babington, they were sitting together smiling at her; their combined expressions willing her to believe what she had just heard. 

‘Husband. Mr. Brambrose. Could I ask you to give Miss Heywood and I a moment together please?’ - Esther asked of the room. Both men nodded and left. 

‘Charlotte. I know this may all come as a shock to you.’ 

‘A shock? That’s one word for it. Disbelief! Madness! Wrong! Negligence! Something is wrong with that will I tell you!’ - Charlotte rose to walk around the room. 

‘No Charlotte there is nothing wrong with the will. This is as my Aunt wanted. 

‘Charlotte! Stop pacing the room and come sit by me and I will explain.’ 

Charlotte sat by Esther. 

‘When you were last here, just before Lady Denham passed, all was confirmed in my Aunt’s mind after that meeting. You underestimate her admiration for you. She saw a lot of her in you, you know.’

‘But why Esther? That’s what I do not understand. Why did she leave so much money? I am not family. I did little directly to help her.’ 

Esther injected - ‘Charlotte I never thought as myself as having friends. I had acquaintances. Edward saw to that. But when all was revealed last summer, you were the first person to come find me, to stand by me, to not judge me. That I can never thank you enough for. 

‘So I proposed to my Aunt that she should leave you a sum of money that would leave you financially secure for the rest of your life by way of grateful thanks. I argued that I had no need for the full amount of her fortune as Babington came very comfortable in that regard. She was not particularly inclined to leave a vast amount to the Sanditon in light of the financial mess that Tom Parker created despite Sidney taking care of that side of business these days. When I said that I did not want all her fortune, she was left with a bit of a conundrum. 

‘The moment you left here the last time, she turned around to me and said that she agreed with my proposal. When I asked her why, she reminded me about her own adventures in love and when she was younger than we are now, she was overlooked by a suitor in favour of another with a bigger fortune than hers. You reminded her of that. She admitted that that experience had left her cynical about marriage and her way of coping with it was to use marriage as a means of ensuring financial security for the duration of her lifetime. She supposed over time that chasing this probably resulted in her lack of children as there was never much love within her marriages. 

‘I do believe that in these last few years of her life, my Aunt was admitting to be a hopeless romantic after all. I think it rubbed off on me too but I dare you never to repeat that to a soul!’ 

Esther held Charlotte’s hands as Charlotte remained to look stunned and shocked by these revelations. 

‘But ten thousand Esther. Ten thousand! What am I to do with ten thousand?’ 

‘Oh I’m sure you will be able to think of something. Charlotte, my dearest of friends, please do take this in the spirit of which it is intended. Both I and my Aunt want to say thank you. Neither of us would have gained this amount of happiness without your involvement in our lives. Please.’ - Esther implored her. 

‘I just can’t believe it Esther. I just can’t.’ 

‘I know what will help. Let me find you something strong to drink to jolt you out of the shock. I wonder where my husband has disappeared off to.’ - and there Esther left Charlotte in the saloon alone. 

She found Babington in conversation with the lawyer who had just called for his carriage. 

‘Husband my dear. Is that other plan we discussed in place?’ 

‘Yes I told him midday. How is Miss Heywood?’

‘As expected. Shocked and almost abhorred by the thought that she is now a very wealthy young lady. I will send her out in due course for that walk as we agreed to do so let me know when he arrives.’ 

***

Midday arrived and with it came a carriage to Sanditon House. 

Esther and Babington waited in the main hall ready to greet their visitor. 

‘I have sent Charlotte out towards the forest up by the lake on the hill well out of sight of the house’ - Esther informed her husband. He nodded his head. 

‘You are sure about this Esther?’ - he asked. 

‘Yes’ - she replied reassuringly. ‘Give them some time to come to some agreement and hopefully they’ll both be able to …. I don’t know what exactly but someone has to do something. They are our friends after all.’ 

‘This is risky business I warn you. Sidney is not one for being manipulated into owning his feelings.’ 

‘We can but try to help them. Oh Lord!’ Esther exclaimed. ‘Who is that with him? Husband tell me it is not who I think it is. Did you not say to come alone?’

‘Well I assumed he would. You will have to do your very best to be nice if not a little civil to her Esther and keep her entertained. You know this may take a while with Sidney.’ 

‘As much as I love you, dear Husband, sometimes I feel you assume too much of my acting skills but obey you I will! Why could he have not married someone we actually enjoyed the company off!’ - Esther went to greet her guests as the new lady of Sanditon House as their butler met them. ‘Mr. Parker. Mrs. Parker. How delightful to see you. What a surprise!’ 

‘Lady Babington’ Sidney began. ‘Are we still on those formalities?’ he smiled at her like an old friend finding another after time apart. ‘Is that husband of yours about? He asked me to call upon him today at midday to discuss some business matter with him.’ 

‘Did he? Ah yes I recall something of such. He will be here in due course. We have not long completed the reading of Lady Denham’s will. Frightful business when all is said and done. Mrs. Parker shall we leave the gentlemen to their business and take some tea? And while you are here I would love some of your London expertise in redesigning the east wing of the house. I will take you on a tour.’ - Esther whisked Eliza away without affording her any opportunity to respond. 

As the ladies disappeared, Babington arrived ‘ Ah there you are. Come with me. I have something to take care off out beyond the piggery. You can walk with me and we can talk.’ 

‘Piggery Babington?’ Sidney said amused. 

‘Yes piggery Sidney. Out towards the forest up by the lake on the hill’.

***

Both men were well beyond the confines of the great house to be able to talk freely. Up until this point, Sidney was feeling very bemused by his old friend’s ability in making the most inane small talk. 

‘Babington. We have been walking now for almost twenty minutes and the piggery is in sight. Tell me. What is this really about?’ - Sidney asked. 

Babington sighed. ‘You and I. How long have we been friends now?’ 

‘For too many years I care to remember. Are we to enjoy a trip down memory lane?’ 

‘No we are not. In fact, the opposite. The future.’ 

‘Babington! I am about to come to the end of my tether with this. Why am I here?’ - Sidney beginning to lose patience. 

‘You know we had the reading of Lady D’s will this morning?’

‘Yes you mentioned it yesterday. Did Edward make an appearance after all?’ 

‘No nothing like that. He gets to keep the Denham title as expected and no more. Nothing changed on that front. I am to oversee an investment of fifteen thousand into the Sanditon Project so you will be seeing more of me. No Sidney, it is something else I want to discuss with you. I have not quite been honest with you.’

‘Really? I’m beginning to sense a little of that already.’ 

‘We have a guest staying with us. She was with me in the carriage yesterday and I did not reveal it to you then.’

‘She?’ - Sidney enquired fearing he was going to be told something he’d rather not hear.

‘Yes. She.’ - Babington allowed a moment to see if Sidney would guess who he meant. Sidney remained quiet. With slight trepidation, he expanded - 

‘Miss Heywood came with me yesterday for the reading of the will.’ 

‘Babington I’m not sure as to why you feel it is necessary to disclose who your house guests are.’ - Sidney offering resistance to the conversation. This was the point in the conversation that Babington feared the most, when Sidney would return to his defensive place of anger at the world. 

‘She has been left the amount of ten thousand from Lady Denham.’ - Babington let that new information hang in the air for a moment. 

‘And she has been quite overwhelmed by it.’ 

‘Babington! Again I ask what interest should this be to me?’

‘Enough now Sidney!’ - this time Babington was beginning to lose his patience with Sidney. ‘Do you really believe that those who know you the best and the longest are oblivious to your situation?’

‘My situation?’ 

‘Yes your situation! You are in love with Miss Heywood but you are married to another!’ 

‘Babington! Be careful! You are treading on thin ice I warn you. Talk like that is dangerous if indeed true. You know how I longed for Eliza for years.’

‘Oh I know! I was there for most of those years, watching you close the shutters to opportunities, and other women. And then from nowhere, Miss Heywood turns up and Mr. Sidney Parker as we knew him disappeared for a while and a better man emerged. A better friend in fact. And as your friend, I have to tell you, what is happening now needs to stop. Getting drunk, the fights, locking yourself away in your study, and whatever general disgruntlement you have found yourself in; it all needs to stop!’ 

‘Don’t let honesty hold you back Babington!’ 

‘I mean it Sidney. You chose a particular path and you now need to keep to it.’

‘You could have said this to me without dragging me out here you know!’ 

‘Yes I could have but there is also something else I want to say to you on behalf of myself and my wife.’ - Babington paused. ‘When it comes to Miss Heywood, you must never hold back on your feelings on her with us. You have our trust and confidence implicitly as she has ours too. You never need to hide with us.’ 

‘What are you suggesting? Some sort of torrid affair here in Sanditon House?’

‘No of course not. I think the Denham name has had enough of that for one generation. No we mean you do not need to deny your feelings for her with us. We admire what you did for your family although I wish you had spoken to me first before committing to an engagement with Eliza. I may have been able to help. But we cannot undo what has been done.’ 

‘Hah! Speaking to you first? That sounded like something Miss Heywood said to me recently. I believed that conversation was private between Miss Heywood and I. It seems I was wrong!’ 

‘Sidney I have no idea as to what you are referring! I have not spoken to Miss Heywood about this at all. She is completely unaware that I am even speaking to you on this. 

‘I do not wish to fight with you. Miss Heywood is out there just ahead and she needs you right now. Go to her. Make your peace with her. Give her some guidance. She has just been given some immense news and she will not know who to trust when it comes to her newfound wealth.’

Sidney absorbed what was being said to him. - ‘Ten thousand you say?’ 

‘Yes ten thousand. It turns out that Lady D along with my wife put their heads together and came up with a plan to ensure that Miss Heywood would be taken care of. I only found out recently after Lady D had passed away.’ 

They had long reached the piggery. 

‘Sidney I do not mean to cause you any more distress than what you may be experiencing already. But you must trust that you are not alone in this. We are here as your closest friends to do whatever you need us to do. Our loyalities lie with you and Miss Heywood.

‘Carry on up the path and you will find Miss Heywood Sidney. Be a friend to her and help her through this. Be that man who loves her.’ 

‘And after that? What happens then?’

‘I think that depends on you. I will wait here for you. Take as long as you may need. Then we will return to the house together for the want of appearances; it will appear that you spent your time with me.’ - Babington reached out his left hand to rest of Sidney’s shoulder. - ‘Go to her and take care of her.’

***

He spotted her sitting on the trunk of a fallen tree. The sun shone done through the leaves and cast its brightness on Charlotte. Her eyes were closed as if she were asleep. He looked on her as one would look upon a thing of beauty. 

As he approached her, Sidney felt the onset of nerves and indecision. Was this indeed a good idea or not he argued with himself. 

‘Charlotte’ he said gently. 

Charlotte jumped up with surprise her reverie interrupted. ‘Mr. Parker. What are you doing here?’ 

‘Babington asked me to come over on a matter of business.’ – He paused before asking ‘May we talk?’ indicating if it were acceptable for him to sit down on the tree trunk next to her. She nodded. 

‘Babington filled me in on the details of Lady D’s will. You had no sign from Esther or Lady D that that was their intention?’ 

‘None at all. I can hardly believe it myself. Ten thousand! Whatever am I to do with ten thousand pounds?’ – Charlotte paced from one side of the tree trunk to the other. ‘It is too much!’

‘Nonsense. It is well deserved. We have all seen how good you have been to the Denham family. If this is their wish, it is to be honoured. They want you to have financial security and independence for the rest of your life. That can only be a good thing.’ 

‘You believe?’ – Charlotte asked of him. ‘I just do not know what to think. It is so overwhelming.’ 

‘I can appreciate that. I remember when I made my first significant fortune in Antigua. It made me quite giddy. I spent a lot of it straight away throwing caution to the wind but it was Georgiana’s father who pointed out to me the efforts of the workers who had helped me make my fortune and some mean of decorum was required if there was any sense of decency to be had from earning a fortune on the back of slavery. I felt considerably guilty thereafter and whenever I earned a good investment, I ensured to do something noble with it as well protecting my own interests. But you do not want to hear about that now. Your mind is trying to come to terms with this sudden change in your fortunes.’ – Sidney concluded. 

Charlotte looked at him with different eyes than the last time she had met him. ‘What do you propose I do?’ she asked him. 

‘Well to begin with. Stop for a moment and take a breath. You are worked up into a state of panic and this will only agitate your mind even more.’ 

‘Yes indeed quite.’ – she turned away from him and drew a deep breath. ‘Now what?’ 

Sidney chuckled to himself. He could always see that she was a natural do-er, always wanting to contribute and even now, she still couldn’t afford herself a few minutes to rest still. ‘Charlotte have some faith. These things take time. Let it rest with you for a few days and see how you feel about such a large inheritance in a week or two. What this amount of fortune offers is time. Time to reflect on what it is you really want to do, not what someone else will tell you what to do. You are now a woman of financial independence. You have no need to report or account yourself to anyone from here on in.’

‘Yes. Yes. You are right.’ Charlotte agreed. ‘However there are some things that I can now be getting on with.’ 

Sidney could but not help himself smile – ‘Indeed such as?’

‘Well for a start, I can invest in our Estate at home. I have been pestering my Father for some time now to upgrade our tenants’ cottages. There has always been something else more pressing on the Estate that he needs to commit himself to so the cottages remain as so. I can get Mr. Stringer to draw up plans for them. I know he is keen to dedicate himself to a project like this. We will be able to even pay him a salary for his time. That is a start for sure. That would be something worthwhile and fulfilling I can do with this money. But ....Ten thousand! What am I ever to do with ten thousand!’ 

‘I would recommend you invest some of it in order to secure a long term source of income from it as well.’ 

‘Yes that too. That sounds sensible. Oh but where am I to start? I know a little of these things but not a lot.’

‘Charlotte if you are agreeable I would like to offer you the use of my broker. He will guide you through these things and I will make sure that you are not taken advantage of either this way.’ – Sidney bravely proposed unsure of what reception this would receive. 

Charlotte turned to look at him, for the first time in this conversation, taking him in. 

He continued – ‘Please let me do this for you. In the spirit of friendship it is intended.’ 

‘Friendship?’ – Charlotte replied unsure it that was a question or a statement. ‘Oh Sidney. Friends? You know we can never be friends.’ She made her way over to him and sat down next to him. She took his hands in hers. Sidney looked a little forlorn by her response. She went to remove a few small leaves that had fallen off a tree above and onto his head. It was a gesture of the utmost intimacy. She looked at him again – ‘We can never be friends as there is too much between us. And besides I suspect other parties would not allow us to be friends even if we could’. 

‘Yes Mr. Harlow’ – Sidney said sandwiching her hands amongst his own. 

‘Your wife for another’ – she added. 

‘That too!’ – he looked at her drinking her in. ‘What are we ever to do Charlotte?’ 

‘We are to carry on as we are Sidney. You with your life and me with mine irrespective of how hard it will be.

‘However I will take you up on that offer of your broker if you don’t mind. I think that would be a practical help’ 

‘Good’ – Sidney looked at her with a smile. ‘That would equally reassure me that you are being well cared for. Unless Mr. Harlow would object?’ 

‘He will never know of the connection.’ – Charlotte said aloud of her plan. ‘This is about what I feel right for me and I trust you Sidney.’ 

‘Sidney! You said my first name. You have rarely called me by my first name. I like it.’ – Sidney lovingly looked at her. As they sat there on the tree trunk, he leaned his head into hers and the two of them joined as one in mind and spirit for the briefest of moments. He followed this up with the softest of kisses on her lips before he gave her another kiss on her forehead. He took in every opportunity he had with her and Charlotte was a willing participant. 

‘Charlotte promise me that you will never doubt my feelings for you.’

She looked up into his eyes – ‘No. I know your true feelings for me. And you know mine for you. Never doubt them either. Promise me?’

‘Yes I promise.’ 

‘There is something I need to tell you Charlotte but I do not know how you will respond. It is my wife.’ – he paused with uncertainty. ‘She is with child.’ 

‘Oh!’ Charlotte responded indeed unsure of her thoughts on this. She supposed quickly to herself that it was only a matter of time and she had told him to love his wife for as much as she loved him. ‘I offer you my sincerest congratulations.’ 

‘You do?’ 

‘Yes I do. Sidney you will make a wonderful father. Have some faith in yourself’ 

‘No it is not that. It is ...’ – Sidney took a breadth. ‘Last year when I thought of being a father, it was something I dismissed as nonsense as I was not suitable father material. I was Uncle Sidney and that was as far as I wanted to commit. But then you came along. And well we know about those events. I allowed myself to believe that I could be a father but with you alongside me. This now....I was not prepared for this.’ 

‘Oh Sidney. You must not think like this. You will make the best of fathers. I can tell. And whatever you may have thought about a future that’s not to be, it will all be forgotten the moment you set eyes on your child. That is a different type of love which will blow all others out of the water.’ 

‘You think?’ 

‘I know’ – Charlotte responded giving him a reassuring smile with it. ‘In our own ways Sidney the future is bright. You with a child on its way and I with a considerable fortune now.’ 

‘And what about Mr. Harlow? Is he not in your future?’ 

‘Mr. Harlow... hmmmm’ – Charlotte’s mind drifted off. ‘That is another thought for another day’. Charlotte leaned herself into Sidney allowing him to put his arms around her. ‘Not for today.’ Sidney held her well and warmly. They stayed like this for some minutes, neither of them willing to let the other go. It was Sidney who went to move first. 

‘Charlotte I need to return to the house. Eliza is there.’ 

‘Oh. You should have said.’ 

‘I did not want to.’ – he said shrugging his shoulders. ‘Walk me down as far as the piggery.’

‘The piggery?’ Charlotte enquired.

‘Yes the piggery. Babington is waiting there for me. Best not to enquire.’ – he said with a hint of laughter in his voice recalling his earlier conversation with his friend. 

He held out his hand to her and she accepted it happily complete in the knowledge that from their situation they could remain unspotted. They walked in silence, Sidney bringing her hand up to his lips every so often to kiss them. When they were just before the piggery and still out of sight, Sidney stopped them both. He turned Charlotte around to him. He placed a loving kiss on her lips and brought his head down to meet hers. 

‘We are almost there my dearest darling Charlotte. I must let you go now.’ 

Charlotte nodded her head in agreement. Her heart was heavy but somehow it felt settled and satisfied, as if matters between them for the moment were resolved in some way. He was somewhere on the same road if he actually knew how to qualify how he felt. 

Babington was outside the piggery talking with one of Sanditon House’s ground employees. He saw them approaching. ‘Well’ he thought to himself ‘there does not seem to be any blood spilt today. That can only be a good sign.’ Sidney and Charlotte walked over to the piggery like two children reporting to their elders that they had done something wrong – their heads down looking sheepish. Babington acknowledged both of them and said to Sidney ‘We should be getting back.’; and to Charlotte he said ‘I hope you will understand when I ask you Miss Heywood to remain here out of sight of the house until the carriage has left?’ Charlotte nodded in agreement. Babington went to leave. Sidney turned to Charlotte. He held her hands and leaned his head into her. They closed their eyes and briefly held each other as they were. ‘Remember Sidney. All will be well and don’t forget to ask your broker to contact me.’ Charlotte said stepping back smiling and released him. ‘I will Miss Heywood. I will.’

*** 

After dinner that evening, Babington left the ladies to chat through the day’s events. 

‘Tell me Charlotte. Have you given any thought to what you will do with your inheritance?’ Esther asked. 

‘It’s all I’ve been thinking about.’ 

‘And not Sidney Parker?’ 

‘Esther!’ Charlotte rebuked her. 

‘You know what we say between us is between us Charlotte. Come now! Is all well between you?’ 

‘Yes it is. For the first time in a while, I believe it is.’ 

‘So do you want to hear how my afternoon went? Stuck with Mrs. Eliza Parker. She really is horrid!’

‘No Esther I do not. I am sure she cannot be as bad as all that.’ 

‘Oh Charlotte! You really are no fun! Who else can I talk to you about my husband’s best friend’s wife! Don’t look at me like that all disapprovingly.’

‘I will allow you to tell me anything of substantial interest but no idle gossip I warn you. I know you Esther.’

‘I will endeavour to try! And now with all this money you now have, where does Mr. Harlow now figure in the picture?’ 

‘Sidney asked me the same question.’ Charlotte’s mind drifted off. 

‘And? How did you answer?’ 

‘I did not answer. I did not know how to answer. I still do not know. I am going to leave that for another day.’ 

‘So our carriage is at your disposal to take you wherever you wish to go. You just tell us what you want and we will organise it. But in the meantime, I think we should raise a glass or two to my Aunt. But no ass's milk. I never want to hear another word about ass’s milk ever again.’

With that, both ladies giggled in their own company. 

‘To Lady Denham!’


	15. A Royal Occasion

Chapter Fifteen:

The seasons changed. The sun turned the tree leaves a beautiful golden hue. Snowflakes then began to fall. Charlotte returned home after the revelation of her new found fortune and settled in the love and warmth of her family. The Heywood world was complete with all children under the one roof again. When Charlotte told her parents of her new wealth, it had been her Mother who appeared to be the most shocked. Her Father’s first reaction was to hug her and congratulate her on her good luck. His sense of pride in her knew no bounds. 

It was a tumultuous few days afterwards as Charlotte laid out her plans for the Estate. Her Father, despite his initial enthusiasm for the money, preferred Charlotte to keep it for her own uses. Charlotte said her uses lay in the development of the Heywood Estate. This then came with the ‘heated discussions’ on the plans for the tenants’ cottages after which Charlotte steamed ahead on her plans irrespective. She employed Mr. Stringer as her architect and he spent several weeks under the Heywood roof getting acquainted with the family, in turn almost becoming one of them. No sooner had he completed that project that Charlotte engaged him to extend the Heywood House which had not been updated since the days of the last Tudor king. This time it was her Mother who Charlotte had the ‘heated discussions’ with but when all was said and done, both parents realised that Charlotte’s investment would improve their lives immensely. Each of the older children would have a room each offering them some privacy and solitude away from the busy hub of the heart of the family. Mrs. Heywood had her kitchen extended. Mr. Heywood drew the line at his study. There was during this period a present state of mayhem and activity in the house and the family relished in its happy madness. When Charlotte proposed buying some new inventive machinery for the farm offering them a means to increase the incomes of the family and their tenants, Mr. Heywood had gone past the point of conceding and acquiesced relatively easily. In time, both parents came around to the realisation that Charlotte’s investment guaranteed the Estate and their children a secure future not just in their lifetimes but for generations to come. The Heywood Estate would flourish and as a result the village of Willingdon would thrive.

Mr. Stringer was sorry to leave Willingdon when all the building works had been completed in the last days of spring. The Heywoods had been more than employers or hosts, they became family. Charlotte not only offered him her friendship and loyalty but her family came to be on the same terms with him as well. ‘Never...’ - her Father said to him on his departure – ‘...Never be afraid to call us your family. You will always have a home here.’ And so he sadly left but not back to Sanditon. Now with another two projects to add to his portfolio, Charlotte’s friends in London helped him acquire another apprenticeship. This time one that allowed him to expedite his training deemed as he was too experienced to warrant starting at the beginning. The great streets and buildings of London beckoned for Mr. Stringer. 

Life in Willingdon after that winter was never to be the same again.

***

As for our dear Miss Heywood, the months had passed by quickly. She had never felt so occupied, so enthralled by all the planning and activity to be found with the work on the Estate. It was not just the Estate that she engaged herself with – it was all things Willingdon. After her experience in Sanditon, she had her own ideas of new events and activities the village could put on. When Charlotte walked with her head full of ideas, she oozed confidence in her plans and rarely took no as an answer. Even to the point that their vicar sent a note to her Father asking for him to control his daughter and her ambitions. Suffice to say, the vicarage was occupied by another not long after. Charlotte had always been a popular Heywood child, taking people as she found them, fighting for tenants’ rights, and correcting a wrong when she saw one. Any criticism of this Heywood Girl from the pulpit did not get well received by its audience. 

Charlotte had been home no more than a fortnight when a letter was received from a brokerage in London. It was marked that ‘A mutual friend who sought to remain anonymous’ had instructed them to contact her to discuss her future investments. She gladly accepted and apportioned off some of her wealth in various investments. She maintained regular contact with her broker who gave her regular updates on how her money was accumulating. From time to time, there was a mention of ‘Our mutual friend recommends....’ to which Charlotte always followed the instruction offered. Those were the special letters that Charlotte filed in a special box among her affairs. These were the moments that Charlotte’s mind drifted off elsewhere and she retired to her room. When she closed her eyes, she sensed his presence in her life, imagining his warm arms around her, holding her, protecting her. This was the only indulgence she allowed herself when she would frequently go without in her own material world. 

As for Mr. Harlow, they maintained a regular communication of letters with Mr. Harlow regularly visiting. In return, Charlotte was invited to his family’s country estate for Christmas followed by a stay at Lady Susan’s country estate. The other guests on both visits included poets, musicians and romantics. She was intrigued and glued to their conversations, hearing them debate and discuss ideals and philosophies of great matter. They invited her to express an opinion regularly and within that intellectual world there was hardly a mind that would say that a young lady should keep her opinions to herself. The female body and mind was to be adored and savoured. And the Harlow family welcomed her as one of their own with no judgements. 

These visits also allowed her ample time to spend with Mr. Harlow, in fact, almost an entire month of being in each other’s company. Still adhering to the rules of their courtship, they tentatively made steps to get to know each other’s mind, vices and joys. He made her smile, made her laugh, it was easy to be with Mr. Harlow. It was as if his sole purpose was to charm and make her happy. And Charlotte did not protest. It was a difficult challenge for her not to be drawn into his cheerful aura. 

But something was still amiss. When she returned from her visits, it was noted by her father that she would be so enthused by all the interesting minds she had met, she rarely mentioned Mr. Harlow. It was a strange thing he thought to himself. He said to his wife one day that when they were courting, his mind was full of her and he could not be stopped from talking about her all the time. His wife reluctantly agreed. It was a strange affair indeed. 

Mr. Harlow when away from Miss Heywood would dedicate his time to getting his fledgling business off the ground. When he was not with her he wrote to her profusely seeking her advice on many business matters. The one thing one could say about Mr. Harlow – was that he was a shrewd man. He saw how Charlotte managed her own new found wealth, something he warmly welcomed with no interference, and admired her good sense and capabilities with it. He was not reared or educated in financial matters, especially not the controlling of it, and easily admitted to Charlotte that she had been right in Rome – he had had an easy life. Charlotte did her best to advise and reassure him but sometimes even she admitted that some more frequent words of romantic encouragement would be preferable than his doubts about his financial affairs. 

At Christmas, Lady Esther Babington wrote to her about her own good news that she was with child. It was in early spring when she wrote again with the news that the Parkers had been delivered a son. Charlotte had opened the letter unaware of what the contents would be and once read the words could not be unread. As she took her walk on the Estate that afternoon, she held the letter in her hand. She read it, read it again and then read it again. Over and over again. She did not know why, possibly expecting that the words would have rewritten themselves. Mr. Stringer found her looking aimlessly out over their farm in a quiet spot she had found and when he asked if she were well, she looked at him, paused and said –

‘St. Augustine? Have you heard of him?’

‘I fear not Miss Charlotte.’ 

‘He was a philosopher.’ 

They began to walk quietly. 

‘Miss Charlotte are you well?’

‘Yes I am. My mind is elsewhere. I am just being thoughtful.’ 

In and amongst her emotions brought to the surface on the wake of the news in the letter, the following words whirled around her head – ‘Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all’. 

And this marked a rare moment that Charlotte allowed herself to feel sorry or sad about the past. 

***

The summer months approached, the Heywood Estate grew within its own skin healthily, and the only invite Charlotte accepted was a long overdue visit to London. Her connection to the Harlow family afforded her an invite to the King’s Trooping of the Colour Regal Ball in the Palace as the guest of the third son of the Earl of Wormwood. This was not an invite to be turned down. This was an introduction to the highest in society, and it was as her Mother pointed out, something she would need to get familiar with should the occasion of a marriage to a gentleman so well connected come about. This would be her world. 

She travelled to London in the new Heywood carriage and her arrival in London was marked by greetings from her old friend, Mr. Stratford. 

‘My dear! I declare that you will be the belle of the ball!’ and off he dragged her to a whirl of dressmakers appointment. 

‘Sir why this keen interest in my attire for the ball?’ 

‘Charlotte I come with you with the eyes of a red blooded man!’ 

‘Sir!’ 

‘Hush Charlotte! You know I like to outrage. 

‘No! No! Seriously you are right. I am taking an interest as I hope we can call ourselves close friends. I do not how to express myself without scaring you since it has after all taken this amount of time to get you to join us in London. 

‘I just want you to know that you will be the main attraction at this ball. Society has heard about you but they have never seen you. They have a name for you as well I'm afraid – ‘The Miss Heywood. The Intended Intended’! Don’t look like so horrified. There has been a vacuum where they had expected to see you and without seeing you, they have come to their own conclusions. 

‘When you go to this ball, you will not just be presented to the king, you will be doing so on the hand of one of the most eligible gentleman in London. You do realise that our young gentleman friend is well sought after by many mothers for their daughters. And he declines them all. For you my dear. For you! What do you say to that?

‘However at this ball, all eyes will be upon you as this will be the first time that they will see you two together as a couple. I do not mean to scare you but you need to be prepared. London society will be talking about this for weeks to come. You must give them the best Charlotte to gossip about!’

‘Sir I am sure you exaggerate... really!’

‘And this is why I am here with you right now. To save you for you!’ – guiding her towards a realisation that this was not just a ball in London, it was something altogether so much more. 

She wore a beautiful chiffon peach dress, her hair tied up in tiered curls, her skin clear as the white snow of the winter when the night arrived. She left the home of Lady Susan accompanied by her friends and her special companion filled with butterflies and nerves. Mr. Harlow held out his hand to help her out of the carriage when they arrived and before they walked into the Palace, he whispered to her – 

‘Charlotte you are a true beauty this evening. I will be the very proud gentleman who has the most fortunate luck to have you on my arm tonight. 

‘I know I do not say it often enough but you truly steal my heart away every time I see you.’ – Mr. Harlow bowed his head in a rare moment of shyness and declared – ‘I believe that I have fallen in love with you.’ 

Charlotte looked at him and smiled. – ‘Well Mr. Harlow it may have taken almost a year for you to admit it but I suppose better late than never!’ – mockingly scolding him. He took it in the spirit in which it was said and he cheekily replied – ‘There is still time to turn back you know!’ 

They giggled together with Mr. Harlow then saying – 

‘Miss Heywood, would you do me the honour of taking my hand and accompanying me into the Palace to meet with His Majesty, The King as my very, very special guest?’

‘It would be my honour my good Sir.’


	16. A Forward Question

Chapter Sixteen:

Charlotte bloomed in the specataular surroundings of the ball. And on presentation to the His Majesty, the King, Charlotte was faced by a curious king who was keen to hear about the up and coming town of Sanditon. 

‘Tell me my Child, is it half as beautiful as Brighton? My Pavilion there is a true treasure to me.’ – he asked.

‘Your Majesty, I could not say as I have never been to Brighton. But Sanditon ... there is something quite unique, thrilling, refreshing and so much more to Sanditon. I think sometimes a place is made by the people in it and I can only say from experience that I have had the pleasure of meeting some of the most interesting, exciting, and visionary people there. Maybe that is because I have not had the fortunate luck to have seen more places or met more people. I only can speak from what I found, and Sir, I can only simply say that it is truly a place where I came alive.’ – Charlotte elaborated. 

‘That sounds like high praise indeed. Our mutual friend, Susan...’ – he whispered to her – ‘has given a fine account of the resort. Tell me! Do you believe that a visit from the King would be welcomed in Sanditon?’ 

‘Your Majesty, I could not think of a more grateful and appreciative of people should you decide to visit one day. I believe it would be a fine idea indeed!’ 

‘Well then Miss Heywood, maybe one day I will. I thank you for your recommendation.’ – And there the King moved onto his next guest. 

Charlotte and Mr. Harlow danced and laughed all evening long enjoying their own company. Mr. Harlow exuded a state of pride in his partner that the general consensus of the room was that a proposal must surely be coming. Charlotte’s friends were very careful to keep her a sufficient distance away from any ideal talk. The world of the Beau Monde could be a sea of serpents to the novice and they were all agreed that Charlotte's formal introduction to it was done where no one with any ill intent could damage her reputation. 

When all was considered, the evening had been a true success. To the point that the mention of a certain Miss Heywood made it to the national papers, again with the suggestion that young Mr. Harlow would shortly be off the matrimonial market. All her Sanditon friends wrote to her congratulating her on her success in their various ways. The summer was proving to be a happy season. 

***

There was only one matter that caused Charlotte some discourse. Mr. Harlow would be removing himself back to Italy to further his business affairs in late September. He did not know how long for as the whole business was coming to a critical juncture that would make or break its success. 

Before that though, there was to be the happy event of the christening of Lord and Lady Babington first born son at their country estate. Mr. Harlow was to accompany our Miss Heywood by way of a parting before he travelled onto Dover. 

The day arrived and the good and the gracious of the Babingtons' circle came together. Family connections were hosted in the main house, among them Miss Heywood as the special friend of Lady Babington. Esther normally found herself outnumbered by the Babington family when they all came together so this was her way of trying to have someone she treasured close to her. All other guests made alternative arrangements elsewhere. 

The Babingtons asked both Charlotte and Sidney to be two of the godparents, and unbeknownst to each other, they agreed. Charlotte prepared herself for their first meeting when she found out. They would meet as friends, she thought to herself believing all will be fine and comfortable given the last words they spoke to each other at their last meeting. 

Unbeknownst to Charlotte as well, Sidney and Mr. Harlow had the unfortunate luck of staying at the same lodgings. Mrs. Parker was quite vocal in her disdain in not been invited to stay in the main house –

‘You are a godparent and this is not a way to treat a godparent’ she objected to her husband but unfortunately within earshot of Mr. Harlow. ‘I think it is an audacity that that lowly girl from somewhere of no importance gets a higher precedence than us.’ 

Sidney cut her short - ‘Eliza! I have told you before. Do not speak about Miss Heywood like that! She is a very special friend to the Parker family and talk like that will not be tolerated! Not by me! Not my Mary! Not my Georgiana! Arthur, Diana not Tom! If you want to stay in good terms with the Parkers, that is a line you will not cross.’ 

‘Sometimes I do wonder what the obscure obsession is with this girl that the Parker family has. It is quite frankly unhealthy. You all close ranks when her name is mentioned. One day you will be honest with me and you will tell me what secret you are protecting her from or what hold she has on you.’

Mr. Harlow heard every word but hearing the voice of Mr. Sidney Parker talk of Charlotte as such, a streak of jealousy and discomfort rose within him. It awoke an insecurity in him he did not want. He made his presence known to them and while Mrs. Parker was all politeness itself, Mr. Parker was a lot more decidedly discreet with his acknowledgements. 

‘I assume you are here for the Babington christening?’ – Eliza enquired. 

‘Yes’ – he confirmed – ‘Miss Heywood is to be a godparent.’ 

‘Miss Heywood is to be a godparent!’ – Eliza half asked, half exclaimed. ‘Well the Babingtons really have let their standards drop.’

‘I beg your pardon Mrs. Parker?’ – Mr. Harlow asked taken aback with such a vocal insult to Miss Heywood. 

‘Enough!’ – Sidney balked at his wife. ‘Mr. Harlow we will see you at the church.’ – and with that Sidney escorted his wife out of the room. 

***  
At the church, Lord and Lady Babington were all smiles introducing their first born to the world. Lady Babington was trying to be all coy and distant from the child insisting that it was her husband who had gone all dotty on the child but everyone could see the contented lioness in her whenever she was around her child and the bond between mother and child was more than strong. 

The godparents were invited up to the altar as the formalities to begin. Sidney sided up to Charlotte as she held the baby. He looked at her with a child in her arms and he could not help himself but smile. 

‘That suits you, you know’ – he said to her. 

‘Baby Babington, let me introduce you to your other godparent, Mr. Sidney Parker’ – she cooed at the baby. ‘He is exceedingly well informed on a new invention called tarmacadam. It is making me a fine profit.’ – she said referencing their shared use of his broker. 

‘Ah! A fine investment indeed.’ – he replied giving her that sideway smile that always made her stop and take notice of him. For a moment, they looked at each other knowingly. 

‘Miss Heywood’ – a woman’s voice drifted into her space. It was Mrs. Parker letting Charlotte know that she was still there, marking her territory. 

Later in the day, Charlotte went in search of Mary Parker who had also been invited along with her husband and children. She found them all in the library playing together. As was normal in Tom and Mary Parker’s life, with their children there always came a happy level of noise. They did not believe in children should be there to be seen and not heard. Their relaxed attitudes, Charlotte realised, is what had set the tone for Sanditon. There was a sense of ease and freedom around the family which echoed out into Sanditon.

Charlotte found Sidney sitting on a chaise lounge with his own son on this lap. The two of them in their own little world. The child was several months old now at this stage and had a striking resemblance to his father. For sure, his parentage could not be in any doubt. Where his mother had such a fair look, the child had inherited his father’s darker looks – dark eyes and a head of brown hair. Charlotte went to sit down next to them. 

‘So this is your little man?’ – Charlotte asked reaching out to take the child’s hands. She pulled faces to make him laugh and he gurgled at her. 

‘Yes indeed he is Charlotte.’ – Sidney smiled with a pride that all new fathers have. ‘I must say, you were right. Being a father it really is a wonderful thing.’ – he said joining in with the play making Charlotte was having with his son. 

Charlotte sat back and looked at them together – ‘You look happy Sidney’ – she said – ‘and that makes me very happy’ reaching out, without thinking, to hold his hand. She forgot that Tom, Mary and the children were also in the room. Sidney looked at her and took the hand that was being held in Charlotte’s hand and exchanged her hand with his. The moment lingered. 

‘Look what we have here’ – the voice of Eliza came into the room looking at both Sidney and Charlotte as they were although their hands were hidden behind the back of the chaise lounge. 

Tom shouted over to her – ‘Eliza come join us!’ 

Eliza looked over to him and gave him a sharp smile scrunching her eyes in the process. ‘No I think not. It is time young Mr. Parker here is returned to the nanny.’ – and with that she reached over Sidney and took their son out of his arms. Sidney was left looking ahead with an expression of contempt on his face. He turned to Charlotte and said ‘Excuse me’ following his wife out of the room. 

Charlotte then headed out to the terrace where the festivities were still taking place. It had turned into a beautiful sunny day and everyone seemed to be in fine form. She spotted Mr. Harlow in conversation with someone. He was dressed in a red coat accompanied by a dark navy hat. She watched him. He took off his hat to wipe his forehead in the heat and his blond curls fell forward onto his face. He smiled in the course of his conversation and his face and eyes came alive with it. He looked up and spotted Charlotte looking at him. He gestured to her using his hands and face enquiring if she needed him. She smiled back over to him. ‘Yes’ – she thought to herself – ‘if he asks, I am inclined to accept’. 

She walked over to him and he stepped away from his conversation to attend to her. 

‘Charlotte is everything okay?’ 

‘Everything is just fine. Come with me.’ – she instructed him and he followed. 

‘Where are we going Charlotte?’ – as Charlotte lead him away from the throng of the people on the terrace. 

‘You do realise that in all the time that we have known each other Mr. Harlow you have yet to try and kiss me!’ 

‘Have I not?’ - he shyly said – ‘It is all these rules of courtship. It is practically impossible to get a moment alone with you.’ 

‘Well that is the thing about rules. Once you know what they are, it is easier to know how to bend them.’ – Charlotte jollied him along. 

‘Miss Heywood, what indeed may you be suggesting? – as he stopped looking down at her smiling. They were well beyond the terrace to have found their own spot with no prying eyes. He moved closer into her and let his head drop down to her. They moved towards each other, their lips almost to the point of touching when –

‘Charlotte! Charlotte!’ – called out. 

It was Tom. ‘Come Charlotte! Mary and the children are in need of you. We need an adjudicator and you have been commissioned. Come on!’ gesturing to her to follow him. 

Charlotte and Mr. Harlow looked at each other, Mr. Harlow shaking his head. 

‘Go’ – he said letting her go despondently – ‘they won’t rest until you are with them but soon Charlotte, the rules will be bent.’ 

***

Mr. Harlow left for Italy almost straight after the christening. They bid farewell in Willingden with promises from him to write to her as often as possible. Charlotte was sorry to see him leave but when she examined her feelings intensely, she was expecting more of a response to his departure. Whether she thought it was because she was anticipating that they would be seeing a lot of each other in the future so there was no need to miss him or something else, she knew her feelings were detached. This has been nothing like how she had felt when she said goodbye to Sidney. Her parents were expecting her to be more downhearted but she was not and she could not work it out. 

Another autumn passed followed by another winter. Mr. Harlow did return for the winter season and Charlotte met him in London for all the social events on the calendar there. He soon left again into the New Year. His next trip back to Italy was to be a longer trip this time for six months. Given the length of absence this time, Charlotte felt a wave of bravery come over her while they were out walking in Hyde Park one day. 

‘Mr. Harlow, should you be in the mind of furthering our relationship into a more formal status, I would like to reassure you that I would be inclined to agree.’ 

Mr. Harlow seemed a little taken aback by Charlotte’s forwardness. However, he replied with all honesty – 

‘Miss Heywood, nothing would give me greater pleasure than to do just that. But I fear that I still need more time to secure a stable financial future for any plans you and I may have. I know ... ’ – he continued – ‘I know that you are a lady of your own means and you will say that we have enough but for me, I need to know that I can support and look after any wife or children I may be lucky to have in the future.’ 

‘What are you saying Mr. Harlow?’ 

‘I am saying that I want to be worthy of you, to look after in your later years. I don’t want to have to rely on your income. I want to be able to do that myself on my own terms. It has become very important to me. You do believe me? It has nothing to do with my feelings for you for they have not changed an ounce and I will always be loyal to you, only you. But this I need to do.’ 

‘I do. I do understand that. I suppose I just would like an idea as to when.’ – Charlotte said. 

‘Charlotte I would like to be able to answer that but in all honesty I do not have an answer for that. I am so very sorry but I promise, I am doing this for us.’

'If you say so Freddie. If you say so.'


	17. An End of an Era

Chapter Seventeen:

It was a late spring day when a stranger rode up in his carriage to the Heywood Estate. 

‘Sir James Percival at your service Sir’ – he said to Mr. Heywood on arrival –‘Equerry to His Majesty The King’ bowing his head severely. 

‘Sir, it is an honour’ Mr Heywood replied ‘How can we help you here in our small abode in Willingden?’ 

‘His Majesty is travelling in the district accompanied by the Earl of Wormwood and Lady Worcester. He asks to pay your daughter and your family a visit as they travel. He requires a room overnight to break up his journey as does his companions.’ 

Mr. Heywood, quite taken aback, says – ‘Sir that is indeed quite an honour. I do not know what to say. My family have not had a royal visit since the days of King Henry himself. But I fear though that my humble abode may be too small for His Majesty’s requirements.’

‘Nonsense’ Sir Percival replied. ‘His Majesty enjoys the country and will happily be obliged to take any room that you may offer. Within reason of course’

Mr. Heywood was given more details of the visit and Sir Percival headed off confirming that he would send word shortly as to the expected arrival date. When Mr. Heywood broke the news to his wife, it was one of the few moments in his married life that he witnessed his wife descend into an absolute mess of hysteria and anxiety. 

‘Daughter!’ Mr. Heywood said to his daughter - ‘You see what all these connections you have gathered have brought upon your good mother and her household’ outwardly very proud that under his watch, the Heywood name would again be graced with such favour. 

It was a week later that the visit happened. A very distinguishable group of fine carriages rolled up their drive and when the occupants stepped out, their hosts were all bows and courtesies. His Majesty stepped out in his finery and immediately held out his ring to Mr. Heywood before moving onto Mrs. Heywood. He then moved onto Miss Heywood where he warmly opened his arms and greeted her like an old friend. She was very much surprised and astonished by such a welcome. 

‘My dear’ he said ‘When my good friends here said that we were not within 10 miles of your home, I said we must pay you a visit! You are sorely missed in London!’ 

The children flocked around the gathering which His Majesty enjoyed immensely. He went to change and he was shown to the finest room that the Heywoods had. All the younger children had been moved into shared rooms, the eldest children moved into some of their vacant cottages temporarily to make more space for the rest of the entourage. Word spread around the district and the villagers looked on from afar. 

They settled for dinner at was one if not the best dinners ever served in Willingden. Conversation was heated, jovial and not in short supply. The Earl and Lady Worcester were equally just as delightful in conversation to the Heywoods, especially to Mr. And Mrs. Heywood being the first time that they had formally met. 

In the course of the dinner, His Majesty stood up and thanked his hosts. He made special reference to the young lady who had warmed the hearts of the Harlow family and he looked forward to a time when the two families became one. An obvious reference to the expected engagement between Charlotte and Young Harlow. 

After dinner, the gentleman retired to Mr. Heywood’s study for brandys. The Earl and Mr. Heywood sat in chairs opposite each other next to the fire and the subject of the engagement came up. 

‘Mr. Heywood, I must say your daughter has been a most welcome guest in our lives. I was not fortunate enough to have a daughter. I have three boys and they were three boisterous boys at that. My youngest was always a worry to me. He never seemed to have a purpose in life despite anything I might have said to him. All that changed when he met your daughter. When once he was a boy, he became a man with a mission. Your daughter has worked magic on him I tell you. I do look forward to the day when I can also call her my daughter as well. I just wish my wife was still here to see it come about. She would be ever so happy.’ – he said with all sincerity. 

Mr. Heywood nodded in appreciation of the compliment and remained silent for a moment before responding – 

‘Your Grace you are most kind. I am very delighted to hear that someone sees my first born daughter in the same light as her parents do. We most certainly have come up trumps in that regard. But Sir...’ he drifted off unsure of his next words –

‘Sir from one father to another, I do worry about the length and duration of this courtship between our two children. It has been well over a year now. They appear to enjoy one’s company. They smile and flatter each other. When they are together, they are much a team. When they not, they appear to be best friends, pen pals but with no sense of loss from the other’s company. It is something I have noticed for a long time now. As for love...I dare not say it but I fear that there may be an absence of love between them. 

‘And if I’m being truthful Sir, I do not enjoy the length of this courtship. I want to see my Charlotte settled, married with children flocking around her sooner rather than later. Your Grace, your son has now been abroad for several months now, and in his last correspondence, he has indicated that he will need to stay on in Italy for another three months more. Sir I really feel that I must ask the question of you, his father and ask if he will ever make an honest woman of my daughter?’

The Earl looked down into his brandy and sighed. It was a truth that he could not deny.

‘I will speak with my son Mr. Heywood.’ 

The entourage moved on the following day and the visit of His Majesty to Willingden was written into the folklore of the village for many years to come. Word of the visit made it to the national papers and the name Heywood escalated in rank practically overnight. Charlotte, her brother and sister visited London not long after enjoying the hospitality of Lady Susan. Charlotte had said that she could find somewhere for her family to stay but Lady Susan would hear none of it. Both siblings were in awe of the London scene and were an instant hit in society. Times were good for the Heywoods. 

Rumours were rife in London of an impending announcement of an engagement. So much so that Charlotte received a letter from her broker enquiring on behalf of their mutual friend that on the occasion of the forthcoming news of said engagement, did she wish to continue receiving his advice moving forward. Charlotte lingered on that letter for a long time but didn’t return a response. 

The reason for her hesitation in responding became inevitable. Correspondence between Charlotte and Mr. Harlow over the months became less and less. The letters arrived less often and when they did it was Mr. Harlow seeking advice from Charlotte on some business matter rather than any expression of love. Each one made Charlotte feel more and more detached from him. She still cared for him but it was becoming evident to her that his true heart belonged in Italy, not in England. 

In the course of a conversation back in Willingden one day with her father when they were out and about the topic came up. 

‘Papa may I ask? How did you know or when did you know that Mama was the one for you?’ 

‘Oh I think I knew very early on. But you know our story. We had met and six months later we married. A year later you came along much to our delight. The rest they say is history.’ 

‘Why the quickness of it all? 

‘The quickness? Well I suppose I just knew your Mother had to be my wife. I was at an age when I wanted to be settled. I had inherited the Estate and the Estate needed mothering.’

‘But when did you know, for sure?’

‘I think I knew for sure the first time she chastised me. As you know I am not one for being proven wrong but your Mother certainly let me know that I had done wrong in no uncertain terms. And I loved every moment of it. That was when I knew I had fallen in love with her.’ – Mr. Heywood smiled on reflection – ‘Yes that was the moment and I do believe I have done very well for myself.’ 

‘Why the questions Charlotte? – he furthered. 

‘No reason Sir.’

‘Charlotte....’ he prodded. ‘Is this because of Mr. Harlow? Are you having doubts about him?’

Charlotte walked on without responding. 

‘Daughter I am sure you have nothing to fear. I am sure a proposal is coming. Even his father believed so.’ 

On hearing this, Charlotte’s expression changed – 

‘You spoke of the matter between you?’ 

‘Yes as two future father-in-laws would Charlotte.’ 

‘Papa you had no business to speak on my behalf as such. Really! How could you?’

‘I am sorry Charlotte but why not? All I asked of him was would his son be proposing anytime soon and he said he would speak to his son. So I’m sure you are unnecessarily worrying over nothing.’ 

They had reached the house by now and Charlotte’s temper was rising at the intrusion into her personal affairs. She walked into the house before her father and in her temper; she walked into his study and closed the door on him, for once. 

‘Charlotte you are being ridiculous!’ he cried at her before returning the kitchen to his wife. 

Mrs. Heywood asked what was bothering Charlotte and after telling her, she chided him for being insensitive enough for telling Charlotte.

‘Not you too Wife! I thought I was reassuring her!’ he said as he paced the kitchen. ‘She will calm now I know it.’ 

His wife stood back from her work and enquired ‘My dear may I ask? Why are you wearing down the tiles in my kitchen as you are? Have you no study to go to?’ 

‘Ah! Yes! ... Well! ... it appears that Charlotte closed the door on me in my study. I cannot now enter!’ 

His wife burst out in laughter – ‘Oh my love! Now you know what it feels like. Normally it is our Charlotte out here pacing the floor!’ 

Eventually Charlotte came out of the study for dinner. A quiet hush descended around the family table, all anxiously waiting for whatever mood Charlotte would join them with. She took her seat and looked at her father. 

‘Papa may I speak to you after dinner please?’ 

‘Yes of course you may. In your study?’ he asked putting emphasis on the ‘Your’. Charlotte looked at him disapprovingly but allowed herself a discreet smile. 

When they sat down after dinner, Mr Heywood was in his seat again next to the fire. He began - 

‘My child. Prey tell me. What was all that about earlier? It was very much not like you.’

‘Papa I have always enjoyed that we could speak frankly to each other. There is something I need to tell you and I do not know how you will react.’

‘The last time you said those words to me were to ask me to agree to your courtship with the Young Harlow. Is it about the same matter again?’

‘Yes Sir it is’ – she said her fingers in her lap fidgeting. ‘Sir I believe I want to call off the courtship.’ 

Mr. Heywood sat up in his chair – ‘Why may I ask my dear?’ he said softly. 

‘I fear...I struggle to put it into words but I believe that I do not love him.’ – and a sob came out. 

Mr. Heywood reached out to his daughter. – ‘Please my child. Start at the beginning.’ 

‘At the beginning?’ – she asked not knowing where the beginning was. Was it Sanditon? Was it the parting with Sidney on the cliff top? Was it the return to the regatta? Was it in Hyde Park when Harlow did not seem intent on proposing? Charlotte truly did not know where the beginning was. She continued – 

‘I don’t think there is a beginning as such. It has been coming on for some time. I am so very fond of him. Ever so fond of him. But....’

‘Yes?’

‘But just not enough to wait indefinitely for him. I know he wants to make his mark and his fortune before full committing but his letters, Papa; his letters are full of expression of his life in Italy. There is little expression of love or feeling for me. In fact, I would go as far as saying that he does not appear to be missing me at all and sometimes it feels like he only feels compelled to write to me out of obligation.’

‘Hmmmm’

‘And Papa if truth be known, I can’t say I miss him either and I believe that if I were to make a declaration of love to him in a letter it would be a lie. Is that awful of me?’ 

‘No my child it is not. It is being honest. Charlotte may I disclose something to you that I hope will not end up with me being closed out of my own study again?’ 

Charlotte smiled. 

‘For a long time now, I have recognised that there has been something absent between you and Harlow. He is an exceedingly fine fellow indeed. I have no doubt that his feelings are sincere for you. He bounces around you like a lost pup. But yet something has been lacking. I could never name it. That is until you have put words to it yourself. You are not in love with him, my child, no matter how hard you may try to create those feelings. 

‘Charlotte my dear. You and I are very much similar in our make ups. We are resolute in our thinking and stubborn in equal measures. More importantly, we are not individuals who can settle for anything less than what is right. The Heywoods are passionate people. We cannot live half a life. 

‘So may I suggest that you sleep on this conversation overnight? Now that you have said it out loud, let it settle and if your feelings remain the same in the morning, we shall discuss the next steps.’ 

Charlotte’s mind had not changed overnight. She tossed and turned pondering on it but inside her was the feeling that what she had discussed with her father was very much the truth of the matter. She sat with him in his study that morning to discuss her options and once the decision was made, they called in her Mother. 

Her Mother was unimpressed by the discussion and warned Charlotte that she could be making the biggest mistake in her life. ‘Oh Charlotte! There is a lot to be said about having someone who will keep the other side of the bed warm for you. Sometimes the best marriages don’t come about from the foundations of love; they come out of respect and a common purpose. Think carefully before you proceed.’ – she warned. 

‘Oh Mama, I have thought about this over and over for so long now, I’m not sure I have any strength left to think anymore of it. I am sorry if I disappoint you.’ – Charlotte said.

‘Oh Charlotte! You could never disappoint me. I just want you to be sure of the repercussions of this action. You are getting to an age when suitors will become few and far between. I do not want to see you spend your life alone. That is all. I will support you whatever your decision may be.’ 

Charlotte went for a walk that afternoon and when she got back, she sat down at her desk and wrote – 

‘Oh my dearest Freddie, 

It has been some time now since you wrote. I know you are very busy and I do not mean to be a burden. But there is something that I must write to you about that can wait no more. When we walked in Hyde Park at Christmas, I asked you when you believed we would be in a position to progress our courtship. You said you did not know when and it hurt.

It is with the greatest of sadness that I ask you to formally end our courtship. There is no other party on my side. But let me explain the reasons as to why our courtship has come to its natural end. 

It has been some time now that in your letters you write about your life in Italy with a passion I have not seen in you since the first time I met you there. You do not write of love to me or express any feelings that you miss me. Now I am not the type of lady who needs to be reassured at every opportunity. You know enough of me not to expect that. But what I do seek is honesty. You are in Italy and I am here in England. I cannot travel to be with you as society dictates that that would be inappropriate. I am expected to wait instead. I would wait an eternity for a man who I knew without doubt loved me back in equal measure. Freddie, my love, I fear you have another love in your life and that is your life in Italy. And from what I can see asking you to come back here and live out your life here in England would be the equivalent to enslaving a man to a marriage that he did not want to be in. I cannot do that to you. So with your agreement and my blessing, I ask...I ask you to release us from the courtship for both of us to find the lives we know we deserve. 

Yours,  
Charlotte’

The letter was sent. The Heywoods waited. Nothing arrived for several weeks and when it did, all it said was ‘Thank you. I agree. Your friendship always, Freddie.’ And that was that. 

More letters were exchanged between the Heywoods, the Harlows and Lady Susan. The Earl wrote that he was deeply, deeply disappointed in his son for not securing what would be the best thing he had let slip through his fingers, and as far as he was concerned, Charlotte would be always welcomed by the Harlows as one of them. Lady Susan expressed her great sorrow but offered that in the end she was not surprised. Freddie was always one who found it hard to settle or do what society expected of him. Susan promised that she would stave off any gossip that would follow in London in the interests of both of them. Charlotte wrote back to each of them expressing her heartfelt appreciation for their support and kindness. 

And as for Charlotte, she turned the page in that chapter of her life, and as she walked around the Estate by herself, she was for the first time in a long solely in charge of her own destiny. Whether she had done right, she trusted to time but it was done with the deepest feelings of honesty she could be comfortable with. There was though one thing that she needed to return to and that was the letter to her broker. She wrote back to him instructing him to inform their mutual friend that there is no engagement and never shall be one so his advice is most gladly welcomed as always. When this landed on their mutual friend’s desk, the reader said out loud ‘The Damned Fool! Was it wrong with the man!’ before he sat down at his desk, poured himself a glass and quietly toasted to the demise of Mr. Harlow. 

The summer rolled around again and Charlotte approached it with some trepidation as it would be the first opportunity of being in society as a free agent. She was unsure of what that would bring. The Babingtons reached out to her and offered her the use of their country estate for the summer. They were due to be in Sanditon for the summer so she would have the place to herself to gather her thoughts they said. Charlotte had no thoughts to gather so she wrote back thanking them and refusing. Lady Susan asked her to stay with her and Mr. Stratford in her country house and to this she accepted. The weeks passed by and Charlotte came and went from Lady Susan’s. 

It was one day in late August when a dispatch arrived from Lady Babington that would bring about a great uncertainty and anxiety to Charlotte’s life.

‘Charlotte, 

I will keep this short. You told me once to only tell you substantial things when it came to Mrs. Eliza Parker. In truth, that has been a very hard promise to keep but there is something substantial that I now need to tell you. She has ....’

Charlotte read the rest of the letter and let the letter fall out of her hand. 

‘Charlotte whatever is the matter?’ – her mother asked.

‘She is ....’ and Charlotte walked away unable to say another word.


	18. A Renewal of Acquaintances

Chapter 18:

The following weeks passed with Charlotte struggling with an internal monologue within her head. Should she write him a letter? What would she say? Would that be appropriate? Would it be too soon? She paced her room night after night hoping for some answer or reassurance as to what she should do. She wrote up various letters saying a multitude of things but none of them felt right. Suddenly the correspondence from her closest of friends were filled of references of Sidney. She felt like he was everywhere; her mind consumed of him. All she wanted was some guidance of what was the right thing to do. She dare not take a risk and write unexpectedly for what if the letter was greeted with disdain. No! No! She thought. She had to get the timing right but when would that be? When is the best time? Her mind went round and round. 

Her parents worried about her. Charlotte withdrew into her own space, taking walks by herself and generally being less Charlotte than normal. Not even a deliberate attempt by her father to start an argument roused an emotion from her. They wondered if it were the aftermath of releasing Mr. Harlow causing her to withdraw. A possible show of regret maybe they thought. They were at a complete loss as to what was wrong. She reminded them of those first days back from her first trip to Sanditon. She was there in body but not in spirit. They enquired as to how she was feeling but she divulged nothing. Whatever was bothering her, it all began with that letter but they were damned if they knew the contents of what it said. 

In the end, time caught up with Charlotte and once the shock wore off, the regular updates she received from her friends made her realise that time could wait. She trusted her next move to faith and released control of how she felt. She began to breathe again, and while life around her moved on; her brother and sister had moved to London to come out in society, she choose to stay in Willingden and regroup her thoughts. And eventually time did make the decision for her. 

***

Mrs. Mary Parker wrote asking if she and her children could visit Willingden in the late summer. Mr. Tom Parker has been driving her slowly mad with his new plans to extend into the far reaches of Sanditon and that was before the financial discussions he had with Sidney and Lord Babington. Trafalgar House was in a constant state of high tension and it was impacting upon them all she wrote. She and the children were in need of an escape and she kindly asked if Charlotte and her parents would welcome some refugees to Willingden. A date was arranged, lodgings were organised and Charlotte counted down the days until she could welcome her old friend to Willingden. 

Charlotte and her mother had arrived early to ensure that the fire was lit, dinner was ready and the beds turned down for them. As the carriage pulled up outside the lodgings in Willingden, they waited with open arms to welcome their guests. The carriage door was opened and out hopped a collection of much grown group of children; even Baby James was no longer a baby anymore and was a fully fledged member of the boyhood. 

‘Charlotte! Mrs. Heywood! How wonderful it is to see you again!’ Mary screamed out offering hugs all round. The children all pulled on Charlotte for her attention and one by one she bent down to them and hugged them. After being cooped up in the carriage for the last few hours, they were full of energy and life. 

Mrs. Heywood invited them all to come indoors to view their lodgings and one by one, they followed her in. Charlotte was last to enter but before she did, a voice called out to her – 

‘Good day Miss Heywood’ – 

She looked around and there should Sidney with his sleeping son in his arms. 

‘Mr. Parker?’ – she stood back taking in the scene before her – ‘We were not expecting you.’ 

‘I’m sorry. It was a last minute decision. Mary has told you of the situation with Tom’s plans?’ – she nodded in response – ‘When she told me that she was taking her leave and coming here to escape it all, she suggested I should come.’ – he paused feeling on uncertain ground – ‘I hope that does not cause you too much discombobulating. I...I ....apologise sincerely if it has.’

‘No Sir. It hasn’t’ – Charlotte struggled to find words – ‘You...you should come inside and lay him down for a while. Follow me.’ – and she lad them up to their rooms. 

When they got there, the children had laid claimed to their beds and Mrs. Heywood and Mary were getting reacquainted. When Charlotte walked into the rooms with Mr. Parker behind her, both ladies turned to look at them. 

‘Ah Mrs. Heywood, this is my brother in law, Mr Sidney Parker. I convinced him to join me at the last minute. I’m afraid that husband of mine has slowly been driving us wild with madness. If there is not enough space here, the children can all muddle in together.’ - Mary said making the introductions. Sidney bowed still holding his son in his arms and Mrs. Heywood returned the bow. 

‘Mr. Parker. It is a pleasure to welcome you here in our Willingden. It is quite a joy to meet more of Charlotte’s Sanditon friends. Let us get young Master Parker down to complete his sleep and we can all get acquainted.’ – and with that Mrs. Heywood showed him one of the bedrooms and left him to settle his son. 

They enjoyed tea together with Mary leading the conversation and the children still continuing to release their energies built up over the course of the journey there. Sidney quietly sat back and joined briefly into the conversation but his main attention was on checking in on his son to see if he was away. Charlotte sat on the other side of the table from him equally quiet with her own thoughts. She must address the elephant in the room. She searched for words but none that sounded right would come out. 

‘I hope you will join us for dinner tonight Mary? Don’t be worried about the children. My husband and I have plenty of experience in that department.’ – Mrs. Heywood joked. ‘Charlotte let’s be going now and leave the Parkers to get settled’. 

And with that, the Heywoods said goodbye to the Parkers until the evening without a word being passed about Sidney’s changed circumstances. 

***  
Dinner was indeed a lively affair. With so many children in the house, the house felt like momentarily one step away from a disaster. It was noisy but alive. 

Mr. Parker was seated near Mr. Heywood; Mr. Heywood selfishly claiming him for himself to enjoy a manly conversation. Young Master Parker, now on the verge of becoming a boy, sat next to his father. Sidney was very attentive to his young son and spent more of his time tending to his needs than to his own at the dinner table. Charlotte watched them from the other end of the table. She struggled to take her eyes of them, and more than once, her mother prodded her to do something that she did not hear the first time around. 

‘I was sorry to hear of the death of your wife Mr. Parker’ – Charlotte said working up the courage to let it be known. A hushed silence descended among the adults. 

‘Thank you Miss Heywood’ – Sidney returned but said no more. Instead he looked down at his plate, played around with his food – ‘It was the fever that took her. She was paying a visit to the Campion Estate but was unaware that the fever was rife on the estate.’ – he said acknowledging that he needed to say something. He stayed looking down. Charlotte watched him. She watched him to see if there was pain on his face but Sidney being Sidney kept his emotions and expressions in check. She could discern nothing from him. The conversation moved on after an appropriate silence and once it had, Sidney looked up from his plate and looked over towards Charlotte. It was only broken by Mr. Heywood engaging Sidney on a conversation on recent political affairs. 

***

The following day their visitors walked to the Estate for a pre-arranged walk around Willingden. Mrs. Heywood led off with Mary with their children in tow leaving Charlotte and Sidney awkwardly together. 

Mary filled Mrs. Heywood in with the details of Sidney’s wife’s passing. He was not with her in the end, she said, but that wasn’t surprising. They were leading separate lives in reality; he in Sanditon and she in London. Their son stayed with Sidney in Sanditon to be close to his cousins but his wife was making plans to send him to boarding school much to Sidney’s dislike. The issue of schooling had caused a major rift in their marriage. Mary had feared at the time that there may not have been a way back for their marriage. And then the news arrived that Eliza had passed. Sidney, she said, was shocked when the news first arrived but Sidney been Sidney, he kept his emotions in check. His cracks appeared though when it came to his son. Since the sad event had happened several months ago, he had focused all his attentions on his young son. His dedication to him knew no bounds. Fatherhood had been quite the making of him. 

‘You should make Charlotte aware of these events Mrs. Heywood if you don’t mind. I doubt Sidney will himself’- as she looked around at the two of them walking in awkward silence. 

***

It was a late summer storm that blew into Willingden bringing the most violent of thunderstorms that raged for hours. Mr. Heywood insisted that their visitors stay overnight as the road would be too bad to walk back on back to the village with all the children in tow. Mrs. Heywood organised all the children to huddle up in their rooms to create more beds and Mrs. Parker warned her children to be on their best behaviour. 

Charlotte walked past the nursery to check in on the younger children and through the door she could hear a child crying. She opened the door and the room lit up with lightning. She went over to the bed where she heard the crying to find that it was Young Master Parker. 

‘Oh my child! Don’t cry!’ – she comforted him - ‘Is the storm frightening you? Come here.’ - she softly spoke to him, pulling back the bed sheets and raising him into her arms. She walked back to her room where the fire was roaring, the curtains closed and the candles lit. She laid him out on her bed and cuddled him. 

‘Everything will be alright. Now close your eyes and try to sleep’ – she said holding him in her arms and gently rocking him to sleep. He settled after a few minutes and while she waited to ensure that he was fast asleep, there was a knock on her bedroom door. 

‘Miss Heywood! I can’t find him!’ – Sidney said looking panicked – ‘I went in to check on him but he is not there. I am sorry but I did not know who else to come to.’

Seeing his distress, Charlotte opened up her door fully to him allowing him to catch sight of his son wrapped up warm in her bed, safe. He sighed with relief and Charlotte invited her into his room. Sidney walked over to the side of the bed and ran his fingers through his son’s hair. 

‘I walked by the nursery and I could hear him crying. He was frightened of the storm. I brought him in here to settle him trying not to disturb the other children.’ – she explained feeling guilty that she had worried him such – ‘I am deeply sorry for scaring you Mr. Parker. I should have realised.’ 

‘No please don’t be sorry. Thank you for taking care of him.’ – he spoke while staring at his son. He took a breadth and continued – ‘He has become my entire world these days. When Eliza wanted to send him away to school, the thought of it was too much to bear. He was the only good thing to come out of the marriage. If I lost him, I think I would lose everything.’ 

Charlotte was very taken back by Sidney’s admission of his feelings – ‘You are a very good father Mr. Parker. Like I knew you always would.’ – she said truly meaning every word she said. At this Sidney, smiled and looked up at her – ‘I should return him to his bed and leave you to your sleep.’ – He collected his son in his arms and went to walk out the room. Charlotte held the door open for him and before he reached the threshold, Sidney stopped and turned to her ‘Thank you Charlotte’ he said leaving Charlotte to lower her eyes in acknowledgement. 

The following day the air was still full of grey rain and all the children were all kept inside, even the Heywoods who were well use to jumping in puddles and generally been weather-worn children at an early age. Charlotte and Mary did their best to entertain them in the nursery. Sidney even made an appearance to give them a break from the noise. Eventually, when the sky brightened, everyone sighed in relief letting the children all loose in the yard. 

During this time when they were all cooped up with each, Young Master Parker had begun to attach himself to Charlotte and she in return took him in under her wings, and while they were outside playing, he regularly went over to hold onto her skirts and seek reassurance from her. She ran her fingers through his air and often picked him up giving him her full attention. Mary noticed the growing signs of this attachment but didn’t say anything. Mrs. Heywood had begun to notice it by the end of the day. The only who seemed oblivious to it were Charlotte and Sidney; he himself encouraging the boy to speak and play with Charlotte. ‘Go tell Charlotte what you found’ he said to his son while they were out playing as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do. 

The Parkers returned to their lodgings once the weather had settled and became daily visitors to the Heywood Estate. Conversation grew between Sidney Parker and the Heywoods but conversation with Charlotte was still a little on uncertain ground. Looks were exchanged across the dinner table and by the later stages of their stay in Willingden, Charlotte and Sidney had even begun to smile at each other. On their daily walks, it happened quite often that they were left to walk a short distance from their companions with Master Parker at their feet. They swung him between them creating the almightiest of laughter from him to which Sidney replied that he didn’t recall a time when his son had laughed most heartedly. And when Sidney was not there, the boy went to Charlotte first for reassurances before anyone else and she didn’t refuse. As for proper conversation between the two adults, nothing of worthwhile was ever truly spoken. 

Mrs. Heywood had been watching these interactions and was finding that she was having more questions than answers as to what she saw before her. One day as the Parkers had called for their daily walk, she was busy in the kitchen. She called on Charlotte to stay behind for a talk. 

‘Charlotte I have a concern that is bothering me. You and the Parker boy’ – she began. 

‘Which Parker boy Mama? There are three.’ – Charlotte jested. 

Her mother gave her a disapproving look – ‘You know which one Charlotte’ – in a tone that Charlotte recognised as a mother’s tongue not to be trifled with. ‘It has been several days now that I have watched you with him. His attachment for you is strong and yours for him. You do realise that he is just a little boy who has lost his mother. What you are doing...it is not fair on him. He has already had one parent disappear on him. Think about how he will feel when you are not there for him anymore. It will only upset him.’ – her mother said explaining her misguidings. 

Charlotte sat down at the table next to her mother who was standing up kneading some dough. She reflected on what her mother had just said. She also knew that what her mother had said was the truth. Here was a little motherless boy who was simply craving some mothering. And she couldn’t say no. Not because it was not in the best interests of the boy but because of something else. 

‘You are probably right Mama but ... please don’t ask me to stop for I simply can’t.’

‘Charlotte whatever does that mean?’

‘I can’t stop because ... .... .... ‘ – there was a long pause from Charlotte – ‘.... I can’t because he is his son.’ – she said almost whispering. She fidgeted with her hands waiting for a rebuke from her mother. She looked up at her mother and followed it up with a shrug – ‘I simply can’t’. 

Her Mother looked at her realising that there was more to do this than first appeared. She stopped her kneading and sat down with Charlotte. 

‘Charlotte I think there is something that you need to start telling me.’

And with that, Charlotte opened up her to her Mother for the first time since she returned from Sanditon that first season. She told her how they argued at first misunderstanding each all the time before they came to an understanding about their feelings. She told her of the fire and its aftermath. She told of their parting on the cliff road. Of their meetings again in London and Sanditon. How he had set her up with a broker and had been advising her in the background on her investments. His disapproval she suspected of Mr. Harlow but accepting of the affair. Of the turmoil she was in when Esther wrote to her of Eliza’s death. She told her Mother of everything and it all began to make sense to Mrs. Heywood. The puzzle pieces in Charlotte’s life all fall into place. 

‘And now he is free and you’d like to renew your acquaintance with him?’ – she asked. 

‘That is it Mama. I don’t know what to feel. He gives nothing away. He shares little.’ 

‘Oh Charlotte...really? Don’t you see? If he himself is struggling to find the words, his actions don’t. He is sharing the thing the means the most to him with you – his son. He – both of them have been through a lot over the last few months. Maybe it’s simply a question of the two of you getting to know each other again.’ – her mother reassured her. 

‘Do you think Mama?’ – Charlotte asked almost crying. 

‘Yes I do. Have faith my child. For if he loved as you described, a love like that doesn’t need much reawakening.’ – and with that Mrs. Heywood gave her daughter a hug and for the first time in such a long time, Charlotte felt a huge burden lift off her shoulders. 

***  
Over the course of the next few days, Mrs. Heywood took a keen interest in the events that were transpiring before her with the new knowledge she now had at hand. He caught Mr. Parker watching her daughter from afar on several occasions without him realising that he was being watched. He saw how he encouraged his son to invite Charlotte into their fold and they slowly were becoming a threesome. She saw him give Charlotte smiles that only Charlotte would know were meant for her alone. She saw how her daughter responded nervously and unsure. 

On a walk alone with Mary, Mrs. Heywood enquired more about Sidney and the type of man he was. Mary flattered him as should a sister in law should but this did not appease her. 

‘Mary, from one mother to another, I have only recently become acquainted with the events in Sanditon before the fire, tell me, do you believe his feelings for my daughter were sincere?’ 

‘Oh!’ – Mary replied judging that she must chose her next words very carefully to ensure that future happiness of her brother in law – ‘Mrs. Heywood, I have known Sidney for almost fifteen years now since he was a lot more careless and frivolous with his life. He made his fortune in Antigua but came back a closed back. Charlotte was the one who helped him find his life again and bring out the Sidney that we all knew was there. That fire.... that awful, awful night of the fire...it changed so many things for us. I have never known my family to come so close to ruin. My marriage never recovered from the strain of it and if it weren’t for Sidney, I cannot bear to think about where myself and the children would be right now. We...the Parkers...we owe your daughter so much. And Sidney ... he sacrificed everything to protect us. There has not been one moment where I have regretted the actions my husband. So please I say to you .... as a mother .... don’t be angry at Sidney for not following through with your daughter. It would be displaced. You need to direct it towards my family instead and if I could find a way to undo all the hurt the foolishness my Husband created, I would undo it in one breath. But to answer your question, Sidney’s feelings for Charlotte are very much real. He is just struggling at the moment to trust that he won’t get hurt again by opening himself up.’ 

***

On one of their last days in Willingden, Mrs. Heywood had the fortunate luck to find Sidney alone in the house while all the others had gone out for their walk. 

‘Sir are you not joining them today?’ 

‘I was going to Ma’am but there was some business I needed to sort out first. Your husband very kindly offered me the use of his study to complete it.’ 

‘Good. That’s good.’ – Mrs. Heywood paused – ‘I have some baking due out of the oven. Won’t you join me and be my guinea pig in the tasting department?’ 

‘Of course. It would be my pleasure.’ – he replied. He had really begun to feel at home with the Heywoods. 

They shared some tea and helped themselves to some baking before Mrs. Heywood opened a more serious conversation with him. 

‘May I say, Mr. Parker, what you are doing with your son, it is to be very much admired. There are not many widowers, especially young widowers, who would take such a keen interest in their son’s upbringing rather preferring to offload the child onto another family member.’ 

‘Hmmmm. Thank you. There is nothing I would dislike the most than being separated from my child.’ 

‘You and your wife? You never considered having more children after he was born?’ – she asked deliberately probing for more information about him. 

‘No. No I’m afraid not. We were not ... our marriage, that is, would only deliver us one son, no more.’

‘Oh. I am sorry to hear that. You appear to be a natural father which is a credit to you. Not many men are.

‘Marriage can be funny like that. When I accepted Mr. Heywood’s proposal, I did not imagine fourteen children, busy household, the stresses of parenthood, and the joys that come with it. Indeed, the day the King’s equerry appeared informing us that the King would be staying here, not for one moment did envisage one of children introducing us to that level of society.’

‘Yes. Charlotte has a wonderful talent for attracting the best of people to her.’ – he said smiling to himself as he stirred his spoon in his tea. 

‘It was not without a slight bit of apprehension, that given the heights she has gone, for a fall to grace after the end of her courtship with Mr. Harlow. But thankfully none appeared.’ 

‘Ah Mr. Harlow’ – he said jolting him out of his reverie with a sudden peak in his curiosity at the mention of Harlow’s name – ‘Ma’am may I ask? Whatever did happen to Mr. Harlow? It was the talk of London that they would be engaged very shortly after the King’s visit here, an indicate sign of his approval given the close ties the Harlows had with the Royal Family. But no engagement appeared?’ 

Mrs. Heywood looked at him unsure if she should share this part of Charlotte’s life with him but if their feelings for each other were to be brought out to the surface, it would need some help. 

‘Mr. Harlow was a fine fellow indeed. He spoke well, very considerate, he appeared to dote on our Charlotte. He would have been a welcome addition to this family....’ – she paused in her response watching for his reactions – ‘But something was always missing. He sought out Charlotte’s advice on many matters to the point where I think he began to exhaust her with it all. In the end, his extended stays in Italy without a solid promise of a proposal were the last straw for her. It made her examine her own feelings, and she found that in order to live an honest life, she needed to release herself from the courtship to help her get what she truly wanted. Happiness.’ 

‘Ah! I often thought he was the damnedest of fools to let her go.’ 

‘Indeed’ – she replied. 

With that, the kitchen doors opened and in flew all the children followed by Mr. Heywood with an irate Charlotte behind him. They were having one of their ‘heated discussions’ again and Mrs. Heywood apologised to Mr. Parker for the show of madness that the house would often let loose. Sidney recognised that side of Charlotte from their many harsh words in Sanditon. He knew that when she felt strongly about something, she was committed to the cause. And as Mr. Heywood and Charlotte walked through the kitchen to his study, Young Master Parker found his father and jumped happily into his arms. 

Charlotte returned to the kitchen and let out and almighty exclamation of frustration. 

‘He is a stubborn as a mule Mother! Really!’ 

Young Master Parker, on seeing Charlotte, jumped off his father’s lap and went straight over to Charlotte. He attached himself to her skirts and once she realised that he was there, she looked down at him and smiled. 

‘Shall we go and find the others in the nursery?’ – and they disappeared off together. Both Mrs. Heywood and Sidney were still seated in the kitchen looking on. 

‘It would appear that your son needs a mother and my daughter needs to be mothering. What do you say to that Mr. Parker?’


	19. A Question to be Asked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay! Real life very rudely imposed itself on the imagination. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter Nineteen:

Charlotte found herself over the next few weeks feeling like she was walking on air. A huge weight had lifted off her shoulders. Her Mother had kept her confidence on her past with Mr. Parker and had guided her sensibly through the range of emotions and doubts she was experiencing. With every passing day, little by little, Charlotte allowed her heart to release her feelings for Mr. Parker while in equal measures containing them to ensure she was prepared in the event of being hurt again. 

It was unfamiliar territory. She truly felt for the first time in a long time her heart could open up again in a way that Mr. Harlow could never reach. There had only ever been one man who touched Charlotte’s heart and Harlow was not his name. It was a realisation the Charlotte had become to accept with ease. As for whether the same feelings would be returned by the man who held the key to her heart, she still remained uncertain. 

As the Parkers left Willingden, there were many tears from the children in leaving Charlotte behind. They urged her to join them and to travel back with them but that was not really an option. It was too soon. Before she could commit to entering that world again, Charlotte knew she needed to be in a better place to see Sidney in his natural habitat again. And it was with this her Mother had been a fortuitous godsend. 

Sidney and his son were quite forlorn to be leaving Willingden. Sidney could not thank Mr. And Mrs. Heywood enough for their kind hospitality especially with making his son feel very much at home and letting him be a playful child, rather than the lost motherless child he had been beforehand. To Charlotte, Sidney’s parting was not about what he said; it was about what he didn’t say and how he said it. As he held his son in his arms; his son who cried on being parted from Charlotte even refusing to remove his arms from around her neck; Sidney went to take Charlotte’s hand. He bent down and kissed it; a brave move in any context, an even braver one in front of her parents. All he spoke were two words of gratitude lingering just that tiny moment longer than was appropriate gently stroking Charlotte’s hand with his thumb. He smiled at her and she smiled back. ‘May I write to you?’ – he asked and she agreed. And with that, he stepped into the carriage and the Parkers drove away. Charlotte reflected on their departing that this was the second time she had watched Sidney leave in a carriage. This time she felt less certain of what the future held than she did the first time but for sure, the pinch on her heart was strong. 

Sidney did write. In fact he wrote two letters – one for her parents and another just for her. The letter to her parents spoke of his gratitude again for their hospitality and an invitation for the entire family to join him in Sanditon in accommodation at his expense by way of returning the gesture. 

His letter to Charlotte was very different in approach. He spoke of his happiness in becoming reacquainted with her again. He spoke of the kindness she showed his son and indeed, he wrote of how his son constantly asked when he could see Charlotte again. He mentioned how he was looking forward to conversing with her again. He mentioned how his brother had calmed down in their absence. He mentioned many other things but nothing to show his intentions towards Charlotte. 

And as that letter was being written in Sanditon, the writer was several glasses of port away from declaring his feelings to Charlotte. She was all he could think of. 

***

‘Mary well met.’ – Sidney asked of his sister-in-law as he stopped his carriage along the cliff road. ‘I am just returning from Sanditon House. The Babingtons were keen to hear how our trip to Willingden went. They wanted all the news of the Heywoods and discuss our trip to Babington’s country estate. Would you like a ride back to Trafalgar House or would that be disturbing your walk?’

‘No that would do amply well and while you drive, that will give us some time to talk uninterrupted.’ – Sidney helped Mary up onto the carriage. 

‘How have you been Sidney since we got back?’

‘I am very well thank you. Is that the answer you wanted to hear?’ – he smiled. 

‘Sidney Parker! Never one to give much away!’ – Mary joked with him – ‘No really Sidney. I am glad you are feeling well. Dare I say better? I have noticed a spring in your step that has long been missing.’ 

‘Indeed? Have you?’ 

‘And I suspect the reason why as well.’ – Mary proceeded – ‘Would you like to hear my reason?’

Sidney holding the reigns in his hand looked out over the sea. He suspected that that was more of an instruction rather than an invitation. – ‘Go on.’ 

‘You know exactly what I am going to say Sidney. I know you do and yet you remain silent. Really you can be just as insufferable as your brother at times.’ – Mary sighed - ‘Well if we are to be on these terms I shall simply come out and say it: Charlotte! It is because of Charlotte!’ – she waited for a reaction from him, some acknowledgement of what she was driving at but none came – ‘You have no impediment to hold you back Sidney. I saw you two together in Willingden. If there were ever two people who loved each other I do not know. You should secure her hand as soon as possible before another fellow comes along and sweeps her up because she believes you are indifferent to her. And that Sidney is far from what you feel for her. It was written all over your face.’ 

Sidney said little. He looked out ahead of him. He listened and considered what Mary was proposing. They arrived at Trafalgar House where Mary descended the carriage. 

‘You are not going to acknowledge what I said Sidney? Are you not?’ – Mary pushed. 

‘I...Em...’ – Sidney was stuck for words. 

‘If you re impervious of listening to those nearest to you then be it on your head if you find yourself alone for the rest of your life Sidney Parker. Do you hear!’ – Mary spoke in a manner that any Parker Brother was unused to hearing. She went to enter the house – 

‘Mary, really do you think it possible? Do you think after all that has happened Charlotte would consider me again? Did she speak of me in that way?’ 

‘Oh Sidney! She didn’t need to. You could see it in her expressions, in the manner in which she spoke to you, in the attentions she gave your son. I can give you no more reassurances than that but if you hide away here in Sanditon, as much as we love having you here, you will only end up regretting it.’ 

Mary parted with him leaving him fairly clear on what he should do. 

That evening after dinner, he went to his study and looked out over the coast, his eyes drifting down the cove. How much had happened since that day when he had stepped out of the water to find Miss Heywood standing aghast in front of him. But then again had anything changed since then? He had a long time admitted to himself that he had already begun to fall in love with her before even had realised. She was independent of mind, strong in her nature, fresh in her outlook to name just some of the qualities he admired in her. And that was before he acknowledged her resounding beauty and charm. ‘Yes ...’ – he thought to himself – ‘She would do very well in more ways than one and he would be a very lucky man if she were to consider him again.’ But how could he make it happen again? How could he convince her to take a chance on him again? But Mary was right; he could not rightly sit back and do nothing. The next move was on him. 

The following day he rode back over to Sanditon House and found a few quiet moments with Babington – 

‘This upcoming trip to your country estate...’

‘Yes what about it? – Babington asked. 

‘Why not invite a few more people to it? Make it a proper entertaining trip.’ 

‘Who do you have in mind?’ – Babington asked again curious as to where Sidney was trying to steer this. 

‘A few friends. Crowe for example. And Miss Heywood to balance out the lady-gentleman ratio.’  
‘Hardly! That’s more men to women there straight away but I take you point. It could become too much children and not enough adult entertainment I agree. Let me think it over and speak to Esther.’ – Babington replied. 

And with that Sidney bid him farewell and rode back to Sanditon with a feeling that his mission was partially completed. 

Babington, on the other hand, found his wife in the lounge reading. 

‘Who was that my love who has just left? – Esther enquired. 

‘It was Sidney. He suggested we invite more people for our trip to the country.’ 

‘Did he indeed? That’s not the unsociable Sidney we’ve come to know recently. Who does he have in mind?’ 

Babington sat on a chair opposite his wife before proceeding – ‘He suggested Crowe...’

Esther took a quick interest in replying instantly – ‘No! I put my foot down on that. I’ve seen what happens when the three of you get together. Sore heads for the best part of a week.’ 

‘And Miss Heywood!’ – Babington interjected quickly. He let the words hang there for a moment allowing his wife take this new information in. 

Esther was now truly engaged in the conversation – ‘he said that? He actually suggested inviting Charlotte?’ 

‘He did my Wife. He most certainly did.’ – Babington replied smiling at his wife. They both looked at each other with a sudden realisation between them that their nearest friends might be able to make amends for the time lost between them – ‘So you know Esther what you must do?’ 

‘I will write to her today and insist that I won’t take no for an answer.’

‘Exactly!’ – Babington exclaimed – ‘It’s time Esther. We need to bring these two together once and for all. ‘

‘And no Crowe I hope you are going to say next?’

‘No Crowe. We’ll find him a wife another day!’ – and there went Babington out the lounge with a bounce in his step. His wife shouted after – 

‘You do realise Husband that you are an insufferable romantic!’ 

He turned to look at her to see her grinning and in acknowledgement, he curtsied to her – ‘Only on weekdays my love!’ – he jested with her before leaving her to do her part in this conspiracy they were going to play out. 

***

Sidney and his son arrived a day before Miss Heywood was due. All throughout the journey Sidney kept mentioning to his son that he would be seeing his special friend, Charlotte, very soon and that they would go out and play like they had before. The thought pleased Sidney no end and made light of the journey to the Babingtons. 

Charlotte was expected in the early afternoon after an early start from Willingden. Sidney found himself very agitated for the day. He had not anticipated Crowe not being there for the stay. In his mind, he had envisaged a group of friends – three men and two ladies coming together to enjoy each other’s company as young people would. Finding out that it was solely Charlotte coming was something that almost stopped his heart with apprehension when he read the letter from Babington and in equal measure, it made him very happy; a feeling he had not recognised in a long time. 

The Babingtons had noticed how he had spent most of the morning looking out over their drive waiting for a carriage to drive up it. He had checked in on his son several times to ensure he remained clean for Charlotte. He picked up books and put them down just as speedily. His anxiety was slowly rising which eventually let itself release itself when Babington went to offer him a drink. Sidney realised his abruptness and apologised to his friend. He suggested that he take himself out for a walk to relieve his stresses, and as he walked out the door, a carriage began to come up the drive. He stood there on the front porch, his breathing slowly becoming heavy with each breadth. Charlotte was here. ‘You must not get this wrong Sidney’ was a mantra on repeat in his head.

The footman went to open the door; out stretched a gloved hand which Sidney took. He helped the occupant descend the step down. She turned to face him; looking at his chest first before raising her eyes to meet his. ‘Thank you Mr. Parker’ – she quietly said to him. Sidney could not but be taken by her beauty. She wore an earthly coloured cloak and her hair was loosely but tidily pinned up. ‘You are welcome Miss Heywood’ – was all he could manage. 

From the front door, Esther called out to her followed by Babington – ‘Miss Heywood! You made it! Sidney can relax now!’ – Babington very cheekily cried out. Sidney looked at him and shook his head. 

And before Esther had a chance to welcome her friend, from behind her, Young Master Parker ran out and jumped straight into Charlotte’s arms and there he remained clinging tightly to her taking them all by surprise. She held onto him as she walked into the main hallway of the house. Sidney found a chair for her to sit down on and she hugged the little boy with much care and attention as she could give him. His hold was tight on her and she could hear him sniffling in her ears. She looked up at Sidney where upon he moved over to them and put his hand on his son’s head, smoothing down his hair to reassure him. The Babingtons stood back. 

‘Come! Come Now!’ – Charlotte whispered into his ear – ‘Now look at me. Good boy!’ – the young boy brought his face around in front of Charlotte’s. She wiped his tears away. ‘There! There! Everything is okay. Now let me take my cloak off.’ – and after she did, she stood up with him in her arms and went over to greet her hosts. She hugged Esther before acknowledging Babington. 

‘Miss Heywood, it’s a delight to have you back here. It’s been too long.’ – Babington welcomed her – ‘I think you might have to take him back to the nursery to settle him down before I fear you will be able to settle yourself in. The nanny is up there at the moment if you’d like to take him up and come back to join us in the lounge.’

‘Yes I will. That is a sound suggestion’ – Charlotte put the boy down on the ground and turned to him – ‘Will you show me to the nursery my young man?’ – she smiled at him and with that the two of them bounced down the corridor towards the stairs up to the nursery. 

Sidney with no apprehensions of letting someone lead his son away looked upon the scene with a smile on his face.

‘Prey tell me Mr. Parker ...‘ – Esther came around to stand by Sidney - ‘What is it about our Miss Heywood that makes the Parker men of Sanditon lose their heads?’ – She knew full well what she was doing. She was nudging him to some sort of a reaction. All she got was a ‘Huh!’ and a smile from Sidney. He went to move and follow Charlotte and his son towards the nursery but Esther had not quite finished – ‘Whatever else you do Mr. Sidney Parker on this trip, don’t leave without securing her hand in marriage. I will never forgive you if you do not.’

Later that afternoon, Esther stood by the door of the nursery looking upon Sidney, Charlotte and the children playing on the floor. Babington walked by at one point and she called him over – ‘Husband tell me what you see’. 

‘I see Sidney and Miss Heywood and their boy playing on the ground’ – he realised what he said in an instant. 

‘Yes that is it. They look like a family if you didn’t know better. We need to do this Babington. We must make this happen.’ 

***

Dinner that evening was a very lively affair with just the four of them. Conversation flowed just as it should between four close acquaintances, two couples on the best of terms. The gentlemen, rather than retiring for a brandy after dinner, joined the ladies in the lounge for some card playing; Babington faced his wife on the square games table and Sidney paired up with Charlotte. 

‘Cards are not really my forte’ – Charlotte said trying to defend her poor performance on losing her first hand. 

‘Don’t worry Miss Heywood’ – Babington said – ‘Cards are not your partner’s forte either!’ 

‘Har! Har! Babington!’ – Sidney replied unimpressed by his friend – ‘I will get you on the next hand!’ 

‘That is fighting talk my friend! Fighting talk!’ – Babington looked at his own hand and did realise that there was every possibility that he would lose to Sidney on that next round and decided he needed a diversion from his impending loss – ‘Miss Heywood is it true that you do impressions?’ 

‘Oh no! Wherever did you hear that?’ – Charlotte asked. 

Sidney looked up from over his cards – ‘Babington? What are you doing?’ 

‘Oh come now! Don’t be modest or dare I say shy? Is it not true that you can do an impressive take on my good friend Parker here?’ – Babington knew he was pushing his luck. 

Almost simultaneously three voices called out at him – 

‘Babington!’  
‘No Sir you are mistaken. I...I...’  
‘Oh this is fantastic! I need to know more!’ 

It was Lady Babington who took it forward – ‘Come Charlotte! Don’t be shy. Let’s hear this impression of Parker. You cannot disappoint your hosts.’ 

‘Esther truly it was such a long time ago and wholly inappropriate of me at the time. I couldn’t possibly do it again even if I could and that’s before I am willing to do it.’ 

‘Oh come on Charlotte! Sidney is a big boy. He will be able to live with it.’ 

Sidney raised his glass and said – ‘Why not pretend that I am not even in the room!’ 

‘Hush now Sidney. I am afraid that the horse has bolted on this one. Come on Charlotte. Entertain us!’ – Esther implored her.

Charlotte looked over at Sidney searching for some sign from him as to whether he approved or not. She did not want to repeat their past misunderstandings and upset him all over again when it was something that had been truly forgotten over the years. He looked over at her and he shrugged his shoulders. He had given in to his eventual faith on this. She smiled over at him and said ‘Don’t worry. I will be nice.’ 

She did most certainly mimic Sidney to within an inch of his life. Even he had to admit that she was very good and when she had finished, both Lord and Lady Babington were in hysterics. 

‘That is uncanny Charlotte! You have him down to a tee!’ – Esther laughed immensely. 

‘Yes! Yes!’ – was all Sidney could say but quietly delighted that Charlotte still recognised him enough to carry him off so well. 

‘Well on that my friends, I am going to leave you for a few moments and check in on the children.’ – Esther said still laughing. 

The three remaining carried on with their card playing but a few minutes later, the butler came to instruct Babington to join his wife upstairs. 

‘I will be back’ – he said to Charlotte and Sidney. 

‘Well Miss Heywood. It appears to be just you and me for the moment. Shall we concede defeat on the card games and remove ourselves and our drinks to the fire?’ – Sidney asked. 

They retired to the chaise lounge before the fire; each of them slightly feeling awkward now that they had found themselves alone. Charlotte kept her eyes on the flames in the fire. With the light from the fire and the soft light from the candles in the room, the light flickered across her face. Sidney leaned back into the seat and took her in. He could not help but smile. 

Charlotte broke the silence first – ‘Mr Parker ...’ 

‘Sidney. You must call me Sidney. Haven’t we gone past formalities by now...Charlotte? – he interjected. 

She turned to look at him - ‘Sidney it is then’ – she smiled at him and he smiled back at her. For a moment, nothing was spoken between them, whatever Charlotte was going to say already forgotten. 

‘You were about to say?’ – Sidney nudged her. 

‘I was?’ – Charlotte was completely lost in his eyes. 

‘Charlotte may I do something?’ – he asked looking back at her.

‘Yes?’ – she replied.

The house was quiet with the exception of the sound of the logs burning in the fire. An owl could be heard from outside. 

Sidney moved closer to her before reaching out his hand around to the back of Charlotte’s head. He kept his eye contact with her throughout. He found the comb in her hair he was looking for and pulled it out; her hair fell out of its arrangement and fell upon her shoulders. 

‘There’ – he said – ‘that is how I prefer you’. 

His eyes remained on her. He felt a terrible urge to lower his lips to meet hers.

‘Charlotte’ – he whispered.

‘Yes’ – she replied engaged in the moment. Time moved slowly. 

Suddenly the door to the room burst open and both of them jumped with the sudden, surprising intrusion into their moment of intimacy. The servants had come in to clear the table. 

‘Oh excuse me Sir! I believed that the party had all retired for the evening. My sincerest apologies’ – the Babington’s butler apologetically said. 

‘No! No matter! We should probably retire as well. We shall leave you to it.’ - Sidney replied. 

‘It would appear Charlotte that our hosts have abandoned us.’ – he said to Charlotte offering his hand to help her up. She took his hand and they walked side by side up the main stair case. They said little but on reaching the top, they turned to each other. 

‘Goodnight Sidney’ 

‘Goodnight Charlotte’

Charlotte began to walk to the ladies’ quarter. Sidney stood there looking after her. He willed her to look back at him. When she did, they both smiled at each other. Sidney bowed his head and retired to his own rooms. 

***

Sidney slept poorly that night. Every time he closed his eyes, Charlotte crept into his mind. He knew what he had to do but could he do it? Could he risk it? He recognised his own feelings. He knew the love he had always had for her was still most fervently alive within him. It was unquestionable. He ached for her. But unlike the last few years where he had to keep that flame of live inside him muted and contained, now it burned so strongly he needed to release it before he exploded. 

He arose early asking for coffee. Once he had completed several tours of his room pacing up and down, he decided to take a turn around the gardens of the house. However, once outside he found himself unwilling to go very far; the distance from the two people who he was endeared to the most was too much to bear. So again he paced up and down the gardens until clarity settled his mind. 

He walked back to the house which was still very much asleep at this early hour. He left a quick note for Babington in his library and called for the footmen to bring out his horse. Sidney set off on his mission with only Babington knowing of his movements or intentions and a dictate to his friend to say nothing of either. 

***

Several hours later a tired but invigorated Sidney arrived at his destination. He knocked on the door and was shown into the study of the house. 

‘Mr. Parker. What a surprise! What brings you back here? Is everything well with Charlotte? You have just come from the Babingstons?’ – Mr. Heywood enquired. 

‘Yes please don’t fret. I do not mean to scare you. Everyone is well at the Babingtons.’

‘Please take a seat. How can I help you? It must be important as it looks like you started out early this morning to reach Willingden at this hour. Let me send for a drink.’ 

Sidney sat down – ‘Yes please that would be refreshing’ – no sooner had he sat down then he stood up again nervously. Mr. Heywood was bewildered as to what this surprise meeting was about. 

Mrs. Heywood, on the other hand, once she had learned of their visitor knew almost instantly as to his purpose. She let herself into her husband’s study. 

‘Ah Wife! Mr. Parker here has ridden from the Babingtons here this morning but he reassures me that all is well there.’ 

Mrs. Heywood stood and looked at Mr. Parker. She made no acknowledgment as to what her husband had just said.

‘Mr. Parker’ – she said looking at him earnestly – ‘I have been expecting you.’ 

Mr Heywood stood back and confusingly said – ‘You have?’ 

Sidney looked at Mrs. Heywood, took in a breath and shyly smiled.

‘Would someone care to fill me on what this is all about?’ – Mr. Heywood asked. 

‘Husband I believe Mr. Parker has something he would like to ask you and before he does, you must know that the answer you will give must be a yes’. 

Mr. Heywood looked between the two – ‘So begin Mr. Parker. I am all ears.’


	20. A Proposal

Chapter 20:

Sidney woke up the following morning with the beginnings of a sore head. Once his conversation with the Heywoods was completed and he had partially got what he came for, the Heywoods insisted that he stay the night. He was hesitant at first wanting to get back to Charlotte to complete his mission but Mr. Heywood insisted on producing a bottle of his best with a warning that he would be deeply offended if Sidney refused. It would not make a good first impression as his future son-in-law.

In truth, Sidney lay there in his bed mulling over the events of the previous day. Once he began to open up to the Heywoods, he found he could not stop. He recalled how Charlotte had challenged him on more than one occasion causing him to reflect on his own actions. He told them how she inspired him to change his ways and despite the events since the night of the fire in Sanditon, he had never stopped caring for their daughter. More than that, he had tried to be the man that she believed he ought to be. 

The Heywoods remained quiet throughout taking care to listen to him with sincerity. When he finally arrived at the point of asking for permission for their daughter’s hand in marriage, he did so nervously, unable to read what reception he might receive. Her parents looked at each other when he was done and it was up to Mr. Heywood to break the silence – 

‘Mr. Parker. Or may I call you Sidney.’ – he began – ‘I think I speak on behalf of my wife when I say... that all sounds very noble. And as my wife directs me; and I would advise you to always take the advice of a most wiser wife than oneself; I am to return your request with a yes. 

‘However I feel that I cannot give you the yes that you have come here to seek. No. No! ...’ – Mr. Heywood protested back at Sidney as Sidney tried to interject – ‘I will support your case as my wife instructs but I will give no blessing. That is, with respect to my good wife standing next to me, you are asking the wrong people. Should Charlotte be inclined to agree to your proposal, then my friend, we shall call you family.

‘Until then you are to stay here as our guest for the night. We will feed you. We will water you. And we will make sure you are well stocked for your final task tomorrow when you return to the Babingtons. And at that point my friend, it is between you and our Charlotte.’

***

‘Charlotte. Good morning!’ – Babington bounced into the breakfast room chirpily – ‘Esther will be joining us this morning I am pleased to say.’ 

‘Oh that will be nice. Did the children sleep well? I have not looked in on them yet.’ – Charlotte enquired. 

‘Yes they are both fine giving Nanny the run around as always.’ 

‘Good. That’s good.’ 

‘I’m not sure Nanny would agree.’ – Babington looked upon Charlotte. She appeared to be distant, half taking in what he was saying – ‘Miss Heywood. Is everything in order? You look a little perturbed this morning.’

‘Oh yes. I am sorry. I do not mean to be.’ – she replied – ‘Tell me again if you wouldn’t mind as to why Mr. Parker had to leave in the manner he did. Without saying goodbye? Leaving his son here alone? No idea as to when he will return? It appears all a little untoward.’ 

‘He wrote that there was some pressing business he needed to see to that couldn’t wait and as soon as he could, he will join us back here.’ – Babington said very matter of factly not wanting to reveal the secrets of his friend. 

‘Do not fret Miss Heywood. Sidney will be back here in no time I have no doubt. And as for the boy, he is not alone. He is here with us and with you. Sidney would not have left him here without trusting that he was in good hands. So don’t look so perplexed. Truly I am sure he will return in no time.’ – Babington was not quite sure if he was relieving her anxieties or her curiosities but he hoped he was achieving at least one of them. 

***

Sidney rode back as quickly as he could stopping only as necessary to rest his horse. He stopped riding when he first stepped on Babington grounds and walked the last part of his journey on foot. It was approaching the early hours of the evening with the sun a golden hue shining down on him. The sky was blue with a distant hint of red. The air was warm and humid around him. There was nothing he needed other than a cold refreshment which he knew awaited him on his arrival at the Babingtons. 

And there lay his next challenge. What would happen when he arrived back? He mulled it over on the ride back and formulated a plan to bring about his endgame. He needed the help of his old friend again, but more importantly, he needed to convince Charlotte in all truth and honesty that his intentions were of the most ardent and sincerest sentiments imaginable. He needed to do that; the alternative was something that dare not speak its name in Sidney’s mind. 

He handed his horse over the stable hand and asked for Lord Babington to meet him in the gardens. When the friends were reacquainted, Sidney filled him in on his conversations in Willingden. 

‘What is it you are to do?’ – Babington asked. 

‘Well it would appear that I must convince her of my feelings once and for all....And I hope that she will offer me a chance to make amends for the rest of our lives.’ 

‘So it seems. Well my friend...it’s time. Get to it.’ – Babington encouraged him – ‘And for what it’s worth, I do not think you have much to worry about judging by the effect your absence has had on Miss Heywood.’ 

Babington, as agreed with Sidney, called for his wife and Miss Heywood to join him in the gardens. He instructed the servant to mention not that Mr. Parker had arrived back. A few minutes later Esther walked into the gardens with her arm in Charlotte’s: the two of them in deep jovial conversation. Sidney stayed out of sight for the moment. 

‘Husband here we are. At your beck and call as always’ – Esther said smiling at her husband – ‘What is of such importance that you have called us out here?’ 

‘My dears I would like to say that I have called you out here purely because I have missed your witty conversation since this morning at breakfast but alas, I fear not!’ – falsely trying to be stern with his wife but to no avail – ‘There is someone here for Miss Heywood.’ – he said throwing his eyes in the direction of Sidney who walked out of the shadows. 

Babington moved over to wife, took her arm out of Charlotte’s and moved them aside leaving Charlotte on her own before Sidney. 

***

‘Mr. Parker. You have returned. I hope all is well. You left in such haste I feared something was amiss in Sanditon.’ – Charlotte said looking at Sidney and then to the Babingtons who had moved away. 

‘No. No. All is well in Sanditon as far as I know.’ – Sidney replied smiling at her. She smiled back: how that warmth his heart. He took a step towards her. – ‘No I have been to Willingden...’.

‘Willingden? Sir I do not comprehend. Is everyone in good health there? My family? I should go...’ – Charlotte said beginning to panic. 

‘No. No Miss Heywood. All is well in Willingden. Everyone is well.’ – he said seeing the panic in her eyes. He took in a breath. – ‘I went to speak with your parents.’

‘You did? What about?’ – Charlotte asked deeply confused and unsure of the nature of the conversation so far. 

Sidney stepped even closer to Charlotte and this time he reached out to take her hands in his. 

***

‘Babington what is going on?’ – Esther whispered to her husband. 

‘Shush! Just watch.’

***

‘Miss Heywood ...’ – Sidney began. He knew what he wanted to say but found himself struggling to find the right words. – ‘...Miss Heywood. There was something I needed to ask them.’

‘There was?’ – she asked. She was looking at him trying to ascertain what he was referring to. Her hands remained in his. 

‘Yes. Yes there was but ... they told me and rightly so I’d like to add...they told me to first speak to you.’ 

‘They did?’

‘Yes they did.’ – he added annoying himself with his ability to fudge his words. He took a deep breath to gather himself before proceeding. It was now or never. 

‘Miss Heywood. There was a time when we both know we became close, closer than family friends should be. I believe, looking back, that there was a certain understanding between us. Then came the events of the fire in Sanditon and that understanding did not come to fruition.’ 

‘Yes Mr. Parker. I am aware. I was there too.’ – Charlotte seemed even more perplexed than before. 

Sidney held her hands tighter in his. 

‘Yes indeed. Of course you were.’ – he shuck his head at himself. How silly of him. None of this was going the way he had imagined on his ride back. His nerves were suddenly taking over his mind and body momentarily crippling him.

‘Miss Heywood. I am not a man with many words. Well not ones that easily express how I feel....’ – She looked up at him with kind smiling eyes encouraging him along. – ‘At that, I prove to be failing...’.

‘No. No you’re not. You are doing perfectly well as you are.’

‘Please. Please let me finish.’ – he paused and took another breath – ‘Miss Heywood I once told you that I had never wanted to give myself over into the power of another until I had met you. I meant every single word of that at the time and I still stand by it. The night of the fire...it changed so much. Your future. My future. If it were possible to travel back in time, I would will myself to go back before that night and check on my darned brother’s finances. By god I would!’ – that last sentence he said with more frustration than anger. 

He looked at her again. Her soft brown eyes felt like they were piercing his soul. 

‘But the one thing that has not changed is my esteem for you. You remain unquestionably the most remarkable young woman I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. You are loyal, thoughtful, strong, intelligent, beautiful in person and as in mind. There is no equal to you. No equal.’

***

‘Babington? Is he? Is he finally going to do it? Is he about to propose?’ – Esther asked. 

Babington held her hand in his. All he could do was smile. 

***

‘And you must know Miss Heywood I did it all for you. I know that that may not sound sensible or logical but at every point, every juncture since we parted, all I could ever think about when I was faced with a moment of indecision was ‘What would Charlotte tell me to do?’. It was always you who drove me on.

‘And I hope Miss Heywood that I have not let you down: that I have been the best husband I could be given the circumstances: that I have been the best father I could be: the best brother: the best friend I could be. For it was all for you. Do you believe me?’ 

‘Yes. Yes I do.’ – she said after a moment. 

Sidney kindled her hands in his with nerves. 

‘Then you must know what I want to say.’ – he said hurriedly – ‘Miss Heywood...Charlotte...you must know that my feelings: they never wavered. You were and you remain wrapped up deep in my affections. I know. I know my failings. I know my faults. But Charlotte I promise you this that I will be your servant, I will do your bidding, I will support you, I will allow you to be you. I could never or would want to hold you back. 

‘And for sure I know I do not deserve you. I know I come with baggage. I come with another woman’s son. I just ask for a second chance to prove myself. To be the man you need me to be. For I so want to be. God forbid! I’ve never wanted anything as much. You are in my thoughts morning and night. ‘

‘Sidney. Stop!’ – Charlotte said – ‘Please. Please say what you want to say.’ 

‘Miss Heywood....Charlotte...events worked against us the last time but not now. No indeed not. Charlotte...’ – Sidney paused – ‘My dearest Charlotte. I beg you. Do...do me the honour of becoming my wife?’

Charlotte looked down at her hands: her hands in his feeling snug and homely within them. She heard every word he said. She believed every word he said. But there was something niggling at her. 

She let out a soft sob trying to take in the enormity of what he was saying. He was asking for her hand in marriage: something that she had so desired but had had to accept would never happen. She was forced to move on with her life and close down that part of her heart. Now she was being asked to open it up again, to take a leap into the unknown but yet she was reticent. What would happen if she were to be hurt again? Could she sustain it? She loved him. She loved him so much but was that enough? 

She looked up to him with teary eyes – ‘Do you promise Sidney? Do you promise Sidney to never leave me again? To never walk away from me again? If I agree, your word is your bond and as would mine. I need to know that I can trust you, trust us. Can you promise me?’ 

‘Yes Charlotte. Oh for sure I do! I would do whatever you ask me of me to do to prove my love. Charlotte! Oh Charlotte! I will do whatever is within my powers to do to prove to you I mean every word I say. I love you most ardently. Please say yes.’ – Sidney made another heartfelt plea. 

‘Then I say yes! A hundred thousand yes’es!’ 

And with that Sidney threw his arms around her, picked her up and swung her around. He placed her feet on the ground and cupped her chin in his hand – ‘Charlotte my love. You have no idea how happy you have made me.’ 

He leaned his forehead in into hers before positioning himself to place a kiss on her lips. 

Unfortunately, he had forgotten about his audience and his best friend and wife were rushing towards them with whoops and hollers of congratulations. Sidney and Charlotte were briefly pulled apart but they kept their eyes together throughout. Neither truly heard what their friends were saying but there was mention of Babington opening his best bottle in celebration and Esther enquiring of Charlotte what her wedding plans would be. 

The two ladies headed back to the house with the gentlemen following. Before they reached the house, Babington turned to his friend and said – 

‘My old friend. I am truly delighted for you. Truly. But now that our wives are also best friends, someone is going to have to break the sad news to Crowe that our all night drinking sessions may need to come to an end. One wife he can handle. Two wives I fear will be his undoing!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crikey! Felt the pressure on this one. I hope I've done them justice.


	21. A Period of Anticipation

Chapter 21:

Later that same day, once the initial celebrations had been completed, Esther took the children out for a walk in the gardens leaving Charlotte some solitude to absorb the events of the day. The gentlemen had retied to somewhere in the house. Charlotte decided to spend some time enjoying the extensive library the Babington family had collected over the centuries. It was a rare pleasure to savour. It was one her favourite pastimes when she stayed with the Babingtons. 

The library was a fine space in the house. It overlooked the grounds looking down onto a lake which was sat snugly among the trees that overlooked it. On the furthest corner, Charlotte could see Esther with the nanny and children playing carefree next to the lake. She took in a deep breath and pinched herself. To this young boy, she would now soon be responsible for his upbringing and wellbeing. To his young boy, she hoped she would deliver him a brother or sister. To this young boy, she would become his mother. She felt no doubts about it but was a little overwhelmed by it. 

‘A penny for your thoughts Miss Heywood?’ 

She turned around and looking at her from the opposite side of the room near the door was Sidney. She smiled at him. He was so handsome she thought. He took her breath away. He created a feeling of such excitement in her that it made her blush. Her thoughts should remain private to her for the moment she agreed with herself. 

‘I was just allowing myself a moment to let today seep in.’ – she said to him – ‘I think I am still a little in shock.’ 

He began to walk over to her. ‘Shocked? I suppose there is a lot of take in. You have not changed your mind?’ – he asked nervously.

‘No’ – she smiled at him again – ‘No not at all.’ She took a few steps over to him. 

‘Good. Good. I am both glad and relieved to hear that.’ – they moved ever so much closer to each other – ‘You know Miss Heywood. We have a lot of time to catch up on.’

‘We do?’ 

‘Yes I believe we do.’ – Sidney had reached Charlotte. ‘I would like to think that we could pick up from where we left off if that were possible.’ 

‘You do?’ – Charlotte could not take her eyes off him – ‘And prey tell me. Where did we leave off as you put it?’ 

‘I would like to think from that day on the cliff walk. Where I made a fool of myself with my ridiculous talk of the weather and balls. Do you remember?’ 

‘Yes I do.’ – Charlotte giggled – ‘But I remember other things of that day too. Far nicer things.’ 

Sidney stood before her with her hands in his. ‘Oh? And what would those things be? – his eyes smiling as much as his mouth did. 

‘Yes’ – she said removing her hands from his and placing them on his chest. 

‘Charlotte’ – he whispered her name softly – ‘I love you.’ – his breathing became heavy. 

Charlotte raised her head to meet his, their noses and foreheads touching. She replied – ‘I know.’ 

And with that Sidney’s arms went around her pulling her into him and he kissed her like a thirsty traveller at an oasis. He realised in haste that his need for her could be deemed inappropriate before their wedding night. He pulled back but Charlotte was in equal need of being near him as well. When they realised their passions for each other, they giggled together. 

‘Charlotte. You must make me a promise that we marry no later than is necessary. I need to make you my Mrs. Parker as soon as possible. If not, I fear for your and my .... sanity shall we say!’ 

‘Yes my love.’ – just the words as Charlotte said them out loud made her almost cry with happiness. 

Sidney stepped away and went to leave the library. Charlotte felt his absence almost immediately. As he reached the door, he paused. He then quickly closed the door of the library to give them privacy and walked back over to Charlotte with great intent. He put one arm around her and another through her hair and he kissed her with such heartfelt intention. When he broke from her, he then let her go. Charlotte was breathless after that kiss and she had to steady herself against a chair. 

Before he finally left her alone in the library, Sidney turned to her and grinned – ‘That my Charlotte is just a taste of what our life together will be like.’ 

***

Charlotte returned to Willingden as scheduled. Sidney was to follow in a few days. 

When her carriage pulled up outside her family home, her young siblings rushed to meet her. 

Standing back where her parents who, with puzzled expressions, were greatly curious as how events had transpired after Mr. Sidney Parker had left them. She had not written to them so they were still completely in the dark. 

It was her mother who spoke first – ‘So Charlotte is everything as it should be?’ 

‘As it should be?’ – she felt in the mood for toying with them a little longer – ‘Do you mean to ask if I am still the same person as when I left?’ 

‘Possibly?’ – her mother asked annoyingly getting little from her daughter. Her father stood with his mouth open with desperation – ‘Child will you tell us? Did Mr. Parker speak with you?’ – this time it was his turn. 

‘Oh Mr. Parker. Yes. Yes we spoke a lot.’ – Charlotte again playing with them. 

‘About?’ – they cried. 

‘Oh this and that. A lot of things really.’

‘Charlotte!’ – her mother exclaimed. 

‘And he asked for my hand in marriage and I accepted!’ – Charlotte finally declared. 

Her parents ran over to her and put their arms around her. 

‘We are ever so happy for you my child. We could not be prouder.’ – both parents said, her mother even shedding a tear with delight. 

***

Sideny and his son joined her in due course. He took rooms in the village which was the appropriate thing to do. It would offend the rules of engagement for him to stay under the same roof as his intended. After a day or two, it became too cumbersome for him to be transporting himself and his young son over to the Heywood Estate so it was decided that the boy should stay with Charlotte by means of the two of them getting further acquainted. If she were to be his mother, Sidney felt that there was no sooner moment suitable than the present to begin. 

When the three of them were together, one would be surprised to acknowledge that they had not yet been wed yet: they were already husband and wife in temperament and habits. Even Mr. Heywood commented to his wife on the differences in their relationship to the one Charlotte had had with Mr. Harlow. ‘Yes’ – Mrs. Heywood agreed – ‘These two are very much from the same mould. I can see now why Mr. Harlow did not last. Charlotte needed a man who already knew his own mind, not one who was in search of it. Mr. Parker is a far better match for her.’ Both parents were very much satisfied with the pairing. 

On one afternoon very early in Sidney’s time in Willingden, they were out walking. 

‘You know Sidney there is something that you have yet to do?’ – Charlotte said to him. Sidney was still very much in awe of his new wife to be and was always listening attentively to anything she said to him.

‘What would that be my love?’

‘Do you believe us to be thoroughly knowledgeable of each other yet? – she asked. 

‘Well no. Probably not. But we have the rest of our lives to find out.’ – he replied. 

‘Yes we do’ – she said smiling as she talked – ‘Or you could court me instead?’ 

He stopped briefly. – ‘Court? You wish me to court you despite us already having an agreement in place?’ – He loved it when Charlotte came up with new ideas. 

‘Yes I do Mr. Parker. I expect you to court me. I expect you to flirt with me, to surprise me, to make me laugh and to seek me out.’ – she was the one now flirting with him. 

‘Aha!’ – he replied – ‘That is duly noted.’ 

And no sooner had he finished his sentence then he stopped her in her tracks pulled her into an embrace so quickly that no one around them would be aware. When he let her go, they began walking again and when they had gathered themselves together again, Sidney whispered into her ear - ‘I will court you Charlotte so prepare yourself for more of the same.’ 

‘Your definition of love Sidney is not far off from what I’ve read in books.’ 

***

A date was set for their wedding day which respected the proper rules of mourning on Sidney’s part: not a day more, not a day less. Sidney had but one disagreement with his future mother in law on this though. He wanted the wedding service to be as early as possible in the morning. He was damned if he was going to wait any longer than was necessary. 

However, Mrs. Heywood had to have a rare stern word with him on the matter. 

‘Sir this is a busy household. If you believe that I can turn out an army of children, a husband, a bride and a wedding reception in one morning, there will be no wedding! Early afternoon will be the earliest it will be and that is final!’ 

Charlotte warned him to not push any further so his concession was the only route to take. 

‘Son’ – Mr. Heywood said to him – ‘You must realise by now that the Heywood women are not to be trifled with when they have their minds fixed. You have made the right decision.’ 

Sidney found himself smiling so much that his features were forever changed. He walked like a man supported by air. If his friends and family were to see him now he believed they would find him unrecognisable. 

Between the two of them, Charlotte and Sidney shared looks that they believed were secret just to them but were in fact noticeable to all. As the weeks progressed, even Mr. Heywood had to comment that the sooner the two of them were married the better. 

***

Eventually Sidney left Willingden to organise their affairs in Sanditon. 

It was agreed between them that they would take a house there after the wedding but they would reassess a permanent residence after that. He begged Charlotte to join him in Sanditon to which she agreed only if she could stay in Trafalgar House to respect the rules of decorum. Sidney wrote to Mary and all was agreed. 

Charlotte’s carriage began the final part of its journey as it reached the cliff road into Sanditon. She lowered the window and could begin to smell the sea. She recalled her first time to Sanditon, in the carriage with Tom and Mary. Tom could not help but speak positively of Sanditon and how refreshing the sea air was. Despite all that had happened, as she took in that same sea air, Charlotte could not but agree with Tom. How she longed to the feel the freedom that Sanditon offered. 

Her mind drifted away with pleasurable thoughts of seeing Sidney again shortly. He was due to meet her on arrival at Trafalgar House. 

When Sidney wrote to his family about his engagement, all parties had written to her with congratulations. Georgiana in particular was very happy with the news. Since she had come of age, she was a contradiction of wanting to go out in the world on her own terms to holding back ever so slightly waiting for Sidney’s approval. It was proving to be a surprising adjustment. Now that Charlotte was to be the closest thing to a sister she would have, she wrote to say that she was looking forward to them making Sidney’s life even more full of ladies’ conversations and title tattle to torment him. Charlotte informed her that they would do no such thing. 

As her mind took her to a very happy place of reverie, she was jostled out of it by the noise of her groomsmen calling her horses to a stop. ‘What was going on?’ – she wondered to herself. She stood up to look out and she saw her beloved there next to his horse on the side of the road. She got out of the carriage as he handed his horse over to one of the groomsmen. 

‘Sidney!’ – she exclaimed with surprise – ‘What a lovely surprise!’ – her eyes looked adoringly at him. He beamed back at her. 

‘I could not wait to see you especially in front of all the Parkers who are down in Trafalgar House. Forgive me but I wanted to have you all to myself first.’ 

He instructed the groomsmen to take the carriage and his horse to Trafalgar House and to pass on the message that they would walk to Sanditon on foot. After they had left, they were finally alone. 

‘I have missed you my love’ – Sidney said kissing her hands. 

‘I have missed you too.’ – Charlotte returned pausing to look at him - ‘Do you remember Sidney the last time you stopped my carriage on this road?’

‘For shame I do. It is in truth one of the reasons why I wanted to meet you here. To eradicate that memory once and for all.’ 

‘Yes. Yes I agree. For a moment that day I thought you had stopped the carriage having changed your mind.’

‘Please Charlotte. Let’s not speak of it. It is in the past.’ 

‘Let me finish Sidney.’ – Charlotte said jokingly rebuking him – ‘For that one small moment I did. But I know. I know what you did that time for your family, and as much as it hurt me at the time, I still believe it was the right thing to do.

‘But let me tell you this Mr. Sidney Parker. As much as I tried to forget you, to move on from you, I never could. You captured my heart that summer and you never left it. My heart is yours and remains yours till the end of our days. I just wanted to tell you that.’ 

Charlotte watched as Sidney bowed his head down and then raised it again with that beautiful smile of his that took her breath away. 

‘I do not deserve you Charlotte.’ 

‘Well Mr. Parker that may be the case but it appears that you are now stuck with me.’ 

On their walk back to Sanditon, Sidney took her on a detour to the old Parker Homestead that the Parker siblings had grown up in. When their finances took a turn for the worst after the fire, they had agreed to sell the house and its lands to its tenants. The new owner wanted the house so as he could look after his ill wife and for her to enjoy the fresh sea air to replenish her constitution. 

‘Why are you telling me this Sidney?’ – Charlotte enquired. 

‘Well it would appear that the owner’s wife took a turn for the worst recently and succumbed to her illness. The house is now on the market and the owner would like a quick sale to return to London.’ – he informed her. 

‘That is sad news indeed. It would be a shame to see the house be left unloved.’ – Charlotte said. 

‘Yes my thoughts exactly. We had some very happy times as children in this house. I know for a fact that Mary was quite sorry to leave it to move into Trafalgar House.

‘Charlotte’ – he progressed – ‘Although we have agreed to leave here in Sanditon for the foreseeable future, I think we are both in agreement that the house on Heywood Terrace does not feel appropriate for starting our new life in.’ 

‘Yes quite. That same thought crossed my mind as well.’ 

‘So I have been thinking...’ – he paused to ascertain her reaction – ‘...I was thinking that we could possibly buy back the Parker Homestead and make it our own as our permanent home.’ – He waited for a response. 

Charlotte took a small walk towards the house to catch a further glimpse of it. It was not altogether a bad idea. Mary had often spoken very fondly of raising her children in the house. It was a house built truly to be a home. 

‘So you are proposing then that we make Sanditon our primary residence and make this our home? Sidney I am honestly surprised. I did not take you as the sentimental type.’ 

‘Well ... possibly that is your affect on me.’ – he replied happily – ‘It is true. For a long time, I ran away from Sanditon, from my family and its obligations. But I find now I want nothing but that. Our family. Our children. Yours and mine together. To be raised here in Sanditon.’ – he let the words settle with Charlotte for a moment – ‘What do you say Charlotte?’ 

She looked at him. She could see in his expression how much it meant to him and there was no way she could refuse him. 

‘I say we should book a visit with the owner and have a discussion.’ 

***

The weeks turned into days until the wedding. There was such an air of excitement both in Sanditon and in Willingden. 

All the ladies had arranged to meet in London to discuss and organise the bridal dresses for the occasion. It was a brave man who ventured into Bedford Place as they all stayed there under the same roof. Even Mrs. Heywood made the journey. And when she saw her daughter in her wedding dress, it brought a tear to her eye. 

‘My child. I recall so vividly when you were a little girl. I caught you trying on my dresses. Do you remember? Now look at you. You have your own dresses now and call me biased but I believe you to be the most beautiful bride to behold.’ 

‘Oh Mama!’ – Charlotte cried as well. 

Lady Susan met with them and introduced them to the best dressmakers in London. Charlotte had written to her not long after the engagement was agreed to tell her of our happy news. Susan wrote to say how happy she was. She had always believed that her story with Mr. Parker had never truly reached its conclusion.

One day they were out for a walk together in Hyde Park and conversation turned to the same topic.

‘This is, my dear friend, how it was meant to be. You and Mr. Parker. No matter how much I would have preferred things to have progressed with Mr. Harlow, he never really stood a chance did he?’ – Susan commented. 

‘Possibly Susan but given how events at the time appeared differently, truly if Mr. Harlow had proposed, I would have accepted and even with Eliza Campion, sorry, Eliza Parker dying, I would still have kept my commitment to Mr. Harlow.’ 

‘Ah now Mrs. Campion. What do you think she would make of you now winning her husband and raising her son?’ – Susan asked. 

‘I am sure she would be appreciative of the intention.’ – Charlotte said. 

‘I fear she would not Charlotte. That was not in her temperament. I suspect that wherever she is, she is fuming at the thought. You were always her Achilles heel. The mention of your name in polite society would rattle her and she was nothing but pernicious. Now Charlotte, she may not be of this world anymore but I believe that you have finally won that race!’ – Susan matter of factly said. 

***

The day of the wedding finally arrived. If Willingden thought that nothing would match the visit of the King to its parishes, it was mistaken. The wedding of one its most popular young ladies brought out so many well wishers from many districts. The crowd growing outside the church grew with each passing hour that morning. Lady Susan and the Earl of Wormwood, the elder Mr. Harlow even made an appearance as did a representative of the King.

Sidney spent his last few remaining days of widowhood with his family taking rooms in Willingden. They all remarked how very different this wedding was from his first to which his reply was this one was built on love and respect. He was not afraid to admit it but he felt like a truly happy man. 

On the Heywood Estate, madness and disorganisation was the course of the morning as the household tried to get everyone dressed and ready onto the carriages to the church. While Mrs. Heywood oversaw getting the bride ready with the help of her other daughter, Alison. Mr Heywood was tasked with organising the rest of the children into the carriages before he was needed to walk his daughter down the aisle, something that he was not relishing. 

When the moment arrived, Mr. Heywood held onto his daughter’s arm outside the church before proceeding. 

‘Papa what is the matter?’ 

‘Oh Charlotte. You have no idea how happy you have made me. Not just today but for your entire life.’ – he said trying to maintain his dignity – ‘I could never hand you over to a man who I did not think worthy enough of you. It is evident that Mr. Parker truly cares for you and you for him. You are now going to move onto another stage in your life where you will have your own family to look after. I ....’ – he struggled to find the words – ‘...I could not have hoped for a better outcome for you.’ 

‘Oh Papa! Please you will make me cry.’ 

He sniffled a little before composing himself. 

‘Charlotte if you do not want to go ahead with this, now is your opportunity to say so. I can organise a carriage to take you straight to Dover and you can board a boat to the continent. You just say so!’ – he said half-heartedly. 

‘Papa!’ – Charlotte scolded him - ‘Walk me down this aisle before I call on Mama to do the job instead!’ – And with that he pressed a fatherly kiss on her hand and led her down the aisle to her future husband. 

For Charlotte, the wedding passed like a dream. As she stood next to Sidney, she could sense him there but she could not look at him for fear of crying with happiness. On saying their vows, they both had to compose themselves to muddle through. To anyone who had born witness to their journey in getting to the altar, there was not a dry eye in the church. 

On leaving the church, the applause from the gathering crowd outside was nothing but heartfelt. As the happy couple led the wedding party back to the Heywood Estate the wedding celebrations, there was such an air of contentment amongst everyone, it was remarked that this was one of those rare days when the sun beamed down nothing but good wishes and joy. 

All their closest friends celebrated with them that day. Charlotte was particularly delighted that even Mr. Stringer could make it. He was now a rising star in the world of architecture, and at one point, Charlotte could hear him arguing with Mr. Tom Parker on the virtues on a pier for Sanditon following his recent visits to Brighton. Yes nothing had changed on that front and probably never would she thought to herself. 

Esther left her husband’s side to seek a quiet word with Charlotte. 

‘So Charlotte I assume you have had a conversation with your mother as to the particulars involved on a bride’s wedding night?’ – Esther being Esther pushing the boundaries of conversation as always. 

‘Why Esther! I have grown up on a farm. I know how these things work.’ – Charlotte replied. 

‘Ah but that is not the same as man and woman my dear friend. No indeed not! Don’t be all coy with me. I know you Charlotte. You will have wondered about this a lot I dare say!’ 

‘Esther truly you are incorrigible!’ 

‘I know! I know!’ – Esther said in agreement – ‘But Charlotte I suspect you have little to worry about. For if Sidney had the same schooling as Babington, I would hazard a guess that you will find Sidney a most generous lover.’ 

‘Esther!’ 

‘And what’s more Charlotte. They tell you that love-making is purely for the purpose of procreation. Well I suspect your mother has not told you this...but it is also immensely pleasurable!’ 

‘Esther!’ – Charlotte rebuked her again laughing. 

As the day progressed, Sidney and Charlotte found themselves to be always slightly detached from each other as well wishers wanted to speak with them. They stole glances at each other with looks of love and desire. Eventually, Sidney was able to make his way over to his new wife – 

‘Mrs. Parker. How does that sound?’ he asked of her. 

‘It sounds and feels wonderful.’ – she replied. 

He gave her one of those shy smiles of his – ‘Good. Good.’ – he said before he got called on again by another guest. 

However, before he left her, he stood behind her and whispered into her ear – ‘Tonight when we retire, send your maid away. I want to undress you myself.’ - and walked away. Charlotte’s heart almost stopped with anticipation. How she wished they could leave early. And when they did finally get to leave, she did as she was instructed. 

When Sidney came to join her for their first night as man and wife, he removed the clips from her hair to let it fall naturally around her shoulders. He began to unbutton her dress and when he got to the last button, he spoke to her with such desire in his voice – 

‘This Charlotte is exactly how I have pictured you but now... now nothing can hold us back, it is time for us to make new memories’ – and with that he let the dress drop to the ground and he allowed their passions to become one. 

‘Let no man undo what we start tonight’ – he whispered to her.

**Author's Note:**

> Like us all when we step away from everything we've ever known and tasted things we never knew we enjoyed, the world never looks the same. Not the same river. Not the same woman. More to come!


End file.
